Kowtow organic cotton/tencel Wandering dress
Birkenstock birko-flor sandals (purchased secondhand)
Proof that he does sleep sometimes…haha.
First, thank you guys for all your comments on all my posts, last post especially. I used to respond to each comment in a timely manner, but that’s become slightly more difficult, so I apologize. But I read and appreciate all of them, and you guys have all been life-savers recently; making me feel supported and not alone in terms of what I’m going through with a newborn.
I did want to clarify that I didn’t mean to say or imply that I want things to go “back” to the way they used to be, or back to “normal” in my last post. I don’t want to go back to my previous life in anyway, I just want to FEEL better and like I have some sense of self again, whatever that looks like now. I think I just want to be more comfortable going out if I want to, and doing the things I want to with Hawk. I know that will come (it’s getting easier every time I leave the house), I just need to be more patient. Obviously LOL.
Anyway, as you can see, we did do a thing and have photographic evidence to prove it haha. My sister and niece are here this week and Monday we went to the Dallas Arboretum for the pumpkin festival, which I really enjoy. It was soooo hot and we didn’t stay too long, but I breastfed in public for the first time, and transferred Hawk from his carseat to the stroller without waking him up. Success!! Seriously, I felt very accomplished Monday evening.
But then…Hawk slept for three hours at “bedtime,” which meant he woke up at about 1 for a feeding. When he wakes up that early I haven’t had more than 2-3 hours of sleep myself, so I always fall asleep feeding him and don’t get him back in the bassinet. And Leo was out of town Monday night; I really missed the help! Ultimately, I got some interrupted sleep, but not much, so combined with Hawk’s growth spurt, no daytime napping, and constant eating yesterday, it was a very difficult day. As soon as Leo got home, I handed Hawk off and ugly cried in the shower.
Last night though. He slept for a little more than 6 hours. We both woke up at 5:30 completely rejuvenated and ready for a new day LOL. And everything feels great. Sleep is a miracle. It’s astonishing how big of a difference a few hours of sleep makes.
Damn, what an adventure. Every minute is different from the one before. And Hawk is changing every day (he’ll be six weeks tomorrow!), evolving in to a teeny person with funny little mannerisms. I think the key now is to appreciate and really enjoy the “good” moments, while treating the difficult ones with equanimity, just trying to move through them and come out the other side. Because we will come out the other side….