I’m looking for something, and I’m not going to find it in my wardrobe. Yes, I can have fewer clothes that I have to work so hard to wear, and I can wear the ones that make me feel amazing more often, but still, that is not the answer.
I’m just back from Pure Barre, which always leaves me feeling strong, invincible, and hopeful about the day ahead. Inevitably things change, and as the day goes on, I start to feel a little frustrated, antsy, and lost. Right now, I have a purpose – a mission – and the energy and mindset to fulfill it. Later, I will “not feel like it” and waste time doing other things, like browse Instagram, Garmentory, Kickpleat and La Garconne for things I could buy that would make me “feel better.”
Maybe all I need to do is shift my schedule around a little bit. I’m always excited to wake up and start my day, maybe I should save Pure Barre for the evening, when I start to feel less so?
Also, I need to quit my “personal” instagram and shift my social media focus to Slowre. That makes me anxious though, because I enjoy the interaction I have with some people on Instagram on my personal account, but I need to step outside that world now and into my own. I don’t want to be a voyeur in other people’s lives anymore – I don’t even like reality tv, what’s the difference RN?? Sorry, not sorry. I don’t have the brain space or the time for scrolling through perfectly posed images and videos; I don’t need to stoke the flames of desire anymore than they already are.
I know what desire is, desire is a tyrant. “Want makes you a servant” was the title of the reading for April 28 (I skip ahead) in my Daily Stoic book. And it’s true. When we want things, money, whatever we don’t already have, we become beholden to those things, which in turn gives them power over us.
What am I looking for? Freedom. It’ll take some time to get there, if ever, but I know some of the steps I need to take to get closer, and others I will discover along the way.
Happy Wednesday 🙂