(Hawk is being his own independent little person lately, so it was a miracle that he actually came to me to snuggle a bit when we were all up in his room to play – I asked Leo to document it LOL)
I know I keep mentioning that I’m ready to jump back in and start writing again, but then I disappear for a week. The problem is on the one hand, I have so many thoughts/ideas/things to say, but on the other, I lack direction and the time/discipline to start writing them down. I also have so many emotional ups and downs during the days and week that sometimes all I can bring myself to do while he’s napping is play games on my phone (at least I don’t do instagram anymore – I limit it to five minutes a day, which helps a lot) or shop for things I can’t buy.
So as I was brainstorming yesterday (haha, I’m really good at thinking – it’s the doing I have a harder time with), I came up with a super-cheesy idea that just might serve as inspiration for me to sit down and write again: monthly themes. I know…I rolled my eyes too, but I think it might be fun. Who am I??? 🙂
OF COURSE since it’s February, the theme is LOVE. I don’t mean romantic love, because what even is that?? I mean love as a series of choices – love as a verb.
Here are some things I’m thinking about:
What does it even mean to “love” an item of clothing?
How I love my clothes – how I take care of them, etc.
How my clothes love me, or don’t
How I love my body – or not
How does style/how I dress express love
How I love my family
How the ethics of what we choose to buy is an expression of love
Any other ideas?
I’m currently reading all about love by bell hooks which is definitely influencing how I’m thinking about love. Or even that I’m thinking about it at all right now. I guess I’m like most people and haven’t really examined what it means to love, or to be loved; I’ve just taken it for granted that my family will “love” me and that I “love” them. I know that isn’t good enough, and never has been. Now that I have to be an example to Hawk and teach him how to love what do I do? What do I say?
I think I will start with “love is as love does,” as bell writes in the book. Love is a verb, not a noun. For me, love is a series of choices I make everyday; I can choose to act with love in mind, or not – sometimes it’s that simple. In terms of how I explain that to Hawk I think it’s about how he can express his love not just by giving hugs or kisses (although those are nice), but by helping with what he can, picking up after himself, and generally being thoughtful and caring. I know he’s just 18 months old, but it’s never too early to plant the seeds. I can hope anyway…
How are you doing? I hope you are well!! I’m relieved and hopeful that all of my family who is eligible has received their first doses of the vaccine – I hope yours have too.
Great to “see” you and adorable Hawk. I will definitely check out that book. Right now I’m reading Caste which is amazing (I also read Untamed recently which was terrific!). Have a great day.
I feel like you answered your own question of how to teach Hawk about love in your last paragraph. It’s not just the words “I love you” that are important for a child to hear (and they ARE!), but it’s the example you set every day in showing him what love means. It absolutely is a verb! Lead by example is my best advice. Forgive often, and show him love in action by caring for others. He’s adorable!
Wonderful post.
First, so glad to see you so happy!!!
Second, LOVE 😉 the way you think.
Thanks for sharing it all
I hope this comment comes across as a comment from a friend rather than an annoying criticism from an internet stranger (even though I am a stranger to you!), but: bell hooks doesn’t capitalize her name. Maybe you already know, in which case sorry to mention it! Despite reading a biography of Georgia O’Keeffe, I still didn’t realize for the longest time she spelled her name with two f’s, so you know. Anyways, despite possessing that pretentious piece of knowledge though, I have never read hooks and you have convinced me that I should!
Ugh sorry I wanted to delete the above comment but don’t think I can. Of course you know. I’m being annoying!
No! It’s fine! I didn’t know. I did wonder actually but then i don’t know much about her besides the one book and I thought her name was not capitalized as a stylistic element for book covers. But now I see that it’s really not capitalized anywhere. I would love to read more about why that is. And more of her writing – I really appreciate it.
I just love seeing you enjoy being a mom so much! Spending time with your hawk is so much more important than anything else. Although when you have a few minute to share with your internet fans, we appreciate it!
i read caste just before this and i think about it all the time…should be required reading in high school imo
haven’t heard of untamed – will check it out!
thank you so much 🙂
I really like that book! Treating love as a verb is really important. Personally, I think what people do is at least as important as what they say. My mum never says sympathetic things, but she reliably provides practical support (by contrast my father left when I was 11 and I’ve seen him a handful of times since).