Grab a coffee and sit for a minute 🙂
Andrea asked a question recently that I have a lot of experience with and thought it would be interesting to discuss further (read Andrea’s post and the comments there too, they’re very good, and quite different from my perspective):
Can you love styling and still subscribe to a minimal wardrobe?
Rather than write an essay in the comments section of her site, I wanted to bring my answer over here. Although it’s rather a short one: no.
I can’t, anyway.
You may recall the little series I did a couple years ago The Minimal Closet. Yes, I rode the wave of minimalism, capsule wardrobes, etc., etc., deeply exploring the emotional issues surrounding my clothing acquisitions, desire to purge, and learning to live with less. I DO live with less; I have a much smaller wardrobe now than I ever have before, but it is still not minimal by any stretch of the imagination. Of course “minimal” is entirely subjective…
I learned a lot from it, and am glad I tried to pare down, and went through my own exercises, but ultimately, my experiment with minimalism led only to reinforce the fact that I am not, in fact, a minimalist.
(random thoughts follow)
I also no longer believe that to choose “better” you MUST have “fewer” (sorry to steal Cuyana’s thunder). In other words, you can buy as you would normally, just choosing better if you have the means to do so. Of course we should not be wasteful, buying things we don’t need, or that are harmful to the environment & the people who create them, but having a large wardrobe full of things you love, wear, and take care of isn’t mutually exclusive with higher quality and “better” in terms of environmental/social responsibility. It’s just a nice catchphrase IMO.
I am an emotional dresser. I love to try new things, different styles, silhouettes I wouldn’t normally, just to see what will “stick.” I know this now, after trying so hard to change, and stick with a very small wardrobe. Now, instead of indulging in fast fashion to try new things, I choose from independent, more responsible designers, but I do end up buying quite a bit, to play with. And I have come to terms with the fact that THAT IS OKAY.
My reality is such that I can afford (mostly) to play around with style if I want to (I am 43, self-employed and live a very casual lifestyle with no children) and any attempts to constrain myself in that regard always end up backfiring.
Perhaps if this (writing this blog) wasn’t my job/career/LIFE, then I wouldn’t buy and try so much, but I doubt that. I only started doing this a million years (actually only 12…) ago BECAUSE of my passion for style, styling, and working out a wardrobe. I also LOVE TO SHARE and talk about style/fashion/etc. with people who I identify with. With you.
YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY. All my life I’ve been fighting with the voices in my head telling me what I can and can’t wear for my body type: You’re short, you have to wear heels, long pants with a slight flare, and since you have a small waist, accentuate it! Oh, and DEFINITELY don’t cuff your pants, or wear sleeveless tops because your arms are flabby. Maybe now I’m overcompensating a bit and going too far into unflattering territory, but I don’t care, I’m having fun.
The problem with trying so much is that I may like something very much at first, but over time realize it doesn’t really “fit” me, and I no longer want it in my wardrobe. It’s often hard to tell until you get it and wear it though, what will fit and what won’t. Again, I don’t feel bad for trying things and then selling them or giving them away if they don’t ultimately work out; it’s an investment I’m willing to make – and CAN make – within reason.
I’m tired of feeling guilty for enjoying clothes. I DO ENJOY them. A lot. I always have. I love the way my clothes make me feel, and I love the way I look in them. I love to discover new designers, and try interesting silhouettes. I am excited to support small, independent designers, and I get a thrill sharing them with you.
As I’ve always said, even during my minimal closet journey, minimalism isn’t the answer. Having fewer things for the sake of having fewer things ISN’T going to fix everything. Trying to fit yourself into a box you do NOT FIT INTO never works. Reading minimalist blogs and articles about capsule wardrobes always made me feel inadequate; like I was doing it wrong. Why didn’t I feel more “free” with only 33 items in my capsule wardrobe? Why did I hyperventilate every time I went to get dressed and only had 10 items to choose from? Was I missing something??
Turns out, it just wasn’t for me. Minimalism absolutely works for some people, and while I definitely appreciate having the smallest wardrobe I’ve ever had, having everything out now where I can see it instead of spread out in boxes and multiple closets, following rules and trying to be “minimalist” gave me anxiety.
Now I know. But it took me a long time to get here and a lot of experimentation with things that didn’t work. Don’t cheat yourself of that either, if you want to try a new path.
That is all we can do: try things, and see what sticks. There’s no one way to go through life.
