My serious little man…
Hi! It’s been awhile…sorry. But thank you for continuing to check in. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving, in spite of it looking quite different this year.
I could write forever now, updating you on everything, but I don’t have it in me. I’ll try to summarize 😉
These last few weeks I’ve really been living in my reality – facing facts I would rather not – and have come to terms with a few things.
One – although I have had some anxiety most of my life, I’ve been able to “control” it for the most part myself, without medication. Until now. I have had some episodes recently that I couldn’t get a handle on, and frankly scared me, so I’m going to start taking something. I’ve also had bloodwork to test my hormone levels as my doctor thinks imbalance could be a big factor too, given all the other things I’m still experiencing 15 months postpartum. We’ll see. I need to feel better.
Two – I am incredibly thankful and lucky that I don’t have to continue to work if I don’t want to. At this point, it’s adding more stress to my life than it’s worth, in general, so I will probably cut back on Slowre. I haven’t decided for sure yet and I hate that I have to choose between work and Hawk, but I think I might have to, and Hawk will absolutely come first.
Three – I have moments here and there when I get really upset about my weight, but for the most part I have accepted that this is my body. Not “for now” – it just is. I had big plans to get on a more stringent exercise program in December to try to lose weight, but at this point I still feel like I’m in survival mode and doing all the physical activity my body can handle. And I don’t feel mentally prepared to give up my small brownie-with-tea-during-naptime habit I’ve recently adopted, so….
I hope that by freeing up some of my time by cutting back on slowre I’ll be able to write more here, so I’ll expand on each of the points above eventually. Or maybe not. Again, I’m so thankful to be in the position to work or not work – It’s not lost on me how fortunate I am. I’ve had a very hard time thinking about cutting back working even more than I have already; I feel like a failure, like I’m letting Hawk down, etc., etc. It’s all very confusing and feels “wrong” in some way, even though this will probably be the most “right” thing I’ve ever done.
I’ll come back next week and tell you about what I bought during the sales (it wasn’t a lot), but definitely check out Girlfriend Collective and Shopbop if you haven’t already. I am living in my Splendid thermal pieces lately – this tee and the cardigan – and they are older than I can remember, still going strong; I recommend them highly. They’re on sale, along with most of the site: 20% off orders over $200 until 11/29.
How are you? How did you spend Thanksgiving? Did you buy anything during the sales?