James Perse casual tee
Miranda Bennett paper bag skirt (purchased partially with credits via Garmentory) | peach-y color at No6 – black sold out
Kara midi tie-tote
On the reader survey, a few of you asked for more “date night” outfits. I’ve been including some on Instagram, here’s another recent one:
Although I joke that we don’t do date night (seems like something people with kids do…), we just do “dinner.”
Anyway, we were out Sunday night for dinner during the “golden hour” (the perfect time to take photographs) and walking to get gelato, and I asked my husband to take a quick outfit photo for me. I NEVER do this. And here’s why:
First, he joked, sort of, and asked if I was going to change first. Haha. (I’ve mentioned before here that my husband doesn’t like anything I wear. ANYTHING)
Then, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to use my iPhone (he dislikes Apple products), and finally, most of the photos end up with my making frustrated faces trying to get him to take the right angle, etc. But thankfully I ended up with a couple of good ones.
Ah well. I didn’t marry him to be my photographer 🙂
On to the outfit – you’ll see I got my Miranda Bennett skirt back after sending it to them to “fix” the problem I had with the elastic in the waistband twisting and folding. Their initial thought was that they accidentally sent me one of their first run pieces that hadn’t been perfected yet, but it turns out that wasn’t the case. They offered to stitch the waistband down in a couple of places anyway, to secure it better, and sent the skirt back.
I can see that the waistband has been lightly stitched down at another location, but the elastic inside still folds and twists. It’s not as disruptive as before, though, and I can always get it back flat, which is good, but it still doesn’t feel like a permanent fix. I’ll give it time though, and will perhaps take it to my tailor and see what she can do. Ultimately, it’s better than it was at first, and I’m glad to have the skirt back so I can wear it, and I appreciate that Miranda Bennett tried to make it right for me.
That is both the benefit and the cost of ordering from smaller designers online only : you get wonderful personal service if you have a problem (hopefully), but you also risk not getting exactly what you want, or a perfect fit, as a result of buying online without being able to try it on first in person.
I’m willing to take the risk though, to support smaller designers, but I do wish there was more information/feedback online about a wider range of designers. I try to do my part as much as I can, buying and reviewing items from smaller designers, but I’m only just one person…just another reason to try and get that message board/forum up I guess 🙂
Just curious, what clothing does your husband like? I guess I have never really asked my husband’s opinion of my clothes and maybe I wouldn’t want to hear it! I think your outfit is totally appropriate for a dinner.
Grechen Reiter says
i can’t quite figure it what my husband likes honestly, and i’ve never really asked him either. he’s just not shy about making comments about when he doesn’t like something! which to be fair, a lot of people (men) wouldn’t like a lot of the things I wear. I think generally they prefer what is more traditionally flattering.
he did really like my outfit with the elizabeth suzann florence pants and everlane tank top, but not the same pants with a long sleeve james perse t-shirt, for example.
i don’t let it bother me as much as it used to, although it’s a little frustrating now and then, when i think i look damn good 😉
Monica P says
Ah, yes .. I have the same non-photographer husband. When I ask him to take photo’s I get the “work it babe” commentary that annoys me so that I’m in a sour mood. It’s why I take my own photo’s, but the down side is the boring background.
Love the gray top + skirt !
Monica P´s last blog post ..2016 Goals 1st Quarter Update
Date night? It was like supermarket morning. Sorry, but your husband was right. You should have changing clothes. I’d see better clothes here, and I think your husband deserves better.
Haha! As if we only dress…or EVER dress…just to please a man! I’m sorry for making assumptions, Rosi, but I am guessing you are older and/or from another culture where a woman being subservient to a man is the norm. But this is 2016, and feminism and women’s education have broken the patriarchal culture barrier. My husband and I have been married for almost 34 years and we see each other as a team of equals. I’m guessing that Grechen and Leo do, too. My husband isn’t defined by what I wear, anymore than I am. Sometimes he likes it (such as when I wear a sloppy “huggy” sweatshirt with jeans) and sometimes he doesn’t. My inside is what makes me ME. My outside is just the “set decoration” for this movie called LIFE.
I wasn’t going to comment on this, but the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I fully understand that by running a fashion blog, Grechen opens herself up to criticism and even some degree of insulting and snark over her outfit choices. I also feel that, on the flip side, she should benefit from the support of those who choose to frequent this blog and in that small capacity insert ourselves into these facets of her daily life.
I’ve been very impressed by the openness to contradicting viewpoints here, and I enjoy that not all of the responses are the fawning ones you see on some blogs. I didn’t object to the question regarding Grechen’s acquisition principles on the post prior to this one or to the comment expressing displeasure over the collection showcased in the post following this one; they seemed more interested in promoting a valid discussion than in simply insulting Grechen’s style, taste, or values. I was quite appreciative of Grechen’s thoughtful responses to both. This comment, however, does little to promote any type of dialog. I hope I’m wrong, but it comes across as solely intending to be hurtful.
Grechen made it clear that her outfit choices are made more with a “going out to dinner” mindset than a specific special-occasion “date night” one. She doesn’t mention where they went on this particular occasion, but just speaking as someone who lives in the same area, her outfit is quite a bit more “dressed up” than a lot of what I see here in a range of restaurants, where shorts and flip-flops are the norm in most locations once the weather starts warming up (and I assure you, it already has). Perhaps the spouses of these shorts-and-flip-flop-wearing diners don’t deserve any better. Perhaps they do and it’s all just very unfair to them. She doesn’t mention what her husband wore – perhaps we’d all gasp and shake our heads and insist that Grechen, too, deserves better. Or maybe we’d snicker that she clearly “married up.”