I love this, Grechen. I think you perfectly summed up the trend that is minimalism — and it IS that, a trend, born I think from a certain set of privileged everybodys knowing without really “knowing” (if that makes sense) that we have too much, are wasteful etc, and struggling to make some sort of meaningful change that will lessen the guilt of our privileged circumstance.
You, more than any other blogger/writer/etc, have inspired me to quit fast fashion. I do a lot of secondhand buying, but I’m buying ethically made new things now as well. It’s such a good feeling to support real people making real clothing. I, like you, just LOVE clothes. I just do. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. And short of giving up our consumerist lives to go be full-time activists or aid workers, what we CAN do–what is feasible for ALL of us– is making better choices with the choices we have to make. I love that you talk about making those choices with clothes. You are an inspiration!
I don’t know what to say other than that you nailed it with this post – you so read my mind’s thoughts on why minimalism won’t work entirely for me. I need enough clothes to only need to do laundry every two weeks or I will get insanely stressed out.
The articles on purging to go towards minimalism have showed me though that I should get rid of items I don’t think I’ll ever wear again, which was a great learning experience. The realistic packing as a minimalist lists are great so I don’t overpack because I used to always err on the side of way overpacking. Some might call my wardrobe minimalist and others might say I have a lot of clothes, but it works for me in its current form and that’s what counts.
I’m also learning that it’s okay to love clothes! Thank you for helping me in that process.
Can I just say yaaaaaas to this post, lol. You’re so right about this and it’s all about finding what is “enough” for each of ourselves. I’m still learning this myself 🙂
I really enjoyed reading your perspective on this. I personally find that minimalism does work for me, though I have a lot of work left to do there. I don’t think its so much style vs. minimalism, but rather style while being mindful. And you are certainly mindful.
My signature *style* is definitely minimalist: uncluttered silhouettes, under-accessorizing, neutral palettes, quality fabrics. I enjoy putting together looks that look effortless and easy, yet clean and pulled together. And although I tend to gravitate toward actually wearing only 5 or 6 outfits per season – which is minimalist in *practice* – the number of items in my wardrobe far exceed what I need or actually wear.
that is where i have settled also susan. minimalist in palette, for sure, but not in closet 🙂
true, stacy. minimalism works for a lot of people, and that’s wonderful. i just tried too hard to make it work for me, and it was NEVER going to LOL
While I can see how capsules have really helped people (especially those who hadn’t done a ton of introspective work on what they liked to wear beforehand), I tend to want some middle ground (I tried a capsule and gave it up about a year ago: http://www.stylewise-blog.com/2015/10/why-i-quit-my-capsule-wardrobe.html). I run a thrift shop so I have constant access to really great quality, really inexpensive clothes and I frequently buy something, wear it for awhile, love it, and maybe eventually donate it back. I can’t justify trying to be more minimal when I’m doing no harm by playing around with my clothes. I can see how at some point shopping can become a real addiction, but I think being mindful and thoughtful about long term sustainability on both personal and public levels is what’s really key.
Dear Grechen-
what is your instagram account name? I can send you pics of the Everlane showroom in Soho and clothes that I tried on . I sent one to Grechen- it looked like you but Im not sure.
Best,
Gena
Yes! I got one message…can’t wait to see more.
Hi girl! I love your perspective! And I love that the dialogue sparked a blog post from you.
Did you read Michelle’s (Dr It Girl) comment on my blog? I think it actually describes your approach.
yes, brilliant. she says it so much more eloquently than i do 🙂
i loved that you brought this up though, because it’s a struggle i think, that we responsible/sustainable/ethical fashion bloggers deal with, and deserves to be talked about…not enough minimalist/capsule wardrobe bloggers talked about the hard parts and the struggles back in the day when i was reading some of them. i didn’t find that, anyway. that’s why you and stacy (boulevard house) are the only capsule wardrobe bloggers i read anymore…
Just yesterday I pinned a flowchart from one of my favorite bloggers, Into Mind. I’m sure you’ve seen her site, she blogs about capsule wardrobes and has a minimalist style (my style is very similar to hers). Her flowchart definitely directed some responses to a non-capsule/minimalist wardrobe so even she recognizes it’s not for everyone. Dare I say you are a minimalist based on your style? You like clean lines, neutral colors and no fussy embellishment/details. You definitely have a minimalist style. And I know that you know it was a description for art and design long before it became a lifestyle description. I find some members of the minimalist online community to be quite driven by parameters and rules. I think it’s fine to have guidelines for the sake of an experiment but at the end of the day it’s about living intentionally. Someone could have a minimal wardrobe but have tons of art. Another could be very frugal, live simply and rarely buy anything new but reuse/repurpose old items all the time (my parents are this way, their closets are bursting but I don’t remember the last time either one of them has bought anything new, my mom now goes in the pool in a groovy halter top I remember her wearing with jeans when I was a kid in the 70s). I think minimalism is a label that’s difficuly to define and we shouldn’t try to. I think trying to build the perfect capsule wardrobe can send some down the rabbit hole of purchasing/searching for the perfect multi use quality item (me included) and it will never be or remain perfect as our bodies change, our lives change and our style changes. Yes don’t feel guilty!
