Today, I’m so grateful to be featured in Imogen Lamport’s Stylish Thoughts series on her blog. Please check it out and share it on social media if you’re so inclined; show her some love!
Her excellent questions really made me think! And I’ll leave you to read my answers on her blog, but I’d like to ask you, now, some of the questions she asked me:
What is the secret to great style?
The One piece of advice most women need but don’t get?
The best piece of style wisdom you ever received?
I will say a bit more about that last question, though, the best piece of style wisdom I ever received. I referred in the post not to style wisdom, necessarily, but the general wisdom & relative peace that comes with the acceptance that things change, and that there is no “end,” until, of course, there is. And I have to give Lisa a lot of credit for helping me apply that to my wardrobe, and my life in general. She may not have said that in so many words, but through her comments here and posts on her own blog, Lisa has been a consistent source of guidance over the years, particularly since I embarked on my minimal closet journey, helping me embrace change and enjoy the journey for the journey’s sake.
I (still) spend an inordinate amount of time trying to keep things EXACTLY as they are in any given moment. Good or bad; anything is better than the unknown. With regard to my wardrobe, I had this idea in my head that I needed to create a “final” wardrobe that would somehow carry me through the years effortlessly and without ever having to think about what to wear ever again.
I no longer harbor the illusion that that’s even possible, let alone desirable. And “the only constant is change” is my new mantra. Thanks to Lisa, and indeed all of you who leave thoughtful, meaningful comments on all my posts, especially the personal ones, where I share with you my struggles and bumps along the way. I am eternally grateful for the community we have created here and our support of one another.
Thank you!!
Congratulations on your appearance in Imogen’s blog! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts expressed there, but since I took offense on your behalf at one of the comments, I decided to comment here, rather than engage in a war of words with strangers who find it necessary to criticize someone else’s style choices. The questions you have asked are great food for thought, especially since I am a full year into the process of trying to revamp my wardrobe, my closet and the REAL root problem, my life!
To me, the secret to great style is to be true to yourself, rather than following trends, and to project confidence in whatever you are wearing. The hard part is to figure out who you really want to be when you grow up. I found great direction in narrowing down my style through Sally McGraw’s “Already Pretty” blog and the resource books available for purchase through her site, and have found your “Minimal Closet” series very helpful, as well. Still a work in progress, but moving forward, slowly but surely.
The piece of advice I think most women need is to invest the time and money to have your clothes tailored to actually fit. Whether it’s an expensive designer piece or something off the clearance rack at Nordstrom, if it doesn’t fit properly it won’t ever look good. By the same token, that less expensive piece will appear to be of much higher quality if it fits properly. Some fashion book I read pointed out that when you see celebrities sporting clothing from Gap or other low-end retailers, the reason they look stunning in those brands is that they have had them tailored to fit as if they were custom-made. So I found a great tailor near my office and have budgeted $30 per month for alterations. I keep items needing alterations in one place and prioritize them, so that each month I can get the top two or three fixed, within that set budget. Hems are $10; other more complicated jobs may take my entire monthly budget for one item. It has made a huge difference in how I feel about my clothes while wearing them, and has allowed me to salvage many items that were taking up closest space unworn. I now hem my jeans instead of rolling them under, and have my summer tops taken up in the armholes so I don’t have to add a tank or cami under them in the Texas heat.
The best piece of style wisdom I ever received came from a former boss who became my lifelong friend and mentor during the years I worked with her. She was beautiful and elegant, and the epitome of classic style, while my style at that time could best be described as “postpartum frump.” I had a year old baby and 15 pounds of baby weight to lose, and was on the verge of divorce, trying to figure out a career path that would allow me to support us on my own. She taught me to identify quality items on sale racks at better stores and also to shop consignment stores, but the advice that I still hear in my head every time I shop was her admonition to choose a basic wardrobe color and use accessories for variety. I can still hear her saying “If an item of clothing comes in more than one color, it will always look most expensive in black.” Twenty-six years later, my work wardrobe is still primarily black and neutrals, although I have gotten braver with the accent colors, and incorporated more color in my casual clothes. I lost her to cancer in 2011, but when dressing for important occasions, I still follow her advice that it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed, and I hope she would be proud of the style I’ve developed using her as my role model. .
