1st outfit:
James Perse sweatpants
Park Vogel built-in-bra cami | n/a, very old
CP Shades Carine shirt | a couple of years old, white linen version at Evie Lou
2nd outfit:
!iT Collective skinny jeans (gift from the designer)
James Perse linen top
Melissa Sin Plastic Sandals (newer version in gray at Shopbop)
I took these pictures a week or so ago when I was playing around in/purging my closet. I kept everything you see here, but the “will I wear it” question is one I am still struggling with.
As you know, I’ve been exploring a more minimalist lifestyle/closet lately, and have read a lot on the subject. I’m still learning, and feeling my way through it, with the understanding that there IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO DO THIS, nor is one person’s minimal lifestyle the same as another’s. Starting next week, I’m going to publish an “essay” a week on things I’ve learned, and what I’ve done as part of my “The Minimal Closet” series, but first, I want to explore some questions I’ve been asking myself. Maybe you have some thoughts on them?
1. Will I Wear it?
As I mentioned above, the “will I wear it” question haunts me. I decided to keep the plaid CP Shades shirt I wore in the first outfit, even though I haven’t worn it often. If it was white, I know I would wear it MUCH more often. But it’s not. I do love that it’s lightweight, and longer, and easy to wear, but generally it’s not something I wear often (I got it because it was on sale for about $30, which is a STEAL).
I like the outfit above, with the top over a gray cami and with black sweatpants, but it’s definitely not something I’d wear or put on without thinking (I’d default to a white cami and gray cardigan instead). But I took it with us to the beach last weekend and wore it tied at the waist over my strapless James Perse dress when we went to dinner, and then again in the morning over my bathing suit as I sat near the water drinking my coffee. In both situations it was perfect, because it gave me a little coverage without being too warm, and since it’s so lightweight, it dealt with the wind very well. The cotton holds up nicely, and it doesn’t matter how wrinkled it gets, because it’s supposed to look a little disheveled.
Also, I’m not overly concerned about it because I didn’t spend a lot of money on it. Not that I don’t take care of ALL of my clothes, but I don’t feel the need to baby it either.
So…I’m very glad I kept it, and have it for such situations; I just need to remember that I have it, and that it will come in handy on occasion. That’s a little easier to do now that my closet has been pared down, but still, something I know I will struggle with.
With regard to the second outfit, I really like the jeans, but don’t wear them because they’re too long. In the picture I have them rolled under so the hem comes JUST above my ankle, which I think is the most flattering length for me. I would wear them more often if they were hemmed shorter, instead of rolled under, just because I wouldn’t have to THINK about it so much. So, off to the tailor I go.
2. If it was only…
I said above that if that shirt was only white, I know I’d wear it much more often, not just at the beach. My strategy with regard to this now is to use that knowledge to seek out a white shirt that will be a good replacement for this one, AND THEN REPLACE IT – I do not need to keep both shirts if I find a similar one that is white. (I’m actually thinking this new Everlane shirt will fit the bill. Has anyone tried this?)
3. Why am I NOT wearing this?
I definitely have to “get over” my idea that I need to baby my clothes, or not wear them because I’m concerned about ruining them, or having them to wear later. I do this ALL the time, and this is something I desperately want to get over. For example, the OAK dress that I love? I’ve only worn it one other time since I got it. I reach for it, but then I think I’m “wasting” a wear if I’m only going to run errands; I should save it for a more interesting occasion. I also don’t wear it if I’m just going to be at home working, because I hate to wear stuff at home that I also wear out – as I may have mentioned before, I have two pretty distinct wardrobes, even though I have an extremely casual lifestyle!
Ultimately, this is what I want to work on the most; this idea that even if I’m sitting in my own office at home, I can’t wear “real” clothes, or something that I would wear outside of the house if I was traveling to an office. (I do actually wear real clothes, dresses mostly, or “home” leggings – never my James Perse leggings!!). This, I think, is a more deeply seated emotional issue that stems from I don’t know what, but something I need to deal with.
If there’s one thing that disturbs me the most about my closet is that I have things in it that I don’t wear. I WANT to wear the things I have; I didn’t spend money on things and acquire things I truly love to just have them sit around not being worn. So as I see it, I either need to create situations every day where I do wear the things I love (even if I’m just sitting in my own office at home), or get rid of even more things so I really do only have things in my closet that I TRULY WEAR.
4. Is it really about quantity?
Jen made a comment the other day that the minimalist police weren’t going to come after me if I kept two nearly identical long black dresses instead of choose one to keep and getting rid of the other one, which REALLY Made me think.
