Kit & Ace Mulberry pants
Everlane cropped cashmere sweater | size small
James Perse fleece bomber jacket | a little more than a year old
Vince perforated sneakers | couple years old
Kara small dry bag
To be honest, this outfit was rather scary. I felt exposed: my hips, the “extra” bits that stick out if I’m not wearing spanx, and my saddlebags on full view. There was no way to hide them in this outfit, save keeping my arm or bag stuck up tight against my right hip, something I’m quite adept at (see evidence above and below).
It was so scary, actually, that I didn’t wear it. I love these pants so much, and wore them quite a bit in warmer weather with a shirt tucked in, nothing over, and felt great. Now, though, not so much. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m feeling squishy after the holidays. I didn’t stop exercising, but I was rather lenient on my sugar/wheat/corn intake from Thanksgiving through New Year’s, and as a result I’m feeling sluggish and heavy.
So even though I was on my way out the door wearing this cropped jacket, at the last minute I exchanged it for my Everlane cardigan, which is long, and REALLY big on me. Instantly, I felt a sigh of relief; I was comfortable then – me – but also, completely covered up and hidden from view. Is that what I wanted really? Did I subconsciously want to disappear? To go unnoticed?
I don’t know. I don’t think so. But there it is. There was nothing wrong with this outfit. In fact, it’s quite a bit more flattering on me than what I ended up wearing. It was warm, and ridiculously comfortable, and I loved the look of the super-high waist.
I felt better covered up in this instance. Of course, the other day, in my James Perse hooded dress, I was absolutely NOT covered up (but, I was wearing Spanx, which always makes me feel more secure), and felt great. What a difference the day makes…
Just some (too) deep thoughts for Monday morning…
I have outrageous saddle bags and in fact, the Everlane dress I ordered with the pockets? No bueno! Those pockets are pulling so much they are wide open. But here’s the thing. I NEVER wear spanx or stuff like that. I hate the way they feel and they NEVER work. I just gave up and at 52 I just let it all hang out. I encourage you to do the same, you will love the freedom!
Grechen Reiter says
i try!!! i try so hard…but i just can’t do it yet. i just FEEL better when i’m sucked in, most of the time, except when it’s very hot, then i don’t give a damn. someday, i will be able to let it go i guess..
There is nothing wrong with the outfit, but you stated very clearly that you were not feeling comfortable and no matter what, THAT would have ruined the outfit for you. Feeling secure and “yourself” is key to projecting confidence. If it is Spanx or a diet cleanse that does the job, go for it. You will not be invisible because people will notice your confident energy.
I really like the cropped jacket on you. Maybe you’ll give it another go in a couple of days.
It’s strange. I thought about ordering Spanx a couple of times, mostly out of curiosity as to what they can do, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. For some reason, it feels like rejecting my body and I feel bad about it. I honestly don’t know why I draw the line at Spanx. I mean, I don’t mind wearing heels every once in while and I certainly wear bras… 😉
Grechen Reiter says
you’re absolutely right. i know when i’m not feeling my best i just want to be covered up. but then again, even if i’m not feeling my best, i can put on something i KNOW is amazing on me (a JP dress) and feel better. it’s weird, no? i think i just need to stop trying to figure everything out LOL
Grechen Reiter says
i love spanx 😉 i understand what you’re saying though. i just like they way the smooth out some of the little bumps on my hips/saddlebags so that i can “tolerate” them better. i also feel better when i wear spanx with some of my dresses – more pulled together. literally. i just really like things to be TIGHT and compressive on my bottom half – to really hold me in. unless i don’t LOL – there’s a fine line!
and i really love this jacket also, it’s just that idea of leaving my hips/saddlebags exposed that gets me…
oy. body image issues…
Christine M says
Another dedicated non-wearer of Spanx, here. I prefer breathing.
Still, I hear what you’re saying about this outfit. I don’t see a problem with it on you, but I think three cropped pieces might be a bit much. For me, I’d prefer one piece with a longer proportion – like that cardigan – to balance things out, Otherwise I feel too cut in half.
Grechen Reiter says
lol i don’t wear my spanx so tight i can’t breathe…it just feels like i’m wearing my favorite exercise leggings underneath 🙂
yes, in theory that makes sense – that there’s one too many cropped pieces in here, but i think what would have been better is a white top tucked in to the pants, with the jacket on top, to really appreciate the high-waist and show some definition. as it is, the blacks blend together and don’t provide enough contrast. and even a slightly longer jacket or drapy cardigan would have worked to help me “feel” better. but i don’t have any that don’t hit around mid-thigh or lower.
Theoretically, I’d say “Let it all hang out!” like Zanna. But in my heart, I know that I’d go with what I’m comfortable with. And what’s wrong with that? Every day doesn’t have to scare us, in spite of what Eleanor Roosevelt said!
You might have been conflicted about posting this outfit, but I’m glad you did. For whatever reason, your post resonated with me, and prompted me to do something I haven’t done in about four years now – leave the house without wearing Spanx.
I don’t usually go for the typical Spanx shapers (though on occasion, they are nice!). I am, however, addicted to the tanks from their men’s line. I’m rather large-busted, to say the least (32G, though honestly a 30H would be better if it were only easier to find!), but very narrow through the back and with tiny shoulders. I discovered the men’s shaping tanks when they first came out, simply because it was an intriguing alternative to the women’s options (most of which boast about not compressing the bustline), and I was immediately hooked on the feeling of support I got from them. Unfortunately, the more I wore them, the more I also noticed the bulges and flabby areas that seemed way too apparent when I didn’t have one on. Now that’s all I see, so I find myself not going out without strapping down first.
I’m not sure why, but something about your outfit let me… I don’t know, exhale, perhaps. You look good. Sure, when analyzing photos, the proportions aren’t perfect. I agree that there isn’t quite the definition there ought to be between the top and the jacket. But without getting so picky, if I just ran into you at a store or restaurant somewhere, I wouldn’t be thinking about that. I’d be thinking that the outfit is cute, and you look good in it, and that would be the end of it. And something about that thought process meant that I could see your post yesterday, sigh with relief, and run errands without changing into Spanx first. I could go out without feeling panic that everyone would be staring at my bulges.
So thank you. I know this particular outfit was a difficult one for you, but I appreciate it. Sometimes it’s the strangest things that resonate with us.
Grechen Reiter says
thank you thank you thank you for your comment! something you said made me stop for a second – “Unfortunately, the more I wore them, the more I also noticed the bulges and flabby areas that seemed way too apparent when I didn’t have one on. Now that’s all I see, so I find myself not going out without strapping down first” – SO TRUE. and i never really thought about it like that. but i do think now i’ve gotten used to seeing the “streamlined” version of myself so that anytime i see the “real” me, i’m shocked!
i’m going to try it – TRY to leave the house without “strapping” down, as you say (love it!) more often. i can’t guarantee it will actually happen – i may not be able to do it, but i will try.
thank you so much for sharing, and now inspiring me to do the same 🙂