WEARING
Eileen Fisher harem pants | size medium
Park Vogel built-in-bra cami | n/a
VKOO summer sweater | size medium
Ishvara sandals
necklace from F21
Admonish custom leather tote
You know those style experts who say not to wear slouchy + slouchy? Always balance an oversized top with something slim/fitted on the bottom, and vice versa? Well, clearly I’m not listening to them today.
Yes, generally I think that’s a more “flattering” way to go, but lately, I’m all about pushing the “flattering” boundaries. As I mentioned before, Une Femme wrote a great post about this subject, and recently Kim France (Girls of a Certain Age) posted a pair of DKNY “harem-style” pants on her blog (which I love, and had already “hearted” at Shopbop) and received comments that were largely negative, filled with “those aren’t flattering on ANYONE,” or “no one should wear those.” To which I replied that maybe we should wear what we love, and not necessarily only what is flattering. Also noting that style, and what is “flattering,” is very subjective.
In my old age, I’ve become at the same time, more and less tolerant with regard to personal style: I have little tolerance for women who decide not to “get dressed” before they leave the house, and more tolerance for all sorts of personal style (except maybe the hipsters here in ATX – I’m still having a hard time with them 🙂 ). I am being somewhat sarcastic, but ultimately, as long as a person owns his/her look, I have to respect it, including what is traditionally perceived as “un-flattering.” (But does not include leggings as pants, visible lingerie or wearing nike shorts WHILE NOT RUNNING…see, told you I was also less tolerant ;))
What about you? Are you comfortable pushing the “flattering” boundaries lately? or do you tend to stick with traditionally flattering looks?
It drives me crazy when I see people out running errands in what basically looks like pajamas. I have workout clothes and I also have what I call “dog walking clothes” which do not go to stores. It doesn’t take that much effort to put on something marginally acceptable.
YES. i have loads of clothes that are not for public consumption.
Ugh, I feel like “flattering” is basically code for as tall and slim as possible. While the clothes that are considered flattering (a wrap dress, a belt at the waist, nude pumps, etc.) are often classic, or chic, or pretty, they aren’t necessarily the coolest or the most stylish. Not that they CAN’T be, but I am generalizing here. Often the things that are the most stylish and interesting play with shape or proportion in a way that isn’t traditionally flattering. I wear plenty of flattering clothes and they make me feel good, but I also enjoy wearing baggy, blousy, or high waisted things that don’t necessarily make my body look it’s tallest or skinniest.
What really gets me is when people wear athletic gear on a plane! As a child, my mom dressed us UP to go on a plane, and while I don’t think that is necessary, I also don’t think anyone is going to exert themselves to the point that that they need to wear Under Armour.
Completely agree with you about flattering being code… It’s true that it’s aimed towards making everyone look as tall and skinny as possible.
And i totally laughed out loud at your under Armour comment. I hate the way people dress for flying now.
Hi! I also bought these EF pants after I fell in love with them at a local store. I took them home because I love the relaxed comfy fit (and also because I have an account at that store and can buy some things and pay little by little). I’ve been having a hard time styling them and also I think I’ve been influenced by the negative opinions about harem pants online. The thing is, I really really like them, my husband likes them on me too but I’m still a bit self conscious about them.
Regarding flattering clothes, I think it depends on the person and their figure but like you I am much more open as to what other people wear, especially when they portray their individuality. For myself, I prefer tailored clothes with a twist but my inner boho demands flowy,edgy less “cute” clothes (I adore designers Annette Gortz, Sarah Pacini and Rundholz) so I’ve been trying to incorporate something like it in my life.
Sarge, that comment is great! I saw the St. John’s Univ. basketball team on a plane and even THEY weren’t wearing Under Armour! lol…
Grechen, I just read Into The Gloss by Emily Weiss today and she interviews Amy Astley, a Beauty Editor at VOGUE. Amy quoted Miuccia Prada,”Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a little wilder. Thinking about age all the time is the biggest prison women can make for themselves.”
This totally resonated with me, and I’ve been thinking all afternoon about ways that I imprison myself in my fashion and beauty choices because I’m “not supposed to wear that” at my size, my age, etc… Food for thought.
oh! if your husband likes them, you’re lucky!! mine hates all my slouchy pants. i really think harem pants look good with anything, really. just whatever you’d wear with a skirt. or pants! that’s the beauty of them. i get nothing but compliments when i wear mine, but of course those are the people who will say something, others just stare. but i don’t care, i’ve always kind of pushed the box a little with regard to norms of dress. not too much, really, you can hardly tell, but just enough where i get second looks….
please wear your harem pants – especially since you love them 🙂 forget about the haters.
That is hilarious, Val! It’s official: if actual ATHLETES do not need to wear Under Armour on the plane then there is just no excuse for anyone else!
Grechen, I am right there with you. Maybe it is something that happens with age, but I don’t always care if something “flatters” me if I really like it and feel great in it. I bought the Sweaty Betty skirt you recommended that resembles harem pants, and I LOVE it, so to heck with haters. Unfortunately, my husband also hates the look, but oh well.
my husband really hates all my slouchy stuff, that’s just how i know i’m doing it right 😉
so glad you got that sweaty betty skirt, it’s great, isn’t it? i always get a lot of looks in that too, but just as many – “oh i love that! where can i get it” questions too!!
oh, i love that! i think i’m actually the opposite; i seem to be having more fun now, and trying more things than i did when i was younger. i cared too much about what other people thought then. i can’t say i don’t still consider “what other people think” – but i give it MUCH less weight than i did 10-15 years ago. even 5 years ago…
Yay! “That’s one small step for woman, one giant leap for womankind.” (all apologies to the late Neil Armstrong)
I thi whatever you waere should compliment you – but that “you” is first and foremost your personality. If you feel like you own the clothes you wear, If you feel comfortable, you will look amazing, because you will look like YOURSELF. The fact that most guys don’t get this, is irrelevant to that question, since most guys couldn’t distinguish between the RIGHT BLACK DRESS (shoe, shirt, you name it) and the oh so WRONG dress etc. if there life depended on it; so we do and should not dress for anyone but ourselves, anyhow, except maybe for this other woman whom we can inspire to do the same.
My shopping habit has changed over the years, as well, but was always experimental/adventurous. Now I tend to buy higher quality stuff both in terms of cut and material, since they last me forever, and I have learned what fits my body (in terms of comfort, mind you).
Haven’t bought the harem pants yet, but might. But for now: if it feels right, it looks right.
And sorry for the typos, my ipad is a bit stubborn these days.
Love that necklace!
Flattering is as flattering does:).
Besides, who is the arbiter?
absolutely true.
“they” are the arbiters. “them” – you know, the “experts” who tell us how we should all look…