James Perse heavy fleece hooded dress (several years old) |
Use code GRECHENMAR18 for free shipping at James Perse through 3/25!!
Women by Common Projects Achilles sneaker
Marsell 4 Dritta bag
Wearing/Buying
Did you know, way back in the day, my tagline used to be “it’s not you, it’s your closet”? Actually, that was my dad’s idea, but it fit. I was tired of feeling like my body was “wrong” somehow, and hearing other women proclaim the same, instead of blaming our CLOTHES and how they fit on us, for our sartorial struggles. It’s absolutely true: our bodies are perfect. I find it rather unbelievable to think that clothes, from any designer, should fit EXACTLY right, just off the rack, on everyone. How could they??
They can get close, and James Perse always does, for me. As does Elizabeth Suzann (when I find the right fit/piece), and sometimes, but rarely, Eileen Fisher. I stick with what works for my body, and alter if I need to. I want other things from my life, absolutely, but a main concern for me has always been that I have clothing/shoes/accessories in my wardrobe that I love, and that love me back (serve me well for as long as I need them to).
I was thinking about this yesterday as I wore this outfit out to meet a friend for lunch, and run to Home Depot/Post office. This dress, famously, only comes out a few times a year because it’s a heavier fleece, but yesterday was perfect for it, and I enjoyed wearing it. It made me feel like me; like I was happily gliding through my day both looking AND feeling like I wanted to. That, is all I ask of my clothes, and I have learned to be brutal about adding/subtracting things that don’t meet those requirements.
And now that I have slowre, I see that other women are doing the same, and I am so honored to be a very small part in that. I had an AMAZING consignment shipment come in yesterday from someone who feels like I do, that if the clothes don’t work for her, why hold on to them? Even if they’re Elizabeth Suzann or Jamie + The Jones, etc. Too often, I think we fall into the trap of really wanting something to work, even if it doesn’t, and then we feel “bad” that it doesn’t work for our bodies, or that we don’t like it, especially if it’s a popular brand. WTF?? WHY do we do that??? They’re just clothes, how can they fit, or work for everyone??
I would also argue that clothing is often like art. We dress ourselves in a way we’d like to project our personalities to the world, and that is never the same for two people. Art is subjective, and so is getting dressed. There are no rules, or standards for dressing (beyond decency IMO), and for many people it is THE WAY they choose to express themselves.
Getting dressed should be empowering, not belittling.
So, May your closet be full of the things you love and that love you back 🙂 *
Moving on…
Okay. Since it’s EVERYWHERE, should we talk about Everlane’s underwear (launching 3/26)? I appreciate that they’re using supima cotton grown in the US (it’s usually grown in Texas BTW), and the styles/shapes look pretty no-nonsense, but as usual, I don’t have high hopes about the fit. I am definitely going to try some pieces though, the tank bra, a pair of granny panties, and the body suit. Just to form my own opinion. Because you know there will be glowing, fangirl reviews abounding at launch time.
*not that I think it’s easy to get there; to a fulfilling closet. It’s taken me years of work and over-analysis to get where I am LOL
Reading/Watching
Did I mention I’m reading Sapiens? I am blown away by this book, truly, but have to read really slowly because I can’t read it at night because I forget what I’m reading haha. I devour it on the weekends though as much as I can. I highly recommend it. I will probably read it again after I’m finished, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
Not really watching anything special, just catching up on season 4 of Schitt’s Creek (I purchased it on Amazon, but I think older seasons are free on Netflix), which is quite possibly one of the best shows EVER. That is, if you like movies like Best in Show 🙂
Doing
I have been gradually washing and storing my “winter” sweaters this week. I’m trying to be better about storing them CLEAN in a sealed box with some cedar sachets so I don’t pull anything out next year with holes in them…
What have you bought lately? read? watched? What are you doing this weekend?
Yet another company jumping on underwear? If they don’t just do small, medium, large in bras I may bite. Otherwise, forget it. Just how many women are small ribcage, small cup/medium ribcage, medium cup/large ribcage, large cup? Do the math, underwear manufacturers.
I am currently sitting here wearing merino and flannel and wanting to go down to Texas. Sigh. You do give me hope, though.
