Elizabeth Suzann linen Andy Trousers | bought when they came through slowre!
Arq organic cotton tank
Babaa cotton cardigan | natural is sold out now, but I love mi tierra
Birkenstock shearling boston clogs | many years old…
I have so much to say and no time to say it. I actually have another post in process, in which I was trying to say all the things, and now I find it too overwhelming to pick up again. Such is life right now – wonderful and difficult at the same time. I feel anxious and overwhelmed at least once a day from all the things I’m leaving undone. Before Hawk, I had no idea what it was like to “not have time;” being a full-time mom is next level busy.
I don’t know how to do it – be a full-time mom and also work. Obviously LOL.
I think I’m trying too hard to do it like I did before, which definitely doesn’t work now.
And now, I’m overthinking, when I should just write.
How are you?
It’s finally cooling off (in the mornings) here so I can wear this sweater. I’ve had to buy new sweaters because with my weight gain, my arms also got bigger around so most of my sweaters don’t fit in the arms anymore. They may “fit” in general, but they are not comfortable to wear, or move around in. It’s frustrating because I’ve had most of my sweaters for many years, and wasn’t really looking to buy more, but here we are…
Also, hair. Mine is getting long and I have no intention to cut it anytime soon. It looks relatively healthy still. I would love some recommendations for salt/texturizing spray that’s not $$$. I’ve used Oribe and R&Co which I love, but am trying to find something a little less expensive if possible. Also, accessories. I’m not used to having long hair so I don’t know what to do with it! I am tired of just pulling it back in an elastic all the time. Do you have any favorite barrettes or clips? Claws? I hate getting crimps in my hair when I do pull it back also.
Thanks in advance 🙂 And for sticking around. I hope you’re all well!!
Hi Gretchen!
Glad you are well! my hair has grown out from a pixie to a bob/pixie/shag situation and I have been learning how to cut it myself. During my research, I have learned about and tried a number of new hair products. First and foremost, bandanas are my favorite for keeping my hair back without crimping it up. I bought a few from civil alchemy and matta new york and wear them most days. I have found actual salt spray to be way too drying for my hair overall, but have found a great texture spray that’s very light and you can keep layering it on and it doesn’t make your hair crinkly like some sprays. It’s called undressed from hairstory studios. I’ve also tried inner sense which is ok, mare from gm reverie and afterworld organics texture spray. All good but too drying. I’ve heard good things about captain blankenship which is less $$. Mt recommendation would be to buy a travel size to start and be sure it works for you. Have a great day!!
Hi Gretchen,
I have so been at this spot as a full time mom at 38. You know what worked for me. I moved. You can start fresh in a new locale down the street or across the country (we changed neighborhoods). Set up your house so you don’t have the daily overwhelm of past Gretchen that shopped, did laundry, kept the house clean, exercised 7x week, AND worked. You have to get some help, kids are completely consuming, it won’t get easier for a few years. Try a babysitter two afternoons a week (for errands and very part time work), a dog walker, and a house cleaner (once a month or more). Use screens so you can exercise. Past Gretchen is gone. Sometimes the expectation are all in your head, but when your life has shifted and your relationships have not, it can be a total drag. Trying to talk through them does not usually work, my experience is that a reset works. Good luck!
P.S. I gained 65lbs in my pregnancy, I looked in the mirror every day and saw a stranger. I managed to lose about 1/2 of the weight with Herculean effort. It took me about 5 years to sort of arrive at a “new look”, one that I think expresses my personality. For many years, I felt adrift and uncomfortable in my clothes. I wish I had put the effort in earlier rather than spending years grieving. Not sure how to cut that process short but I get it.
I’ve been using Davines sea salt spray which is just about the best I’ve found. But I have very fine hair that is also somewhat thin so it’s hard to manage. I totally get the not having time for anything feeling. My baby will be 2 tomorrow and it feels like everything’s always out of control. The best thing I’ve found during this time is grocery pickup. Yeah, sometimes I get really green bananas or items are out of stock, but it does save so much time. Also we’ve been struggling with sleep and have found that 1mg of melatonin when he’s bouncing off the walls helps SO much. Just throwing that out there.
Also a question about your Birkenstocks: I’ve been interested in the shearling for awhile but I’m afraid it’ll wear off and look patchy. Has that happened to you? Also does it ever get stinky?
I haven’t had a haircut since February so my hair is unruly and slightly wavier & frizzier than it ever has been (since I turned 40-something, I picked up a wave I never had before…) Normally I don’t care but some days I use herbal essences tousle me softly spray gel or l’oreal air dry it wave swept spray. I do a lot of ponys but I also love a french twist with a large U-shape pin (or a pencil in an emergency 😉 Sometimes I use claw clips (I saw a horrible rumor that banana clips were coming back but NOT ON ME). Yes, I used bamboo skewer things in the 90s too. I typically buy whatever is at the drugstore but I’ve seen some cute options on etsy I might explore more – not gonna get a haircut in the near future so why not? https://www.etsy.com/listing/468942118/simple-hammered-u-shape-hair-fork-silver
I’m a fan of the Kristin Ess working texture spray at Target. It’s light, I don’t need a bunch, and it’s about $14 so I think it’s a pretty good value. As for what to do with your hair – I finally have a bob now that about 1 inch below my chin, after growing out a buzz cut. Bobby pins are my savior! Most of the time, I twist my fringe area back and just pin it against my head – sometimes in the center, sometimes off to one side – just whatever I feel like. It’s easy, quick, pretty, and it doesn’t give me a headache (my scalp is extremely sensitive and I hate having it up in an elastic). You might get some bend in the hair, but typically it just turns into a nice wave. When I had long hair, I would experiment with braids, but mostly I just did a simple side braid (like Elsa 🙂 ).
