Storq daily tank
Black Crane linen culottes | large
(sold out, but I linked to other colors and styles of BC pants)
omg, he looks like such a big boy here…
I miss our walks with my mother in Arkansas so much.
I am a wreck today. The well from which I draw has run dry, but I keep having to try and pull from it.
I’m also due for my period and I usually get some relief when I finally get it. I’ve been tracking migraines, nausea, body aches and anxiety for a couple months and it’s interesting to see when during my cycle those things pop up. Yesterday I had nausea and a migraine, today just nausea and a whole lot of anxiety/emotional instability. I already cried today and it’s 11 AM.
Being a mom is next-level hard. I had no idea. Being home all day with him, and his primary source of entertainment and education is extra-hard. I’m probably not even doing it right. I just try to keep him busy and happy while he’s awake. Every once in a while I’ll look up age-appropriate activities I hadn’t thought of and try some things. And yes, there is screen time most days, usually after five. That is when I hit the wall.
Actually most of the day I have some live stream from explore.org on the tv (we love the bears in Katmai), or the birdfeeders at cornell. Also the BBC has oceanscapes on you tube that he absolutely ADORES; the coral reef is his favorite, he interacts and talks to the fish and seahorses. When I need him to chill out for a minute, I’ll put on Piper from Disney+ or sesame street, although he’s not much interested in sesame street yet. Oh and there’s Raffi. A LOT OF Raffi….
So, yeah, I’m not perfect, and I never thought I’d be a mom who would put something on the TV, but you know…life happens. I hope I’m not scaring him too badly. I always interact with him if he’s watching and talk to him about what he sees, so I feel like it’s not as bad as it could be?
Today is one of those days I just have to get through I think. Not sure how much more I have in me…
I hope you are well!!! Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
You’ve got it. Just keep swimming 🙂 Hawk looks like the happiest baby so don’t worry about the little stuff.
Oh Grechen, you are doing GREAT…it’s hard because it IS hard and especially so with the crazy world these days. All your baby boy knows is how much you love him. It’s important for you to take care of yourself…he’ll be fine if he has screen time. Trust me…Trust yourself.Love to you.
I don’t know anything about parenting except -GenX here, survived and thrived through laissez-faire parenting. I do know if you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot be there for others. Do what you need to do!
We finally started our birding class on Great Courses – I’ve wanted to learn more for years (want to go on birding trips at some point) You and your mom inspired me here 🙂
Grechen Reiter says
That’s so exciting Kelly! I love that 🙂
I guess we did take hawk light birding in Arkansas but we’re also taking him to high island for my birthday this year for a little duck and shorebird birding lol. As much as you can do that with a one year old!!
Katherine Nannes says
I have been read and enjoyed your blog for years and I don’t usually comment….but felt compelled to after reading this entry. I promise that you are doing an *amazing* job as a mom! I totally understand how you feel…..my kids are 5 and 3 and I feel like I’m failing every day. The current situation with COVID-19 obviously makes it so much harder and we are all just doing the best we can! You’re obviously an incredibly involved and loving mom so don’t beat yourself up! I know how isolating it can be but things will get better. Hang in there. Sending love from Maryland!
Give yourself some grace. If you’re worried about it… it means you’re doing a good job.
Grechen, you’re going to have good days and bad days as a mom – or as anything, really. Accept it, forgive yourself, cry and move on. Hawk isn’t even one yet, so I guarantee he’s not missing out on his education. TV meant a few minutes of grace-time for me, so you’re darned right I used it! What you’re showing him is good stuff – we should ALL be watching nature programs.
Rebecca Larson says
Hang in there. I’m your age and a grandma now as I had my kids early ( too early). I made my mistakes too and my kids (4) have turned out to be wonderful, intelligent and productive adults. It does get better! I love following your stories and admire your honesty (and fashion-sense).
I love that you are watching informational youtube videos with Hawk. I do the same with my grandson. One good thing that has come from this pandemic is the number of online offerings from museums, zoos and aquariums.
Keep looking on the bright side!
The best thing a friend ever said to me after I had my baby was “you don’t have to enjoy every minute” and that was so freeing! Parenting is wonderful, but it is also hard. There’s a lot of unspoken expectations/pressures related to being a mom, and one of them is that you’re supposed to always love every second of it and it should be easy and natural.
You are loving and caring for your son and that is so clear. Thank you for being honest about the challenges and frustrations of parenthood.