As always, your blog continues to give me great points to ponder, even though our lifestyles and wardrobes are very different. I share your aversion to change, and an still trying to make peace with the fact that change is constant. Thanks for continuing to share your journey and style evolution with us!
thank you for your comment! i love your answers so much…
and since you touch on tailoring, and the comment over at imogen’s touches on tailoring, i’ll just say that i agree with you – that it is always advisable to invest time/money into tailoring. certain things, however, just can’t be fixed. like a wool sweater (like the one I’m wearing that was roundly criticized at imogen’s) with sleeves too long, or the “two sizes too big” dress.
i wouldn’t fix the dress, and the sleeves are meant to be drop-shoulder…so…that was indeed the look i was going for. maybe not very flattering, but as i’ve always said, that’s not my primary goal when getting dressed.
but with regard to jeans/pants/etc., i’m just deathly afraid of getting them hemmed/fixed for fear of “ruining” them. so i continue to roll my jeans under if i want them shorter, and live with them a little too big in the waist. i’ve had too many pairs of jeans hemmed and not been happy with the way they look afterwards that i give up. perhaps i shouldn’t. maybe i should look much harder for an excellent tailor i trust to do the work. but i don’t.
i did recently take up the straps myself on a slip dress i bought. it was harrowing work, but it needed to be done. so maybe it is that i’m reluctant to pay a tailor? i don’t know…
anyway, i appreciate your thoughtful comment, now and always. thank you.
If those sweater sleeves bother you (not saying they should) I learned a great trick when I inherited a bunch of expensive men’s sweaters from a friend moving to a tropical climate. It’s hard to explain without a photo, but you take a large rubber band or elastic hairband and place it over the sleeves of the sweater just below your elbow. Then pull the sleeve up over the elastic so that it blouses over enough to cover the elastic and so that the bottom of the sleeve hits your desired length at the wrist. Looks a lot better than rolling the sleeves from the bottom, and can be used to create 3/4 sleeves from almost any long-sleeved top . I applaud you for wearing what you love, and anyone who has ever read your blog knows your “look” is very intentional. It may not be for everyone, but “you be you.”
Thanks so much for your very thoughtful post Grechen. I know the majority of my readers will find it inspiring and I know that some find your style the kind they really relate to best!
Imogen Lamport´s last blog post ..Before You Throw It All Out for a Minimalist Wardrobe Read This
Lisa often has quiet words of wisdom. I love that about her! Remember, you’ve given us so much of yourself, and WE are forever grateful for you!
Sorry about the loss of your mentor, TAM. She sounds like a wise woman. Great points about tailoring, but I’m never sure how to find a good one…ideas?!?
Duh! I never answer the question!
I believe the key to great style is simplicity. We sometimes think that just because we own jewelry, we have to wear it all at once! Maybe instead of removing one piece before you go out, remove two.
Advice? Buy the best quality you can afford, within your budget. Now, I’ve got to take my own advice.
I think my favorite piece of advice was from you (channeling Marie Kondo, perhaps?): Buy what you really love…don’t settle for so-so.
Mamavelveeta03, finding a good tailor can definitely be a challenge. I had used one for years who was near my office and very affordable, with the understanding that when the day came, she would do the alterations on my daughter’s wedding gown. (After fitting prom dresses and other formals for her over several years, I felt she would do a great job.) Long story short, that lady was getting older and had some health issues. She nearly ruined my daughter’s gown, which we picked up for the second time four days before the wedding in unwearable condition… I made a panicked Facebook post and fortunately, a friend recommended the tailor who saved the wedding dress at the last minute. I promised her that if she could fix the dress, I would be a loyal customer til she retired. Her prices are not the lowest, but she has tackled several really complicated jobs and always does flawless work. I have learned to check with her for an estimate before committing to anything more than a hem – prices seem to vary sometimes, and her staff will quote me higher prices than she does. I would suggest starting small – maybe a pair of your less favorite pants, a skirt that has needed hemming for a while, etc. Once they have built your trust, you can move up to having them do more major jobs. I didn’t check Yelp and other on-line reviews until after the wedding debacle, but had I read them, I would have realized service was starting to slip at my old place, and that my new place was a favorite with many well-dressed women in town. Hope that helps! I’m fortunate to be in a major metropolitan area (Dallas/Ft. Worth, less than an hour from Grechen!) and I have lots of choices; I can only imagine how tough this could be in a small town.
Well, it’s a drive, but I’m sure East Hampton has someone. Your tips are very helpful! Thank you!
such great tips!!
something else i’ve done is find out where places that sell high-end denim send things out for hemming or recommend – i found my AMAZING tailor in Atlanta that way, and have found one here i’ve used a couple of times, but they’re “downtown” and always so busy that i never go.
Hi grechens, will you give the details on the dress you are wearing in this picture? Many thanks, robin
hi robin! here is a link to the post with all the details. it’s actually a skirt and tank top! http://grechenscloset.com/outfit-surprise/