Eileen Fisher stretch organic cotton poplin dress (XS) | A couple years old
Birkenstock Arizona sandals
It’s hot AF right now. I guess in this situation I wear as little as possible, but honestly, I’ve determined that I’m going to be hot no matter what I wear, so I’m wearing whatever I feel like. Except shorts. I don’t wear shorts.
I wore shorts when I was much younger. Maybe this was the last time? Who can guess the year? LOL Notice the mullet please 🙂
I probably stopped wearing shorts when I started gaining weight. I always had a hard time accepting my body and all it’s fluffiness, especially from the waist down; I always felt SO DIFFERENT from everyone else around me. Now, I prefer to wear dresses/skirts – I just find them more comfortable and cooler in the heat – but I wonder if it’s because I conditioned myself to be so negative about my legs? Or if it is simply because I prefer dresses?
It doesn’t matter really, because I’m not going to wear shorts at this point in my life anyway. I am NOT comfortable in them (I’ve tried). And I know why: I have quite a bit of extra skin on my inner thighs. And stretch marks. Oh…the stretch marks.
My legs/hips/butt have always been where I carry my weight and at my heaviest I was about 200 pounds. Now that I’m down to 130 or so, the extra skin doesn’t have anywhere to go. I’ve lost weight slowly, and my legs are very muscular, but after being overweight for most of my life and now being over 40 I’m not sure I can “loose” the skin.
My arms are pretty “swingy” as well. The tops of my arms and shoulders are quite muscular, surprisingly so actually, but I have the hereditary flappy triceps as well, and they’re REALLY not going anywhere, as hard as I try. And now that I’m getting older they’re more “wrinkly” than they used to be.
I don’t know. I’ve started to become a little more self-conscious of this lately, especially leading up to our beach vacation, but I’m not letting it stop me from wearing sleeveless tops or my bikini. I still draw the line at shorts though. I don’t like to LOOK at the hanging skin and I certainly don’t want anyone else to see it…
I know I don’t want to do liposuction or any sort of invasive procedure to get rid of the extra skin. I’m trying to keep it moisturized as much as possible with almond oil, and I use the foam roller every day or so, but that’s all I can think of to do about it.
Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do about it, if anything?
Ultimately, I’m deciding to not GAF, but I’m also not going to wear what I’m uncomfortable in…
The tricep flap, ugh. The worst part of going to a public yoga class is seeing my tricep flaps in the mirror. Agreed, not letting it stop me wearing sleeveless tops (Mara jumpsuit FTW today!). Have you tried body brushing? I don’t think it’s a quick fix but it’s supposed to help. I go though phases of being very diligent about it.
I applaud your relationship to your body – it’s honest and also mostly supportive.
I confess, this photo, all I thought was “She looks FANTASTIC in red.”
I have lots of skin and droop in my abdomen/boobs after having my kids, but I have been terrified of having surgery to fix it. I just keep covered up. Also have some gnarly veins on my calves, so shorts and short dresses are out for me too. I love colder weather so I don’t have to burn up in my clothes. I will be over my body issues when I am dead!
I also carry my weight in my butt, hips, and thighs, and even after losing ~30 pounds and returning to a “healthy” weight I still don’t like wearing shorts. The pairs I own cover the worst of it all (stretch marks, veins, and cellulite), but I particularly hate the way that the inner seams of shorts ride up every few steps due to my thighs rubbing together. Ugh. There’s nothing like being reminded of your extra body weight with every step you take. Skirts/dresses are just way easier.
On an unrelated note, I just made my first Slowre purchase today and am so excited!
For me it’s less about my appearance in shorts, although I do think about it I’m getting a little better about letting go as I get older. I can’t ever forget I’m wearing them! They ride up, they bunch in the crotch, the waistband is never comfortable enough, I’m cold inside, the backs of my legs stick to whatever I sit on, etc. I despise being so conscious of what I’m wearing. Dresses for me are just as comfortable in the heat, more flattering on my body, and I completely forget about what I’m wearing. Plus one piece dressing is just so effortless and makes me feel put together when I really just rolled out of bed and threw on a sack and sandals.
Dress are best in the heat anyway, and that red one is so good on you!
I think you look good in the red, and the shape of the dress works for you. I have a very short waist and long legs, wide hip frame. i have a difficult time find dresses that look good on me.
We must be the same age, judging by your “shorts” photo! I recognize the look. I have pics pretty similar. I don’t wear short either.
Love the old pic! I was looking at some old pics of myself the other day, and thinking, why were girls’ hairstyles in the 80s so rectangular? That’s the only word I can think to describe it. I never had a mullet but I did have some very thick and poofy bangs.
I don’t wear shorts much for similar reasons, but also because they bunch up so much when I walk, and I hate that. They just won’t stay put, unless they are knee-length, and at that point, I’m like, why not just wear ankle or cropped pants? I like wearing midi dresses and skirts but I get super self conscious in anything that is shorter than knee length, and even then, I’m kind of nervous. Mid-calf is my favorite length on me.
Grechen Reiter says
i am a huge fan of mid-calf lately, although if you have wide calves you’re not “supposed” to cut them off at the widest part …but i can’t care about that anymore. i dislike showing my knees generally, but am getting better about that.
