You guys…I am SHOPPING like crazy. As you can probably see LOL. I am using budgeted money and/or credits, buying on sale, and being very thoughtful about it, but still…I know it’s anxiety shopping. At 30 weeks, I’m getting down the wire, but not really, since there’s still 8-10 weeks left. Which is a long time. I am feeling more and more uncomfortable, mostly when sitting and especially after eating; he seems to be crowding out my stomach/lungs.
I’ve also read a few birth stories, which TBH are sort of freaking me out. I know…I know…I have to go with the flow, and be prepared for anything, and I am, mostly, but I’m more afraid of an epidural/c-section and recovery from that than I am of a vaginal birth. Like I know from either, but I always feel most uncomfortable in situations where I have none of the control. Right, I know, I have no control over this “situation” at all either, but at least with a vaginal birth I’ll feel like I have a teeny bit??
So, retail therapy it is. And just like I’m allowing myself to just be fucking exhausted and sit on my butt for hours and eat all of the peanut butter puffins, I’m allowing myself to buy all the things. I’ve made some mistakes, and those I am returning and/or selling, but overall, whatever makes me feel good in this body, and less anxious for just a moment, I’m totally going for it. Maybe I’ll even watch Fleabag season 2 again. Just because I can 😉 AND THE HOT PRIEST. OMG.
Elizabeth Suzann linen gauze harper dress | I purchased this secondhand from Slowre when I first learned I was pregnant 😉
I wear this frequently at home and love it for that, but for the most part, I don’t love the length of this dress on me, or how big it is, not in a way that I like, if that makes sense. It’s the one size. It’s comfortable, and I’m glad I have it, but I am not inclined to wear it outside of the house. I will probably happily pass this on after pregnancy.
Rag & Bone tee (medium) | my dad bought this for me when he was here
Mother maternity jeans
Birkenstock Arizona platform sandals (via credits at Shopbop, but they’re sold out)
I wore this out to lunch, etc., with a friend on Friday. I love the color of this tee, and the fit/quality, etc, but I may make the jeans sit out the rest of the summer; they’re just more than I want to have touching my body right now, and any amount of synthetics just make me too hot. I’ve been so glad to have them though, I couldn’t have made it through the first half of pregnancy without a pair of maternity jeans.
James Perse cotton tank top (size 4) | a zillion years old, still perfect
Hatch Maternity beach pants (size 2) | 100% cotton
These are the pants I mentioned ordering from Nordstrom recently. I like them a lot, and the wide elastic band is very comfortable on my belly, but they do not have pockets and feel a teeny bit constricting around my thighs when I sit. I’m sending these back. BUT, I do recommend them for super-lightweight, “natural” (although elastic isn’t natural at all, is it?) maternity pants if you’re okay without pockets; they’re so cute, and feel great on. I’ve just recently made pockets non-negotiable in whatever I wear. I don’t know how I overlooked the no pockets thing when I ordered them…
Lauren Manoogian Playa pants (size 2) | on sale at Totokaelo
Storq daily tank (size 3) | gift from Storq
Everlane shrunken denim jacket (small) | ordered a while ago with referral credits I earn from Everlane
I miss harem pants, what can I say?? I ordered these LM pants and another pair (the Peg) just thinking I’d try them and they probably wouldn’t work, and they’re not final sale…so…
I’m not entirely convinced about these playa pants yet, although I think they’ll be much cuter when I’m not pregnant. The Peg pants are AMAZING though, much better than the Hatch pants I’m returning since they have pockets – REALLY great pockets – and are much more interesting. I got both in size 2, and I think that’s the right size for me, both for now, and for later.
I haven’t actually worn the Everlane jacket yet (I ordered it a long time ago), but I seem to be always on the hunt for a cropped denim jacket and wanted to try this one. It is actually cropped on me (you can tell more from the back), so I might keep it and wear it when I need to, but even though I’m always looking for denim jackets, I never seem to wear them…
I did order a couple tanks from Storq just today, but otherwise I have nothing else on the way, nor am I even thinking about ordering anything else. Oops, well, okay, I did think about ordering a Maxine crop linen top from Elizabeth Suzann for a second…
Just a word on choldvirth plans – if there’s anything I’ve learned in the month or so since I hit 37 weeks, it’s how important it is not to put too much pressure on yourself with regard to childbirth and parenting. I expected a natural birth and to breastfeed, but my blood pressure went up and I ended up being induced at 37 weeks. Neither the baby nor I were ready, and I ended up with a epidural (pitocin contractions + him descending with his face forward made for terrible pain) and then a c section. Recovery from the c section has been fine – I got up and moved around as soon as they would let me (walked around the hospital campus the next day). The incision is still tender a month later, but I can do a sit-up. The forced birth process did make breastfeeding much harder. I’m now on a mission to tell women to be gentle with themselves – we can only make decisions with the information we have, and that information is limited, since no one can see what our hormones are going to do.
