(Via Instagram)
Eileen Fisher crepe ankle pants | size medium petite
Sundry chambray shirt | similar tie-dye version on sale at Shopbop
Zara cocoon sweater | several years old
Robert Clergerie Gavale sandals | on sale at Amazon
Everlane large modern backpack | purchased with credits from Everlane
Well, I survived Bar Mitzvah weekend. Quite well, actually, it was really nice, and a lot of fun. I might have even danced a little. Although I don’t think there’s any evidence of that, so I can deny it if I need to…
I thought this morning I would write about the amazing things that happen when you go outside your comfort zone, but it turns out I’m still recovering from the food coma/non-stop moving from one event to another and don’t have it in me to be so profound; the gluten/sugar brain fog is real.
So I’ll save that for another day, because I do have a lot to say about it, especially with regard to sartorial choices, and whether or not we should always dress according to conventional ideas of what’s most “flattering” for our body types. Of course, I’ve said plenty on that topic before; if you’ve been reading for a while, you know I don’t care very much about wearing what’s conventionally flattering for my short torso, short legs, wide hips and thick calves. But it does seem to be very important to many women, and it’s always something that comes up in comments here and there, which means it’s always worth touching on again.
But moving on for now – I will also deconstruct what I packed for the trip and what I wore for the Bar Mitzvah events over the weekend, including a surprise pop of color (see…WAY outside my comfort zone!!!!!) this week.
I will say, right now, that the Everlane backpack performed relatively admirably over the weekend (I used it as my carry-on bag, taking a smaller purse for the events) with one minor issue:
I contacted Everlane as soon as I noticed the problem and they responded within an hour or so by putting a new one in the mail to me and sending me a return label for me to send this one back so they could examine the problem. As usual, excellent customer service. I hope this isn’t a widespread issue with the backpack, but if you got one that’s doing this, contact them ASAP and they should resolve it quickly.
Overall, the backpack worked very well as a carry-on, it has more than enough room for everything I needed, and was easy to carry. The front pocket is admittedly a little difficult to get into in a hurry, and then zip back up (it would be better if it had a zipper pull on each side), but that’s a rather minor problem. Actually, I will probably spray the zipper of my new one with a little wd-40 to make it easier to slide.
That’s it for now, though, I promise once I’ve detoxed a bit today with a TON of greens, lots of water, and a trip to Pure Barre, I’ll be back to 100% for the rest of the week.
Happy, happy Monday!!!!!
Yellow!! Bravo!
Color is awesome!
Your style doesn’t suit your squat, short body. And why are your upper arms are still so flabby? If you do pure barre so often, they should be more toned by now.
This is a joke comment, right?
Wrong. I’m completely serious. God forbid, that anyone should tell her the truth. I’m also sick of you fan-girls fawning over her unattractive outfits. Most of you are ass-kissers, who have no sense of style. Grechen also does the most unflattering photos I’ve ever seen, especially, when she crosses her stubby sausage legs. ( BTW: I made a typo above. I meant to write: “And why are your upper arms still so flabby?”) This is a blog for women who are obsessed with shopping for crappy clothing. I couldn’t resist finally speaking my truth.
Please feel free to read other blogs–no one is forcing you to come here.
You know, there’s a lot of research about how we can be moved to write things on social media that we would never say in person – would you actually feel comfortable saying these comments to Grechen face to face? They may be your “truth” or opinion (although I can say your “truth” is not shared by me and many other readers), yet your comments are neither kind nor constructive, and I’m not sure what your purpose is in writing them. As Jen says, there are many other blogs you might enjoy more.
And might I suggest, whenever I am tempted to say or write something negative to another person, I find it helpful to to engage in some self-reflection about the impact my comments might have both on the recipient’s happiness and on my own – why do I feel so strongly about my right to “speak truth” that I risk being unkind to another person? Usually, the impulse is just a reflection of something I am unhappy about and tells me a lot more about my own shortcomings than about anyone else’s.
Very well said, Chris. I would add my 2 cents, but you summed it up perfectly already. Wow.
chris, thank you for such an eloquent, thoughtful comment; you’re absolutely right of course.
I’m totally shocked that Everlane bag had a problem SOOOO quickly. Nothing you’ve been posting about their products recently is giving me the urge to try them out. Yeah, it’s great they have good customer service and jumped in to solve the problem, but maybe spend a little more time on product development and slow down the roll-out of new stuff until the kinks are worked out??
Looking forward to your weekend clothing choices!!!
Unless I missed this somewhere, would you be willing to do a post on everything you packed for the Bar Mitzvah weekend? thanks!
You didn’t miss it. Absolutely I’ll post one this week!!
This is so well stated! I was recently on the other side of an email where someone spoke her “truth” and it was so hurtful and mean. In the end I decided not to respond to her at all (after writing one in my journal), because I realized what she wrote had everything to do with her and nothing with me. I guess the other thing that hurt was that we were pretty close friends – or so I thought.
“They hate us ’cause they ain’t us.”
Grechen, I love your blog. Forget about the haters. Bravo, keep it up!
