what a difference a year makes. I can’t even believe it.
He was very serious this morning digging in the dirt haha.
He looks upset in a lot of photos, but he’s really just thoughtful and quiet; observing everything. Sort of like his mom 😉
I’m going to have to write this in phases because Hawk is already awake from his nap, but he turned one on Saturday, and while it wasn’t the celebration I expected, or wanted, it was a fun day. We facetimed with family all day, opening presents and eating “cake.” It’s in quotes because I didn’t make him a traditional moist smash cake, I made vegan no-sugar-added cupcakes with coconut cream frosting and they were…….okay. Haha. They were pretty dense, so he couldn’t smash into them and eat bites by the handful. He did put a big chunk in his mouth and had a pretty hard time working it out. Sigh. Anyway, he thought they tasted pretty good.
I was feeling so anxious, overwhelmed, sad – all the feelings the day before his birthday. Which is probably normal, but It made me very upset nevertheless. The night before I even had terrible sciatica pain, which reminded me of the hours I was in the hospital for him and the back/sciatica pain I suffered even with the epidural. Weird.
In the scheme of things, not having a big family celebration (with family actually IN THE SAME HOUSE) for his first birthday isn’t the end of the world, and I am not good planning big celebrations anyway, but still. Parenting during a pandemic is fucking hard. Even more so when you’re not close enough to drive to see family.
Which leads me to my news – or whatever I alluded to a while ago that you probably forgot about LOL: we have made it a financial goal to move back to the Atlanta area and buy a house by next summer. All of our close family lives there or within driving distance, and you may remember we lived there up until 2010 when we moved to Texas. WOW, I did not realize we’d been here ten years. WHOA.
I don’t love it here, and I’ve been pretty vocal about it, but I resigned myself to it because of Leo’s work and prospects in Texas. But now that we have Hawk, we both realize how important it is for him to grow up near his family, grandparents especially. And it’s REALLY REALLY REALLY important to me to be closer to my parents. I don’t know how people raise children far away from family, I really don’t.
Anyway, that’s that for now – I’ll try to get back to posting 3x this week.
How are you? Anyone buy anything from the Nordstrom anniversary sale? We bought a smaller/lighter stroller for Hawk and a Patagonia jacket that I quickly found for $10 cheaper somewhere else, so that is going back LOL