Emmeremm´s last blog post ..AMA
Grechen Reiter says
thank you!! yes, i know how much things can change, etc. and i don’t have a birth plan per se, just what i want to happen in an ideal situation LOL…above all, i am trying to be gentle with myself, flexible, etc., but that’s never really been something i’m good at!! i can definitely tell i’m getting better though. this pregnancy in general has been a huge lesson in being gentle with myself 🙂
I have the same ES dress and I’m so so about it as well but my issue is with the shoulder sleeve area. as I have the short sleeve. I do think I would’ve liked the long sleeve more. I feel like the cut draws attention to my doughy arms and I prefer to blame the dress, not my arms. But it’s ok and I do use it quite frequently. My long sleeve Harper top is by far my favorite piece in that fabric (I also have the Georgia dress, which I find a bit short so I typically wear it over pants if to the office, don’t mind the length as much on the weekend).
I love harem pants when it is hot as I instantly feel cooler without having fabric on my crotch (sorry for my directness lol). With these I think they look adorable on you (I love that color) though I think I would prefer the bottom of the pant to be a little slimmer for me (like the EF pair back in the day was). I rarely look good in a wider leg like that unless it is a flare silhouette (skinny on the upper part).
Leah Wise says
Hot priest! I am actually en route to become an Episcopal priest, so this was a very informative season, lol. I have also had crushes on priests, though not catholic ones. It’s a thing. I read a couple birth stories this week just because they presented themselves and I know what you mean about feeling a little anxious afterward. I’m not pregnant but I think that if/when I do get pregnant, staying away from birth stories might me a good self care practice for me.
Grechen Reiter says
yes, i sort of dislike the sleeves/shoulders on the dress also. i mean, the dress is so comfortable and great for maternity, but it could be a little better on me i guess…i’ve always wanted to try a long sleeve harper top/dress – i’m just waiting for one to come through slowre 😉
lol, i totally agree with you on harem pants and HOT weather haha. and yes, i think i’d prefer them to be a little more narrow at the bottom. but i do think i’m going to keep them and try and wear them. if i don’t, i know where to sell them.
Grechen Reiter says
yeah, i’m not reading any more birth stories haha. i’ve read enough at this point! i set out in the beginning making a conscious effort to NOT read too much, and i really haven’t – i certainly haven’t read as much as i would otherwise, or do about other things, but yes, in the last week or so a couple of birth stories popped up (shout-out Elaine!!) and i read them.
i had never thought about crushes on priests being a thing, but i can TOTALLY see it now. haha. he was just an all-around really good character though IMO, very open, vulnerable, and real, while also being hot. it’s funny because he played Moriarity in Sherlock but i was too busy having a crush on benedict cumberbatch to have a crush on him. 😉
And if you decide to sell them I need to figure out how to Snag them ???.
And you got me hooked on the Eileen Fisher ones so I am forever grateful!
Loved season 2 of Fleabag! The hair scene with her sister is especially hilarious. And the actor was so creepy as Moriarity, plus his voice is sort of strangely modulated (does anyone notice that?), so it took me a while to see his appeal. He is really cute, though probably an alcoholic with an anger problem. :/
Birth stories are hard because they are written after the fact when new moms are so exhausted and emotional, lol. Grechen, you might find it helpful to do the tour of your hospital’s labor and delivery unit. I find medical things easier to endure if I know exactly what will happen and what to expect. I admit to totally geeking out when I was pregnant with my oldest son.
Grechen Reiter says
i wish EF would bring harem pants back!! i’d prefer a more natural fabric though…
Grechen Reiter says
i’m trying to work on a to-do list and hospital visit is top on the list. i do think that will help, and i’ve been talking to my doctor and husband about my “wishes” etc., so i do feel more comfortable.
haha. you’re right about him as moriarity, he was pretty creepy. I mean, he was evil. 😉
Michele Shannon says
I had 2 c-sections, which weren’t my preference, but at the end of the day I had two beautiful healthy boys who are now in college. Recovery didn’t seem like a big deal at all, but I didn’t have the vaginal birth experience to be able to make a comparison.
What I learned; roll with whatever happens, make the best choices you can as you navigate your way through the process and don’t be hard on yourself if it doesn’t go as you’d planned. Once the baby is born, the route he took to get here won’t seem so important.
liz c. says
My first pregnancy was twins, and I remember reaching a point about halfway through where I was like, “Wait, there’s only two ways these babies can come out, and I don’t like either of them. Option C, please.” But when it came to delivering them I didn’t find it scary. It was much easier getting in and doing it than sitting around and anticipating it.
Love the Rag & Bone jeans with the T. So cute on you.
liz c. says
Ugh, I mean Rag & Bone tee with the jeans!