I know there’s not one right way to be a minimalist, and honestly, I know that I can’t be a minimalist in the same way that other women are. I am a true fashion/style/shopping lover, and appreciate different silhouettes, shapes, textures, etc., which is why I will keep two nearly identical long black dresses. Because they ARE DIFFERENT enough.
This is where I differ strongly with many minimalist ideologues; you do not only need ONE BLACK DRESS. If you are a person who wants simple without regard to “fashion” or expressing your personal style, then yes, one black dress will probably suit you fine. Otherwise, you will need a long black sleeveless maxi dress with no embellishment at all, a long black sleeveless maxi dress with a tie-waist or at least a defined waist, a knee-length black t-shirt dress, a black sweatshirt dress, a knee-length sleeveless shift dress, a black oversized mid-length shirt dress…
See what I mean? I still think that’s minimal.
Having more than one black dress in exactly the same style is probably not necessary, but two won’t hurt you. Which gets me back to the Minimalist police.
First, they don’t exist 😉
Second, you will have reached your ideal minimal closet when you feel at peace with the items you have – not overwhelmed by them every time you open your closet doors. I am not there yet, but I desperately want to be…
I have many more thoughts, and as I mentioned above, I’ll do a post a week in this series exploring The Minimal Closet. However that looks.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What questions do you ask yourself when you decide what to keep? or what to buy? What are the issues you struggle with in terms of wearing/buying/keeping your clothes?
This is a question that I will/have been asking myself as I feel like I have too much stuff and need to par down, not just in my closet either but my whole place. I have the urge to just purge furniture too but I can’t picture living with so much empty space.
Just today I got rid of a Phillip Lim bag that I was so in love with at the time and I seriously splurged on it but I realized that as nice of a bag as it is, it doesn’t make my heart sing a happy tune whenever I carry it. I don’t want a closet full of mehs and it will do, I want things that put a smile on my face and I can’t wait to wear. So the questions I consider are how often do I wear it, does it even fit or look flattering on and/or do I love it and if I don’t love it can I sell it for a little extra cash. I recently got rid of some items and donated them to Fashion Project (raising money for charity and getting some Nordstrom gift cards in exchange was a good motivator), I have a thrift store pile going at the moment and if I ever find some time to just go through everything, I’ll have a pared down space which I would love. How did I become such a hoarder? 🙂
I am really looking forward to your essays, Grechen. Minimalism is a value that makes sense to me for a whole bunch of reasons, but I really struggle with my closet. I have a number of ‘favorite’ items that I have never worn, or have barely worn. This isn’t new for me…I can remember ‘saving’ my new clothes when I was a little girl, and my mom warning me that if I grew out of them, my cousins would get them and they would be wrecked in a day. LOL. I have worked hard to pair down my shoe collection (shoe fetish), but still wear my worst Birkenstocks every day! I wear my beat up H&M chinos at least three times a week while my three favorite ‘good’ pants stay hanging in the closet. Part of it may be that I work from home right now, but I anticipate that I will have an office job next year at this time. I may decide I need to get rid of the things I am wearing every single day so that I force myself to wear the items I love. Part of what I love about travel is that I take a small amount of special things and actually wear them. I’d like to translate that into my every day life a little more efficiently. Can’t wait to hear how it unfolds for you.
Thanks for the quote! 😉
Bottom line about all of this is–do what will help you feel good, not what others say you “should’ do. If having lots of clothes feels good to you, then do it, if sticking to a uniform feels good to you, then do it. Like you said, if you feel at peace with what you have, then it’s “minimal” enough!
Now that you mention it, Christina, I do the same thing and plan for and choose “special” items to wear each day, with accessories.
I was taught that you wore your “good” clothes to school and church, but you changed out of them into “play” clothes as soon as you got home! (And washed your hands!)
I agree with you and Jen, this isn’t about “shoulds”! Someone that I respect told me that only doing something because you feel you should isn’t healthy. So I’m going to try and incorporate that into my wardrobe pare-down.