So sorry that you had to go through that Gretchen. Just keep in mind its is ONLY people who don’t feel good about themselves who do this to others.. I have the same arms as you do and you have inspired me to go sleevless this summer. Also-way MORE people like and identify with your style than with AJAs.
Here is our sweet ‘girl’ AJAs blog if anyone would like to visit her 🙂
http://www.fitforafemme.com/work-more/
**edited by grechen – there’s some speculation that the person who left the comments (aja) is NOT fit for a femme, that someone left comments as her and left a link to her blog. i’m not entirely convinced, but i just wanted to leave that here 🙂
Legs that get you where you want to go and arms that wrap around those you love = perfect.
I could pull apart the nasty piece of work who was so mean to you, but life’s too short to bother with anyone so plain nasty. I just don’t understand why anyone would follow a blog they feel so negative about -and then comment in such a horrible way. But then perhaps I just lead a more productive happy life and expect others to do the same….
I’m sure you’re reading here, Aja, to see whether your own traffic has had an uptick. Since I have no interest in commenting on your site, I will tell you that I clicked onto your blog and your style, such as it is, appears to be the result of your getting stuck in a tornado whipping through F21 and Loft, and that the gaping between the buttons on your shirtdress suggest a psychological block to accepting your dress size. Tsk, tsk. From one new mom (I guess, based on your avatar) to another: it’s best to keep it 100 when your own pics don’t reveal an allergy to mirrors.
Grechen is not only a popular blogger and obviously a good person, but her taste is peerless, and she occupies a space in the minimalist/’indie’ designer loving blogger with the absolute best of them. Her readership is varied in geography, income levels, physical attributes – this is obvious if you actually read her content. I WISH I were getting paid to ‘fangirl’ all over Grechen’s site, because I read it like it’s my damn job. Adios, Felicia!
Grechen: I totally understand you may delete ^^ all of that! Unfortunately I’ve dealt with Aja’s brand of jerk myself in other contexts, and am pretty good at making a nasty person back down fast and remember to not act a fool next time. You’re great and your readers appreciate you!
100% correct, Chris! A Psychotherapist would say exactly the same thing you said in your post.
Love you, Grechen! Forever and always <3
My husband suggested that it’s like “hanging out at a coffee shop with people you can’t stand”! 😉 Hard to figure…
ha! of course i won’t delete it.
BTW, your check is in the mail…LOL 😉
that is so true mallory, and i speak form experience. i used to feel like aja, and even think things about other women probably similar to what she does, but i would never have left a comment or said them out loud, precisely because i KNEW where those thoughts were coming from. i knew they were coming from a place of insecurity and jealousy…and i worked very hard to change that.
ha. love that 🙂
What a hateful woman. It’s disappointing that someone in her position would reduce herself to such vitriol. I’m sure she has had her share of people writing nasty things about her because she is a lesbian. Should that matter? Of course not. Then why does Grechen’s body shape even enter the conversation? It shouldn’t matter. Would she say those kinds of things to her wife who by the way doesn’t have a body like a supermodel? It’s so unnecessary and cruel.
Aja, the biggest problem we have today as women in our society is that we push each other down. We need to lift each other up instead. Shame on you for choosing to act the way you did.
Thanks to Jane for articulating my own thoughts better than I possibly could have, and without all the inappropriate language I was tempted to use. Bless Aja’s heart, she sure needs to get a life!
***Insert standing ovation here””” for CC’s comment!
I was not able to get the site to load and display – but it occurs to me that the person who posted is possibly/probably using someone else’s name and website to stir up mischief.
MaryBeth´s last blog post ..The Rewards of Persistence.
Grechen, you handle these comments like a professional. Thank you for this tasteful, sensitive and stylish blog!
Farha´s last blog post ..It’s time for brunch!
I don’t think that’s the same person as Fit for a Femme. The photo is stock, and the Russian translates to “A young man born in the UB”.
I don’t want to give Aja the commenter any more publicity, but I’m wondering how you found her blog? I read a blog by someone of the same name and would be blown away if this was her.
the original commenter linked her avatar & name to fitforafemme.com but i de-linked it after more and more people thought she was NOT that blogger, and that it was someone who was posing as her. we don’t have any evidence one way or another at this point, but i did decide to de-link her name from her website on her comments just in case…which is why you don’t see it now.
??????????
I have read fitforafemme for a few years, as well as (real) Aja’s other writings on the internet, and I just have a hard time believing this is actually her. It doesn’t seem to fit with her online persona at all, and if she does have a dark side I would think (hope?) she wouldn’t be careless enough to use her real name to express it. Who knows though.
Anyways those were awful comments, Grechen, and I love the follow up post you made.
I check out Grechen’s blog for years and it makes me smile, it makes me happy and it makes me think.
I appreciate the well thought out posts and so do my co-workers.
As a fellow blogger, I understand the work which goes into these posts and as a woman I understand all about the vulnerability of taking and posting pictures of yourself, exposing yourself to self scrutiny and to unwarranted and cruel criticism.
To quote Mindy Kaling, I’d rather be called ugly (insert derogatory term of preference) then to be called stupid.
you have simple sweet style looking fabulous