Friday Follow-up: Melissa Plastic Sandals, Kindness, & Everlane GC winners

Wearing

I still haven’t received the size 10 Everlane wide leg crop pant but I tried to wear the size 8 (my original review) again yesterday and see if they’d give/stretch more, and they didn’t.  I wasn’t really comfortable in them, unless I pulled them down a little so there was more room in my thighs/hips – so I’m pretty sure the size 8 is NOT for me.  Hopefully the size 10 will work!

Shopping

Melissa Hotness + Salina sandals – I got them with credits from Garmentory (when you use my referral link you’ll get a $20 account credit and so will I), and can’t recommend them highly enough.  I’m a HUGE Melissa shoes fan, I’ve had my thong sandals for nearly 10 years and wear them basically every day during warmer months, and they hardly look worse for wear.  I’d always wanted another pair, but never quite found the right ones until now.  Actually, I did buy a second pair, but I didn’t like them so much on my feet so they’re on SLOWRE.

(I haven’t worn these yet; even though it’s been rather warm here lately, I can’t bring myself to wear sandals in February…wearing with Levi’s Wedgie Icon jeans)

Melissa sandals are made in Brazil from recyclable plastic and are meant to LAST.  I find them to run true to size.  I don’t love some of their wedge styles, they remind me of high wedge flip-flops from the 90’s, but their platforms and flat sandals are pretty cute; I really like this simple pair of flat sandals.   I saw some pairs at Nordstrom recently too, so it’s worth a look in person if you live near a store.  They’re perfect for the beach, lake, rainy weather, or just whatever.

Back to Garmentory, they did a cool Nashville feature this week, and flash sale, which includes some great pieces by Nashville-based indie designers like Imogene + Willie & Ceri Hoover.  I’d always wanted to try Imogene + Willie jeans, which are a great price now during the sale, but I think I’m over straight/skinny styles for now.

But that got me thinking that my mom and I might take an overnight trip to Nashville on Monday just because.  I’m going to Atlanta tomorrow for her birthday on Sunday and we thought we’d do something besides stay at home this time, and the weather looks like it will be nice, so we’re considering Nashville.  Or Savannah.  But Nashville could be fun.  Any suggestions for what to do/eat/where to stay if we’re just there for a night?? (in either place?)

And Black Crane launched a new collection this week.  This COLOR!!!!

Reading/Watching/Doing

Guess what I did last night? Went to a mindful self-compassion workshop at a meditation “gym” in Dallas. I had no idea what to expect from it, went with a completely open mind, and I was so inspired. It was a very brief introduction to what mindful self-compassion is, and why we need it (lower rates of depression, shame, negative body image, and higher rates of happiness, life satisfaction and optimism).

Mindful Self-compassion goes beyond mindfulness, in that it teaches us what to do once we’ve identified “the problem.” Or when we’ve noticed that we’re suffering. Then what? Mindfulness is how we get to that first step: identifying that we’re suffering. And mindful self-compassion is a way to alleviate the suffering.

A few things she mentioned that I thought were fascinating:

Why do we have to LEARN how to be mindful? Because our reptilian brain is constantly trying to identify problems, and working through what happened in the past and what may happen in the future. That’s just our brain doing what it does. Every 4 seconds our brain scans our environment for threats! so we’re always on edge, or aware, unless we teach it to lay off every once in awhile. That’s what mindfulness meditation does.

Suffering is the human condition. We will all suffer, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US; it is our common humanity. And once we realize that, that we are not alone, and everyone is suffering, it should become “easier” to move through suffering to the other side. That’s something else that mindful self-compassion works to achieve. And by achieve, I mean NOT achieve, because it’s a practice, moving in the right direction, but never quite arriving, just like mindfulness it is something we need to work on every day.

But that goes back to what I was writing about earlier this week, about love, and kindness, and not always having to be right. I think if we keep in mind that we will all suffer, and that we share this one thing, that we really are BASICALLY THE SAME, then what difference does it make who’s “right” and who’s “wrong”? If everyone could deal with suffering in the same way, with self-compassion, great, but I don’t think that’s realistic. Everyone moves through pain and suffering differently, some with fear, and some with forgiveness. All each of us can do is try to be kind, understanding, thoughtful, and compassionate. To ourselves and to others.

This excerpt from the poem Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye sums it up better than I do:

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

At least that’s what I took away from the initial workshop.  It was such a beautiful experience, and even though we were a group of women (and one man!) who didn’t know each other, we were so open and supportive, I really felt much-needed kindness and love while I was there.  I can’t wait to learn more, and will probably take the instructor’s 8 week course this summer.

So, happy friday!!

Oh, and the winners of the $25 Everlane GCs are Dawn and Samantha (apologies if there are multiple Dawns or Samanthas who left comments, but if you won, you already received an email).  I chose the winners names randomly, but I am so grateful for everyone’s heartfelt responses and feedback on being more loving and kind, both to ourselves and to others.

The winner of the size 8 Everlane cropped ponte pants is Elizabeth C.  Look for an email!

And just because: