I have enough. I have always had enough. Stuff, that is. Maybe I don’t have what I need, which is why I am constantly trying to find it at James Perse. Ha Ha…I kid, but not really. This is really a discussion for my therapist, but I do think I might have a small shopping problem. But I also think I don’t. I’m not going into debt to buy things, or buying what I can’t afford. I am buying what I don’t necessarily NEED, though, and as I did yesterday, when I go to try my new things on with my old things, I’m reminded of how MANY amazing pieces I already own, and don’t get to wear, that I wonder if I’m just collecting.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, either, lots of people collect things like art, books, antiques, etc., I just collect clothes. And bags. And shoes. Which I think is actually more practical, because I can USE those things, unlike art or antiques, which just provide pleasure. Ah…there’s the rub. I know this about myself, but here it is again: if it’s not practical, I can’t buy it. I have never been able to spend money on things to look at and simply enjoy. Like art for my office.
The problem is, as I mentioned above, that I look in my closet, and then my other closet, and then in the boxes of clothes I have stored away, and wonder why I need so much. And get frustrated because I want to wear all the things I own, but can’t possibly, given my lifestyle, and the fact that I don’t have to go to work everyday.
I do love everything I own, if I don’t anymore, I don’t have a problem getting rid of it. I just sent a few boxes of clothes/shoes to my sister, and sold my Jerome Dreyfuss billy bag that had been sitting unused for almost a year. I’ve sold countless pieces at designer consignment and given even more away at goodwill.
So, what’s my problem?
It’s that I DO HAVE ENOUGH. I do mini-style sessions when I buy new things and always end up thinking, wow, I have so many good things – EVERY TIME. But I also love shopping and acquiring new things. Of course I do; I make my living shopping and talking about shopping. But it all has a purpose right? An end-game. Which is what? I don’t know. I used to think it was to have the perfect wardrobe or perfect things so that I could stop buying and just enjoy what I have. But I don’t think that’s it anymore. I don’t think I ever want to stop buying – but I do need to strike a balance, and find the discipline to not go crazy buying everything that fits, or that I try on.
Here it is. My end-game: to cement my style, my uniform, and my shopping strategy so that I have just enough, not too much, and I don’t feel overwhelmed or frustrated when I look in my closet. I liked Janice’s post yesterday on reading material related to personal style. And as much as I may think that I do know my personal style; that I don’t need any help defining it, I probably do. She mentions that one of the books has exercises that help you narrow your style down to two words. Two words. I’d like to figure out my two words.
I love to shop, and I will still shop as often as I can, but I need a strategy, and some discipline when it comes to how much I spend and what I spend it on.
So…I have decided that I’m going to engage in a few exercises from now on, and will chronicle them here. First, I’m going to create and stick to a monthly budget for clothes/shoes/accessories and beauty products. Second, I’m going to do a monthly closet inventory and style session to determine what I want or need to buy and what I should get rid of. Third, I’m going to check out some personal style resources and really work on honing in on what I like, and how I see my style (which I think will be a lot more work than it sounds!).
I’ll reserve the first week of the month for these posts, starting in April.
Oh, and here’s what I bought yesterday. At James Perse (I took the tote back). More details to come, but as usual, they’re both absolutely perfect, and stunning on.
James Perse tucked double v long-sleeve tee
James Perse cotton gauze drape-front top
Have you ever done exercises like I’m talking about? How have you gotten a handle on your own spending habits? Do you have a shopping strategy?
Definitely try the exercises – it’s terribly liberating to have a clearer fix on what it is you really want your image to say. We’re inundated with images of so many beautiful possibilities; we need all the help we can get focusing on what’s right for us, and not just what’s appealing and attractive in general terms.
this is so true janice! just when i think i have it nailed down, i see something ELSE i love, and want, and need…and what i think i know, flies out the window.
thank you so much for posting those resources, and for your comment. i’m tremendously enjoying reading your blog, i only wish i had started earlier!
I’ve been reading your blog forever, and my sense is that you often talk about things as the “BEST EVER” – and how could you ever pass up buying the best ever anything? You couldn’t of course. I think that the superlatives are not your friend when it comes to shopping sensibly.
I have intermittently struggled with a similar problem where I’m just buying too much stuff. I don’t have room for it, don’t need it, and even though I love it, it actually ends up making me feel worse in the long run because I feel guilty about wasting the money and stressed about not wearing/using it enough or finding the space to store it.
It is not easy to do, but I’ve found that you have to try really hard to lose the emotion around stuff. I also try to be extremely critical about what I purchase now and unless an item is 100% perfect and something I’ve identified as something I need, then I don’t buy it. I wish I could say I do that all the time, but in actuality it’s probably more like 75% (hey, we all slip up every now and then, right?). Anyway, that’s what works for me.
