Hatch collection linen tee | I loved this tee when I was pregnant, and I love it now…
Ilana Kohn Caroline pants | XL
I am the luckiest person in the world. I can’t believe I get to be Hawk’s mom.
It’s true, but it’s also what I use to get myself up out of bed when I don’t think I can put my feet on the ground, or move my right hand. I had to work REALLY hard this morning to get up; I was in so much pain yesterday, and this morning when I woke up, my body was especially stiff, and my right hand/wrist where I have De Quervain’s tenosynovitis shot through with pain every time I moved it at all.
Things tend to improve once I get up and start moving a little, and have my coffee, but I miss the days I could easily get myself up and down out of bed, off the floor, the couch, etc. They will come again, I know. But some days, the pain is a lot to bear.
I AM NOT COMPLAINING. I can deal with all my various “issues,” I just wish I didn’t have to you know? No, I don’t mean I would go “back” in anyway, I just wish I didn’t have so much pain. Period. And maybe I would have liked to have known that my body might react this way, although I know that every woman’s pregnancy and postpartum experience is different. I didn’t read much (on purpose) about childbirth and postpartum, but I did read some, and nothing mentioned any sort of physical recovery or pain after about six weeks.
Of course, that might be because women who realistically talk about what happens to our bodies after giving birth are perceived to be ungrateful, or complaining.
WE are NOT complaining. We love our babies, but most of us have to pay a very high price for them; many women suffer much more than I am. But we deserve to be heard, and not judged for speaking about our experiences. At this point I am SHOUTING into the ether hoping that someone, somewhere out there has gone through what I’m going through and can sympathize. I am screaming for validation, to feel less alone. I imagine there are other women like me looking for the same, so I am happy to talk about what I live with every day if that helps another mother feel less alone.
I always share my experiences here because 1. it is a method of therapy for me, and 2. maybe it will help someone else feel less alone. I’ve been so happily surprised by how many of you relate to what I talk about here, even now, after posting so sporadically.
Every morning when I get up, put my feet down (in my Birkenstocks), and stumble to the bathroom through the shooting pain in my right heel and up my left sciatic nerve I remember a comment I got from a reader that she also got plantar fasciitis after pregnancy and it went away eventually. JUST KNOWING that helps me bear it. So thank you thank you thank you for that comment, and for everyone else who shares their experiences here and anywhere else. You have no idea how much it may help someone.
Happy monday !!!!
He is my absolute joy 🙂
Dear Grechen, although I can’t relatie to the incredible pain you’re suffering from, I still wanted to let you know that I am reading this too, in the Netherlands, and that my thoughts are with you. I started reading your blog during your pregnancy and mine – my baby is about one month younger than yours. Motherhood is different for all of us, as are the challenges set for us in our role as mothers. So even if I’m nog familiair with the pain you are experiencing, please know that readers all over the world are reading your blogs and are looking at the very cute pictures of Hawk and think of you. It’s not much, but letting you know is the least I can do. Stay safe!
Oh Grechen, the things they don’t tell women about postpartum! It’s all about right after, but here are the things I’ve experienced way postpartum:
– my hair fell out for so long after I had my baby. It started coming back about six months after I weaned, and now it looks great again
– My pelvic floor was messed up and too tight? I had pain during sex. It took physio to resolve that, and it has resolved thankfully! Pelvic floor physio works!
– I got endometriosis after my second son. That is under control thankfully
– I had terrible morton’s neuroma after both of my sons because my foot size grew and I didn’t realise. It resolved after I got a cortisone shot and started wearing different and bigger shoes
– I am still working on resolving my diasticis recti. My youngest son is 3. It may never go away, but I am getting used to it and figuring out how to work around it and not aggravate the condition
My sister also had tons of foot problems after her kids that she is working on with her doctor. Pregnancy and childbirth literally affects EVERYTHING!
It is exhausting to have to be my own advocate, but so many of these things are totally fixable, and those that aren’t can be dealt with. I also started going to therapy because all of the physical and emotional changes were so much for me. I would highly recommend that as well.
Good luck with your pain. I’m so sorry to hear it!
I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this situation. I have no helpful advice, but hope that you are getting all the medical care you need in these troubled times. I know its almost impossible not to put your own health needs on the back burner with children of any age, must less little ones, but it’s important, and it sounds serious!
Hawk is absolutely darling! I love it when you post pics of him! (And I miss you!) I feel like I experienced this pain and didn’t realize there was a name for it! ( I had to look it up) I went to a chiropractor and she was a big help for me but mostly I just had to give my hand a rest-I know, easier said than done, but the pain is gone and has been gone for almost a year now. (Of course I felt awful during those moments that I couldn’t pick up Ava, so then there’s that guilt…) I’m certain that it wasn’t to the extent that you are experiencing, but OMG, it was painful! I wish you well, and please know that you are not alone and no, you are not complaining!
Annie M says
Hi Grechen, can’t help with the hand, but have you tried massaging your heel (quite firmly) as you sit on the side of the bed before weight bearing in the morning? That can help. As can wearing heel lifts as they reduce the stretch through your rear leg muscles/achilles/plantar fascia. Wishing you well, and Hawk is gorgeous!
Hi Gretchen. Thanks for asking for what you need. I’ve never had much joint and body pain before, but after giving birth to my first child at 42, totally naturally for which I am so grateful, my hands were so numb that for the first few months of her life I picked her up in my arms with limp hands and struggled with fastenings. I slept in braces every night , with her beside me. For three years after her birth I had weird and undiagnosable joint pain in my hips, knees, and feet. Just now (she’s 8, my second is 5) I am just getting past the fear of debilitating pain and starting to run distances I used to consider minor before they were born. I don’t know if that helps or hurts, but I’m feeling more and more myself in my body as the years pass. Inspired to take up corre barre by you, btw, thinking about getting a barre for home!
Ugh! I’m so sorry to hear that your pain continues. I, like you, was completely unfamiliar with the idea that a woman could suffer from pain for months and MONTHS after giving birth. For sure, that info just isn’t out there. And yes, I was younger (although, 38 for my last pregnancy), but still…doesn’t it seem like our physical issues should be a part of the medical info that we receive at pre as well as postpartum visits? I’m still experiencing a lot of pain – for different reasons – and several friends suggested restorative yoga. Maybe the universe is sending me a message. Have you tried that?
I love adorable Hawk’s sweet face!
Just reading the comments left by many of you lets us know that this is not an isolated issue! C’mon medical community! Treat the whole person and INFORM us!
Gabrielle Lau says
It’s okay to complain. Pregnancy is really really hard, and so is postpartum, even in the best case scenario. It’s messed up that people think you don’t love your child, or that you’re a bad mom, just because you’re not always having an amazing time. We’re always criticizing mothers but there is really so little support for mothers, especially new mothers. I think every mother in the world is really just barely hanging in there in the face of a lot of pressure, whether it’s physical, financial, logistical, etc. but we’ve all just been conditioned to pretend everything is wonderful all the time.
i would be complaining like hell, and also, of course, grateful for becoming a mother to such a love. But also complaining. I hope your pain can be addressed.