I’ve been thinking a lot lately about personal style, my own specifically. That might be what spawned my recent post/poll about dressing your age, and it is definitely the reason for my not posting so many outfits-of-the-day recently. I’ve been struggling for quite some time with outfit boredom, and general disappointment. Disappointment that I don’t look like I want to – and no, I don’t mean 5’9″ and shaped like a ruler – I mean a thinner version of my hippy/curvy self. I can’t reconcile my desire to buy and wear things like this, this, and this, with my current weight, or with my current lifestyle. I see things and I want to wear them so badly, but I know I can’t – mostly because I won’t look the way I want to look in them – and also, where in the hell am I going to wear them? really?
Being so incredibly busy doesn’t help matters much. I work at least 12 hours a day, many days, I work several hours more than that. My fiance also works at home, and works at least as much, sometimes more, as I do. We are both extremely passionate and connected to what we do, it’s hard to get away from it. Inevitably that means that we don’t get out much. We’ll go out for lunch or dinner every once in a while, and on the weekends, go and visit family, but other than that, we don’t just “go out.” And I don’t find the time to go shopping as much as I used to – which was my way to “connect” to others in real life who are interested in the things I’m interested in (I would go and visit my favorite SAs).
I don’t really have an answer or conclusion right now – I just wanted to bring up something I’ve been struggling with and share it with you (I share EVERYTHING fashion/style-related with you! you know that!). I know that others feel the same way – the problem is that no advice will do any good. I go through this with my sister all the time; she complains about her tummy pooch and wishes her body was shaped more like mine, and I wish my legs looked more like hers. No matter how much I tell my sister how great she looks, she doesn’t believe me, and when I’m feeling especially uncomfortable and she tells me I’ve never looked better, I think she’s crazy. It’s just the way it is with us (women, I mean)…and even though I’ve come to love my body and appreciate the wobbly bits, I can’t say that I don’t get frustrated with things I wish were a little different.
The problem is I’ve really let it consume me lately, to the point where I don’t want to take outfit pictures. I need to just back off myself and give it a rest – have fun with my clothes again and try something new. The funny thing is, that when I take pictures of my outfits everyday and post them here, I see what I REALLY look like – which is fabulous (LOL) – and receive such lovely comments that I start to think I’m crazy…
It’s not that simple, but maybe it should be. Stay tuned for more personal observations, and please, feel free to share your own!
(one of my favorite recent outfit pictures – because I’m on vacation :))
I actually didn’t get into fashion until I dropped several dress sizes and HAD to get new clothes. Looking back, I feel like I missed out on a lot when I used to hide behind plain, oversized clothes. Please dont fall into that trap. Live the life you want to live now.
About working too hard, I can relate. Because I physically cannot work my fingers to the bone like I used to, I feel like I cant accomplish much. That’s something I need to work on within myself!
I look forward to reading more about your journey.
.-= Carla´s last blog ..“Are you close to your family?” =-.