Loving the amazing weather here in DFW, too!
P.S. Check out Milabu on instagram for “short” hair tutorials – I say “short” because I don’t think her hair ever gets shorter than a bob, but she has some really creative ideas for hair that’s on the shorter side. They do take some practice – the first time I tried some, it looked atrocious, but I got the hang of it eventually.
Friend!! It is always lovely to see your face and your outfits! I am currently hunting for new cardigans as all of mine are too big. After getting pancreatitis and being sick for two and a half months, I dropped a bunch of weight in a very unpleasant manner. Not that I mind shopping for sweaters – fall fashion is my favorite!
Personally, I love the snap hair clips for my hair. I have lots of different colors and they are perfect for my thin and unruly hair. Take care, friend! xoxoxo
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ah, i’ve been wanting to try the davines spray…i also have fine hair, but it is thick and there’s a LOT OF IT!! no post-partum hair loss for me.
happy second birthday to your LO!! 2 seems so far away LOL, but i know it will fly by. luckily now, after that little hiccup earlier this month, he’s sleeping extremely well again. fingers crossed. thanks for the rec though! my sister has used it with her kids and appreciates the results haha.
about the birks – yes, it does wear off, but really only looks patchy at the heel inside the shoe if that makes sense. and it takes a LONG TIME to wear off. These are 3-4 years old and i have worn them tons and they only just started showing wear a year ago. and mine don’t get stinky, but up until now, i really have never sweated much, especially not my feet, but that seems to be changing!!
Hi!
I wanted to second Amy’s rec for Undressed by Hairstory – I like how it gives “grit” and texture to my hair so it isn’t fuzzy. I also use their NewWash, instead of shampooing and find that they work together well.
One of the less drying salt sprays I’ve found is called Jelly by Cult + King. It is not crunchy and smells divine. Their site is showing out right now, but they usually restock frequently. You can get a mini size to try it out and see if you like it. (https://cultandking.com/product/jelly-mini/). All their products are made with clean/non-toxic ingredients.
Since COVID, my hair has grown the longest it’s ever been, so I use claws or “chip clips” all the time. I found this brand that makes fun, bright hair accessories that have solid hinges to hold thick and thin hair. A little bolder than what I usually wear, but they make me smile, so why not? (https://www.chunks.shop/shophair). I’ve also had luck finding hand-made barettes, silk scrunchies and old-school leather hair pins (the kind that come with a wood stick) on Etsy.
I’m 10 years out from having my kid, but I remember wondering if I would ever have style again. I can confidently tell you that YES, you will find it again. It may end up being completely different than before, but it will suit the way you live and what feels right and authentic to you now.
Have fun!
thanks erin! we are planning on moving next year, hopefully late spring, and will be closer to family, which will help me both physically and mentally. interestingly enough, before i met my husband, i moved all the time because it kept me energized. i love new things, new adventures, etc., and even if i stayed in the same city, moving to a new apartment or whatever made me feel so inspired! So i get the starting fresh idea, it really does work! i wish we could move sooner 🙂
i would love to lose my extra weight, but honestly right now i feel like i’m still in survival mode and that’s not my main goal – and i don’t feel like i have the energy to put in the work. like you said, i’m worried that it will take a herculean effort when i do really try, not that i haven’t lost weight before, but i feel it differently now, like it’s happy here LOL. anyway now my main focus is being in less pain, and so far foam rolling for 20 minutes and 30-45 minutes on the peloton every day helps a lot with that.
I second Cult + King Jelly (Love their Tonic Spray as well), and bobby pins too. I never liked bobby pins before, but I finally got the hang of them in the last 5 years or so. And they are cheap 🙂
I love Hairstory products! I find that when my hair grows longer, I tend to throw it up in a bun or back in a ponytail. So, long is great in-theory, but… Normally, I’d be all over beauty product recs, but I use high-end hair stuff. What can I say!?!
My hair went from having a slight bend to all-out wavy on the sides/curly in the back after menopause. Hormones do some crazy things! I had to get a whole new cut and relearn how to style my hair.
Recently tried a sea salt/texturizing spray, now that my hair has grown out a bit and seems to be finer textured. I picked up a random brand at TJ Maxx several weeks ago and it’s working out really well. I figured it would be a test-drive, before paying more $$ for a premium brand, but it will last me quite a long time and I’m really pleased with it.
I haven’t hit menopause yet – this is “just” (?) age and some of it is an increase in gray hair (that is thicker & coarser than the rest of my fine hair) but I’ve had some gray since my early 20s. Who knows. Constant learning about what is going on and how to handle it…
Seconding Davines–that’s what I currently! I have thick, coarse hair and this gives my hair that beachy-bedhead vibe. I also used to use Bumble + Bumble’s sea salt spray.