Minimalism seems to have gained popularity recently as a reaction to consumerism and particularly fast fashion. We’ve all felt innundated with things that we bought simply because we could afford but realized that the high of the purchase is too short and the long-term effects of buying and owning too much stuff are rather negative (clutter, landfills, anxiety, guilt, etc.). So being more aware is all that’s actually needed. Going to the extremes of minimalism will always be for very few (interesting few, but maybe only because they’re so different from the majority of us) while the rest of us have to find our own balance, which is always a big individual struggle, right?
Grechen hi-
I posted more pics of the showroom on Instagram for you having a hard time sending them to you there for some reason let me know if you saw them I tried to give you a NYC view
i see them! i love that outfit on you – what pants are you wearing? did you buy anything?
yes, such a struggle LOL – i wish it wasn’t so sometimes.
you’re right, it’s more about conscious shopping, which is what I’ve really always tried to advocate, more than minimalism.
my problem is that i am very conscious and aware of what/why i buy, and think LONG AND HARD about a purchase (sometimes too long and too hard) and can still make a mistake. i would love to be able to take out some of my emotion from shopping…wearing…
oh, yes, i’m definitely a minimalist in style, but that’s so different from being a “numerical” minimalist, if you will.
love everything you say, and agree completely . i think i always wished that i was could be that person – like your parents – who just wears things forever, but over the years, i’ve realized that i’m not that way. a few things i will always love and wear, but most others i want to cycle out every once in awhile – i need new & fresh & interesting. and THAT’s okay too. as long as i take care of the things i buy so they’ll be in excellent shape to resell, they will continue to have a long life, just not necessarily in my closet…
Ladies of the GCloset-
Oh my goodness, this blog post and all the comments has helped me realize how much of an emotional shopper I am. For example, every time I went to visit my mom when she was in a nursing home , I would buy a lipstick. Whenever it’s her birthday, my birthday (coming up) etc. or a holiday like Christmas, I shop . Retail therapy in it’s most literal sense. I’m only minimal in palette and style. I’ve always been drawn to a pretty tomboy esthetic. Marie Kondo’s book Spark Joy is excellent. I like it better than her first book. She says that tidying is facing yourself and she’s right. So now I’m facing myself with what makes me feel good and how to find joy in little things like decorating my closet door and putting essential oils in it to make everything smell wonderful. Thank you for all your thoughts and feelings…to be continued
Best,
Gena
I agree with this comment, Susan! There can be a BIG gap between the ideas of minimal ownership vs. minimal style. I am trying to opt for number one for personal reasons, but number two because it suits my style….simple and carefree!
Really loving your blog as of late! What I appreciate is that you know yourself and your style, yet you still leave room for exploring style changes as they take place. I also did the capsule wardrobe and actually enjoyed it quite a bit. However, I truly enjoyed your perspective in this post and am excited to apply many of your thoughts to my closet.
I appreciate that you are a dedicated purchaser from thoughtful brands (hello, Everlane!) Consistently supporting brands who are actually making changes in the fashion industry is vital! Excited to learn more from you as I read along.
But is trying new styles what’s gratifying or is the act of shopping the real pleasure? I don’t understand the point of having a dozen black t-shirts that look pretty much the same. Trying new stuff to try new designs would include prints, plaids, neon colors, and so on, I would think.
Love this post. It’s a classic I need to read more than once!
Hi, I am same as you here is proof that “I am an emotional dresser. I love to try new things, different styles” I little bit emotional about my dressing and your article gave me clearance regarding dressing and you provide the best info. regarding “how to organise wardrobe”.