You’re very brave to talk about shopping habits when it’s your livelihood! Good for you for taking this on. For what it’s worth, here’s what works for me.
1. I don’t set a shopping budget because the temptation is to spend up to a maximum limit without guilt, whereas I just try to spend as little as possible when I see something I love and think I would get lots of use out of.
2. I buy probably 80% of my clothes, footwear, and accessories second-hand, so if I buy too much, I don’t have the guilt of overspending and I can easily donate the excess. It’s also a great way to experiment with new styles to see if they work for me or not before I invest in new pieces.
3. I take photos of every item I own and keep them on my hard drive. Then when I’m considering getting something new, I can count exactly how many long-sleeved black T-shirts I have. That usually puts an end to any urge to get more, and it also helps me identify gaps. Having visual reminders of my entire wardrobe is also useful because I live in a four-season climate, where half my wardrobe is tucked away at any given time and I can’t remember what I own.
4. I limit my wardrobe to one closet; if stuff doesn’t fit, then more stuff ain’t coming in unless some stuff goes. And since it takes me more than a whole weekend to move my spring/summer wardrobe over to fall/winter and vice versa, I really don’t want to have yet more stuff and spend yet more time doing that.
Janice’s blog has been very helpful for me to help pare down my wardrobe. I’m so glad you’ve found her! Looking forward to seeing how you make out.
wow…this is so accurate jennipher! thank you so much for this. i do attach WAY too much value/emotion to clothing – and superlatives – haha! i get so excited though, especially now that i can try things on and they look GOOD on me. this is really something i’ve never experienced…and i’ve gone overboard. it has been almost a year since i lost weight, so i should probably learn to live with it and not go crazy buying everything as i have been by now!
and you’re describing my after-purchase feelings exactly – i feel worse in the long run, even after i buy things i love, because i end up stressed about not wearing them enough, or not having room for them, or whatever. I want to stop this cycle.
thank you so much for your comment – it’s very insightful 🙂
thank you laurel !! you’ve given me the push i needed to clean out my closet (again) and pare down. my husband’s gone for a bachelor party all weekend, so i’ll have all the time i need to sort through things and spread out all over the place…it’s also about time to start getting some of my exclusively summer stuff back out again, so i’ll do that too.
problem is that we have a pretty small closet in our bedroom that we share, so i have to have some things over in the second bedroom, but probably not as much as i do. And this time, i’m going to write down (and maybe photograph) every single piece i have, including exercise and “lounge” wear, so i know exactly what’s in my wardrobe. i think that will bring some things home very quickly – as soon as i see that list!!!
i just discovered your blog via the great Janice. I wonder to what extent reading blogs–not to mention producing very good ones like yours–can lead to TOOOOO MUCH. I do love your aesthetic!
hello! and welcome 🙂
i can definitely attest to the fact that it DOES lead to too much – as janice herself mentioned in her comment, i see so many beautiful things and things i think i MUST HAVE every day that it takes a lot for me to hold back. obviously, i haven’t been holding back very well!! that in combination with the fact that i don’t have a firm budget in place and various stresses around moving/dog dying/etc., lately, i’ve been out of control. hopefully sharing this and going thorough the exercises i mentioned will be a significant first step in getting on track and getting my closet under control. (i can’t say back under control, because it never has been!!!)
My problem is that I find the perfect jeans or shirt then decide to buy another one or two just in case they disappear forever. So my new strategy is to buy the very best I can afford of an item and live with one not multipiles. Because quality lasts so I do not need more. It is also why I have become addicted to Janice’s blog, she is really brillant at the less is more dressing code.
haha! yes, i do this too. i do it with different colors though, if i like the white one, i need the black one also…and it doesn’t ever seem to work out that i do! funny…
i mean, the plus side of that is that now, i do indeed have lots of good, high quality basics, and enough cashmere sweaters to last the rest of my life.
Excellent post. And I relate so much. Three years ago I had 2 full closets and 3 containers full of clothes. Today everything, except my coats fit into my walk in closet. My wardrobe is much smaller than it used to be but you know I still have more than I need BUT it is manageable and everything, except special occasion wear, does get worn. It has taken discipline, refining of my style and a growing desire for a more minimal and consistent wardrobe. Not saying I am there yet but I have come a long way. Off to read Janice’s post.. thanks and I will cheering you on.
2014 is the year of “buy what you love” only for me. I can relate. To be truthful, I used to think I love everything but truly, I don’t. It’s that little shopping high that’s addictive. I make it a habit to list everything on Poshmark and go through my closet monthly. It’s liberating!