I feel like I definitely got lucky with both my births, and I’ve had friends who definitely don’t feel this way, but I think being as open as possible is the easiest way to avoid the kinds of traumatic feelings that can come if or when the birth suddenly becomes something you have no control over. I had a doula with my first and was going to go without an epidural, but because I had an induction, the pain was just too much eventually, and the epidural absolutely made the experience peaceful, gentle, and (can I say this?) even fun, with my husband, sister and doula all there cracking up and positively encouraging me. It was simply amazing. And with my second, I experienced the difference between the induced and the non-induced contractions to be drastic — as in, the non-induced contractions were MUCH more manageable. That’s just my experience, but I’m glad I remained open because I think I couldn’t have really anticipated what I would need in either case! You are such a star, and you look so fabulous while pregnant, also, THOSE HAREM PANTS! I want!!
Ah, childbirth stories. My advice to you is listen to none of them, and just do your thing. Childbirth is like being on a runaway train, you are on it, and you ride it till the end. Do what you have to and just remind yourself, most of the human world does NOT have all the fluff and stuff we have here at our fingertips. Make it your experience. Dont model your thoughts and actions after people wanting to tell you how you ” should” feel. Of course, all care must be taken to do the best for the baby and you Yes! But emotionally it belongs to you and baby and Daddy.
Remember : for every horror story out there……..there is a great story!!
Haven’t seen Fleabag yet but I reject any “hot” clergy who isn’t James Norton, the hot vicar of Grantchester 🙂
[and the fact he was Moriarty prejudices me already…..]
Re: Attitude/feelings toward childbirth…I think a lot of my attitude toward impending childbirth came from the encouragement I received from my mom, who had a drug-free childbirth for all 3 of us kids via hypnosis for pain control, and my dear friend who also went drug-free for both of hers. They knew that I wanted natural childbirth and were my biggest cheerleaders. In the end, I had all 3 of my girls without assistance of pain meds and it WAS doable for me. However, I had what I think are relatively easy birth experiences. If I had long labors, I might have a completely different recommendation with meds.
Plan for what you want, but realize that plans can change. No birth is a failure!
Christine Chin says
I know you are probably sick of unsolicited advice, but I feel like everyone should know this…Get a GREAT midwife and or doula, onethat you are employing independently, if you can afford it. I would totally have ended up with a c-section if it wasn’t for the incredible knowledge and coaching if my midwife. I really think one of the saddest things about birth in this country is the lack of knowledge about natural birth— practitioners are very quick to jump to medical interventions. A really experienced midwife or doula who is in your employ… not the hospital… can advocate for what is best for you, not what is best for the insurance of your medical providers.
I agree, Catherine. (To all of the above!) I found the Hospital L & D tour to be reassuring in so many ways, not the least of which the nurses all raved about my doctor. To have their vote of confidence was great!
OMG, YES! (And he’s not going to be in the next season, from what I understand…:-( )
LOL but also Moriarty was totally wackadoo in Sherlock! That quickly persuaded me from having a crush on him on that show…
Have you thought about altering the length on the ES dress? I bought this same dress off STES and the seller had gotten it hemmed to just above the knee and the length is super cute IMO — very Black Crane-esque… I also just like knee length better than midi length in general though. But like other commenters said, I’m still getting the hang of the shoulders, since I have broad shoulders and I can’t tell if this cut flatters or accentuates them..
I got linen harem pants on Etsy, but the sellers (I think it was Not Perfect Linen?) have such a backlog of orders now (4-6 weeks plus shipping time.) I’m obsessed with Lauren Manoogian and want the Tier caftan, but that much money for a dress is probably not happening, and the darker colors are sold out (I have the Capote coat and wear it constantly in cooler weather.) I did just order the Black Crane scallion dress, and really do not need another tent dress (but they are awesome, it’s true!)
Grechen Reiter says
oh, i’ll be interested to hear what you think of the NPL harem pants!!
i am also looking at the tier caftan, but want the price to decrease a bit, and also, would prefer it in a darker color. her yellow/mustard is very pretty 🙂
I’ve seen the replacement – he’s no James Norton but he’s not bad. Hopefully he’s a good actor with a good storyline too!
Talking to my doctor and doing a hospital visit was the best thing to calm my anxieties, because it helped me understand their “standard operating procedures” and how it would align with mine. So that when things did go differently than how I envisioned, I had a good idea of what my doctor/the doctors would do, and what the options were. My husband was my advocate during delivery and made sure to stay on top of things with the medical staff, and that was a huge relief.
Btw I delivered both my girls at UT Southwestern and had a great experience! Clements hospital is quite fancy. 🙂
I actually googled right after I wrote my above comment in hopes they brought back the harem for summer! They didn’t, sadly. Then I searched on poshmark with no luck.
I’d be all over that, lol.
Oh, turns out my linen harem pants are from knock knock linen on Etsy (also in Lithuania, but shop is on a break so I can’t link). The quality is excellent. There’s a lot of fabric, though.
Grechen Reiter says
oh, yeah, i’ve had one of their shirts come in to slowre and i was VERY impressed with the linen quality. jenkr has at least one of their shirts, maybe more stuff? i know she likes it too.
too much fabric? is there anything you can do about it?
They are just super-baggy, maybe moreso than other harem pants, but I’m fine with it. I probably should have sized down, but they are very comfortable, so it doesn’t matter.