But I hope not. I hope we can all accept that people are complex and embody so much more than an outfit they chose for one particular occasion, and that relationships are even more complex and can’t be critiqued based on a few snapshots on a night out. I hope we can smile at the knowledge that Grechen’s husband doesn’t always like her outfits but Grechen herself generally does, and that despite this – or, heaven forbid, maybe to some degree because of it? – they can be happy together and feel comfortable sharing these feelings with each other. I hope we can appreciate that “date night” outfits don’t have to be frilly or sexy or overdone, but can instead fit into real life in a way that maybe some of us can find a little easier to relate to than the typical “bloggy” date ensembles.
There’s certainly plenty of fodder for discussion here, from the outfit proportions to the styling choices to the disconnect between the more idealistic “let’s have a date night” versus the more realistic “how about we eat out tonight?” and how that reflects in one’s clothing. Unfortunately, I don’t think you were looking for any of that with your comment. And to me, that’s all very sad.
Grechen Reiter says
thank you for this alison. i ignored the comment because i too, felt like it was meant to just be snark – one of those in and out comments that trolls leave to see what they can stir up. it had to be approved manually because it came from someone who is NOT a regular commenter, and honestly, i almost didn’t approve it, because i didn’t see the value in it, but it’s very rare for me to not approve a comment unless it’s obviously spam.
BUT, i love your thoughtful response to it 🙂 and the conversation around it . as i mentioned in the post, we just “have dinner” and this was just my going out to dinner outfit. when we went out for valentine’s day, or when we have a birthday dinner or something else “special”, i would wear something different, and perhaps something i know my husband may like better, and that is a little more ‘fancy’.
and indeed for “dinner” we were surrounded by yoga pants, shorts & flip flops, even in the rather “upscale” area we were in. my husband wore a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, with slip-in shoes, and i think we looked quite “matched” in terms of our “style”. but none of that matters anyway, because we are each free to wear whatever we want, even yoga pants LOL
Grechen Reiter says
set decoration for this movie called life. love it 😉
Love you! XOX
Wonderful, thoughtful response, Alison!
The outfit has a cinched waist and is relatively low cut. I think my husband of 39 years would be very happy to either show me off or keep me in for the night, lol. Different def’n of sexy I guess!
Love this response! (and more so, that outfit Grechen wore is totally something I’d wear if I went to dinner with my husband, except not with a tucked in shirt) I’m just not a “skinny jeans and heels” kind of woman. Not to diss ANYONE’s choices. They just aren’t mine. And my life is far more interesting for that variety 🙂
Grechen Reiter says
haha kathryn 🙂
Christine M says
The best conversations always happen when I’ve been away for awhile. Bravo, Alison – that was so nicely put. It’s amusing to imagine myself sashaying into our favorite Friday night burger-and-beer bar wearing stilettos and a slinky little dress. Ha!
Most of our “dates” are at places like that. We do go to special restaurants sometimes – they tend to be funky-arty rather than fancy, and for those, I have a little fun wearing some more-fashiony things that don’t get a lot of use on workdays. Still, they wouldn’t be considered conventionally sexy. Most days I’m in my ordinary, hopefully stylish, “me” clothes. And I’m pretty sure my husband loves me for it. For anyone who thinks this isn’t possible, or just wants some reassurance, I highly recommend looking up the song “Everyday Clothes” by the wonderful Jonathan Richman. In fact, here you go
Grechen Reiter says
that is brilliant! thank you so much for sharing 😉
and your comment, of course.
Christine M says
My pleasure 🙂
I am not a troller, and I think that the man that I live with, that I love, that is father of my daughter, when he invites me to dinner, or eat outside, or whatever, I try to look good because of me. He is my partner, my love, my friend. I do not use make-up, I do not use polish, but I dont’t get out with my friends without “put me up”. For myself, for theirs, for him. I always try to look good. I am a poor woman, I do not afford de type of clothes you buy, Gretchen. But I give my best to honour my friends and my husband, and my daughter. I follow your blog there are years. And I am very disappointed. You and your friends think I ofended you. No, I didn’t. You were inspiration for me. Not anymore. Thank you. You don’t tolerate when somebody don’t like the way you dress. God bless you, so long.
And I do not have ANY scarpin.
Why would dressing to please someone you love be subservient? Making someone else happy can be an empowering action.
Marina, I don’t object to the idea of doing something my husband of 34 yrs likes that I don’t care for, such as seeing a movie he chooses or eating at his favorite steakhouse. He does the same for me. We want EACH OTHER to be happy. But I didn’t get that sense at all from Rosi’s post. It was demeaning: “he [your husband] deserves better.” That isn’t indicative of a relationship of equals, but rather of subservience. I’m all for giving and loving generously, but not out of a sense of obligation.
Subservience? Are you crazy women? Honor, respect, that’s de question. My husband never looks like go to supermarket when he goes out with me. Why shouldn’t I have the same care with him? It’s a matter of respect. Respect who you love, respect your life partner. She dresses up better than this to post everyday and has de courage to dress like this to a date night? This is a fashion blog. She tell us what to buy, she is payed to tell us what to buy, give me a break. Subservience is the relation YOU women have with her.
Grechen Reiter says
this is ridiculous; i think this “conversation” has run it’s course and degraded to the point of no return. rosi, your opinion isn’t influencing anyone, and clearly mine isn’t influencing yours, and that’s fine, that’s not my job, or intention. i have respect for how everyone chooses to dress, whether i “agree” with it or not. i dress how i want, when i want, and post it here. done, and done. if you don’t like it, please feel free to not read my blog anymore.