YES, i had so many “rectangular” hairstyles in the 80’s!! this picture is probably from 81 or 82? i am horrified that i had a mullet. WHY??
in the late 70’s i had a featured hairstyle a la farrah fawcett, or princess diana, but that was before her, right? i don’t even remember…
Grechen Reiter says
thank you! i love the red, just not very often LOL
and i’m not a super big fan of a-line shapes on me, i just fell in love with this dress for some reason, and it definitely comes in handy every once in a while.
Grechen Reiter says
yes, i agree. and thank you 🙂
Grechen Reiter says
yes to all of that. i remember sticking to everything growing up in florida wearing shorts. hated it.
and yeah, i just don’t find them that comfortable. AND i too, hate being so conscious of what i’m wearing.
boo on shorts!! 🙂
Grechen Reiter says
oh yes. that is a huge reason i don’t like shorts either; i would always have to be pulling them down because they ride up to my crotch. ugh.
and thank you so much for your order 🙂 i hope you love it!
Grechen Reiter says
thank you lisa! i do love the red…it’s quite pretty, just not something i want to wear all the time!
Grechen Reiter says
i had heard of it, and thought about trying it, but i am loathe to add more and more steps to my day LOL
it seems like a chore…although i’m sure it’s not.
when i first started foam rolling i noticed a decrease in cellulite and that my outer thighs seemed to tone up a bit, not there’s just more and more skin i’m not sure that will continue to do anything. of course i’m not as consistent about it either.
You make that dress look amazing Grechen.
I hate shorts (I too carry my weight on my butt and thighs) but they’re way more practical for me in real life than skirts/dresses. And I hate the fact that I have to wear skimmies/bandalettes/similar to combat chub rub when I wear a skirt/dress.
If I could, I never wear anything other than jeans/trousers…..
Cathy Tilton says
I am right there with you! As I’m approaching 60 pounds lost, my skin is noticably flappy around my thighs, my stomach, and my upper arms. I try not stress about it too much, but it does get to me. Like, instead of looking thinner and more toned, I just look……. melted. I don’t know what my solution will be long term since I am still losing. But I am not opposed to having it removed in the future. Depending on the recovery time and the cost…….
Tatyana Davis says
I too carry my weight in my thighs. And my thighs do not slim down if I work out, the muscle just puffs up and pushes whatever fat is left up. So I appear to have larger legs when I work them. But I do wear shorts on two occasions only: gardening and walking around the block. My calfs get dirty when I garden and it is annoying to me when I track the dirt on the hens of my pants. Into the house. Shorts are a great solution – rinse my calf’s off with a garden house and all set. I love ES Clyde shorts for gardening because the pockets can hold my phone and occasional tools.
The second instance has to do with exposure therapy. Last year I forced myself to go for a walk in the neighborhood wearing Athleta shorts. After initial pain and suffering of negative body talk, I saw subtle improvements in how I see my body in other outfits. I do this exposure therapy once in a while and slowly the effects build into a an acceptance of my body not as a “failed but necessary” thing but as a shape that deserves to be acknowledged, respected and, perhaps, seen.
I’ve pretty much tossed the “don’t put a hem at your widest part” rule out the window. My widest part is definitely my hips, but I like how I look best with shirts that hit right at my hip bones in that middle area. Longer shirts are okay, but I get really uncomfortable with shirts that are shorter!
I don’t know how I escaped the mullet, especially since my mom cut my hair when me and my sister were little!
I adored this color red, it looks great on you and very summer. I’ve stopped wearing shorts as frequently quite recently. I used to live in cutoffs on the weekends. I have gained weight and my legs aren’t as toned so that’s part of it. Another part is my age (now 50). I have older looking legs/knees now including spider veins. Yet another reason is the heat. A dress, if it’s the right dress (must be loose), is much more comfortable in the heat than having fabric between my thighs. In the past year I’ve also embraced linen so have a collection now. My favorite is a button up cap sleeved black linen with white buttons. I leave a few buttons undone at the top and the bottom and then it looks very summery even though it’s a midi length. It looks great with a straw hat or bag and sunnies. I also like that I feel very confident when I run into someone. I love most of my dresses and feel most like myself and pulled together in my dresses.
I do have a few pairs of wear out shorts as I do need some short options for my climate and the relaxed Hawaii lifestyle (sometimes a dress is too much, like for a bbq house or beach park party during the day). I have the Florence by Elizabeth Suzanne in silk and a paperbag waist with a belt by Joie in linen (bought recently from Neiman). I also have a linen romper in a mustard color by a local designer that is very reminiscent of Black Crane. The Florence is a bit tighter around the tummy than I expected but I kept it anyway. It’s not uncomfortable, just unflattering so I wear it with a longer top to cover that bit up. I do prefer a slightly longer length of shorts now.
And the arms, OMG. I hate my arms. Sometimes a spaghetti strap dress will look great from the front and then I check out the side or back and it can’t be unseen – doughy with old elbows (who knew, knees and elbows are the window to a woman’s age). That said, it’s hot so staying cool wins over vanity.