I fear that I’ve become a wardrobe hoarder, too, fshnonmymind! I think it’s so easy for us to buy into the idea that we have to purchase the next great thing. And the problem is, there’s ALWAYS a “next great thing.” So, right now, I have no firm criteria for what I purchase. It’s totally based on what I want, not “Do I need it to complete my wardrobe?” or, most critically, “Can I afford it?” Lots of work to be done…
hi, I love your sandals….I’m looking for a sandal comfortable as my birks , with a little more polish. How do you like your black sandals?
the ones i’m wearing? i love them to death, but they’re NOT as comfortable as my birkenstocks, or my mephisto helen sandals. they’re not uncomfortable, and i wear them a lot, but for walking or strolling around town, i wear something else…
i love my rag & bone quinn sandals; they are very comfortable and great for walking – still never as comfortable as birks, but definitely a more polished sandal.
um…i feel the SAME WAY about travel. i like to use it as an opportunity to wear all the “special” stuff i don’t wear everyday at home. which is probably packing becomes so overwhelming for me at times!!!
why do we do that????
it’s so interesting that i do not “hoard” anything like i hoard clothes/shoes/bags. our home is very minimal, because we haven’t made a long-term “home” yet, and we haven’t spent much on furniture, decorations, etc., which actually turns out wonderfully, and just the way we like it. i DO NOT like clutter AT ALL. i’m constantly going around putting things back in their places.
it’s why, ultimately, i get so overwhelmed by my closet, because there’s TOO MUCH IN THERE, and too much that i don’t use/wear. no where else in the house do i have things i don’t use, so why my closet? i know it’s definitely an emotional/psychological/body image/etc., issue that has led me to “collecting” clothes/bags/shoes, because all of that has to do with my personal appearance .
that’s the hardest thing to get over sometimes though, the voice in your head that’s telling you what you “should” be doing (or not doing). especially as you get older and realize that according to society/or your younger self, you SHOULD have kids, a mortgage, a retirement plan, a steady job…..and you don’t – or i don’t anyway 😉 two out of four of those things i don’t want anyway…but that doesn’t mean i don’t feel the artificial pressure of “others” on me to have them…
Damn! There we go again with the “twin daughters from different mothers” thing. I’m that way with my house, too. Minimal, and more minimal. No tschotskes for me!
I think you’re right about the clothes shopping reflecting insecurities about our body image and our wish to “perfect” it with the “right” clothes…whatever they might be.
A therapist friend of mine says “Awareness is the first step to change!”
Exactly. I think the issue is only how what you have makes you feel. I find I have a fairly sparse closet, but also a fair number of clothes I don’t wear often, bought during the time I was working and needed a different wardrobe. I’m waiting to see what I decide to keep, and what I might get rid of. Luckily those clothes are mostly pieces that would be pretty much fun to resell:).
I’ve been grappling with paring down my closet. Thank you for your pointers regarding taking a look at my own reality before beginning. Do you have any specific ideas for letting go of old shoes? Some of these shoes are just beautiful, but I discovered I can no longer comfortably walk in heels that high even for a dinner out. My husband has taken to calling me Imelda. Maybe she was right about shoes having more soul than sole!
haha! i don’t wear heels much either; they just don’t fit my lifestyle anymore. I’ve sold many on eBay and/or local consignment shops.
if your shoes are in relatively good shape, you can try and sell them on eBay – especially if they’re a desirable designer. you could also try online designer consignment like therealreal.com if they meet their designer qualifications.
if you don’t want to let go of them, you could display them – reader Deborah talked about doing that in a comment recently, and I’ve been toying with it as well – there’s no reason why we can’t still enjoy the beautiful things we have that we don’t necessarily want to WEAR!!
Great thoughts! I’m really enjoying your blog as all of this is so relevant to me as I evaluate my wardrobe.
I’m attending a few clothes swaps soon, and was startled by how much excess was in my closet still after I had *just* purged for donation the previous week. I thought I had nothing for the swap… and then I took a closer look and I probably more than 25 items ready to swap. It’s crazy that I own enough things that I can have that many overlooked items that could be edited out of my collection immediate after already paring down.
Anyway, I’m trying to take that knowledge with me to the swap and only take back items that really fit my needs and esthetic right now. Or at the very least, take what I get in the swap, really evaluate it against my closet, and donate the things that weren’t quite right for me right now.
I too lead a casual lifestyle and have to stop viewing some of my articles of clothing as too precious for wear…. it’s like you’re in my head!
I will definitely keep reading.
One way I am overcoming the struggle between “the nicer clothes” vs the “house bumming-errand running clothes” is that as I am purging I am creating a separate collection out of my “they were nicer, but are now more worn out” clothing as my new house/errand running collection.
These pieces I have moved to my dresser with the undies/bras and socks. That way I could most easily dump the saggy/baggy/no man would look at me crap. Now I have a nice secondary set of items to fill those needs. I am already seeing and feeling much more put together even for running to the post office.
Also I had 3 pairs of identical jeans that are booty fantastic, but rather than purge those 2 extra pairs I cut them into Bermuda length shorts that will look great this summer.
Re-purpose and re-investing with what I have.