Ready-to-wear has certainly made clothing more affordable for most women and has allowed us to have these “first world” worries, but may contributes to our discomfort as well – as you note, why should we expect most clothes to fit us when there’s so much body diversity out there. Hence the happiness when we find clothes that seem custom-made for us… but so much frustration on the way!
haha! you are always welcome to visit 🙂
also, it doesn’t appear like any of their shoulder straps are adjustable. what?? that is so frustrating to me. i can never wear anything that doesn’t have adjustable shoulder straps, which is what also gives me pause ordering a clyde jumpsuit from elizabeth suzann 😉
I don’t know how you do it, but I needed to read this today. I’m wearing this top that I want to work SO BAD, but it just doesn’t. It’s too long, and now it’s way too big. As I’m losing weight, more and more of my clothes are not fitting properly, but I feel compelled to hold onto them. Either they were expensive and I feel guilty for letting them go, or they are cute and I still want to wear them. But I need to stop holding onto things that don’t serve my style and my body. Looks like I’ll be purging the closet this weekend!!
BRAVO! It’s the clothes, not us, needs to be repeated loud and often.
My love of Rick Owens stems from the realization that his stuff just fits me, and is super flattering. I gained quite a bit of weight a few years ago, and it was a Rick dress (heavily discounted at the end of year Barney’s sale) that was the first thing I had put on in months that didn’t make me feel awful about myself. Despite his reputation for avant-garde designs, I’ve since found his stuff to be very wearable and flattering to women who aren’t sample-sized (his partner? wife? is in her 50s and I think that feeds into him just getting how to dress women who are no longer super young.) Zero Maria Cornejo, and James Perse (although to a lesser extent these days for me) are others that work well for my shape.
There is no company I trust less to get underwear right than Everlane.
In any case, looking forward to your review!
There’s that dress I love! I found it in the cream and wore it over the winter (just last week on a cool day, in fact). Love how it feels cozy and looks refined at the same time.
Bahahahaaaaa AGREED
Grechen,
I feel like I should have made this comment when you posted the other day about Eileen Fisher but I just didn’t get a chance too and I hope this won’t be inappropriate here but I wanted to THANK YOU for how pleasant and easy you make it to purchase from Slowre. I can’t believe how quickly you got out the two items I purchased which also happen to be my VERY FIRST items of Eileen Fisher clothing. I have always appreciated the brands aesthetic (even when I was quite young and not a woman “of a certain age”) but I just could not justify paying full price for the items. I came to work today dressed like a elegantly chic art teacher and feeling so comfortable swathed in silk. My challenge now is to add to my EF collection but to do so through consignment or very good sales – I think that would be a “fun” paramenter/rule to set for myself.
I appreciate this blog and your willingness to share of yourself.
BTW, Don’t you dare turn that Sunja Link dress into pillows – I think it looks great on you and it certainly is a dramatic look that garners comments and compliments wherever you go I would imagine.
Haha!! Inclined to agree, which is why I’m super interested in trying… maybe they’ll prove us all wrong ?
My first few Eileen Fisher items came from “regular” thrift stores (when I shop in the more $$ towns 😉 so I recommend that if it’s an option. I am not in general a fan of buying used/online (except slowre, of course!) – I’ve never been an ebay shopper, even back in the day when you really could get decent stuff there. I don’t tend to have great thrift stores near me, which is why I like to shop them when I travel….My husband never minds (as long as I find him a good craft beer or cocktail….)
I am nothing short of skeptical about the bras. The underwear doesn’t look that different from Pact, which is organic, and most expensive (but I haven’t tried it yet). Very curious to see trusted reviews.
Count me among people struggling with real closet needs versus ideal closet needs. Part of my struggle is that I don’t always feel that I’m giving certain pieces the place in my wardrobe that I should ( I’m thinking right now of an Eileen Fisher silk poncho). Changing body, evolving style, etc. But maybe it’s all just excuses? I should send you a box for Slowre…
I do love the feel of “nailing” an outfit, from an authenticity standpoint. Glad your dress does that! It’s cute, and having a brand you love as consistently as JP is a huge load off.
(Pact is *less* expensive. Missed a weird dictated autocorrect.)
I love checking out thrift stores when I am traveling (esp. if it is a more metropolitan or affluent area) but all to often I forget or they get overlooked in an effort to fit more exciting venues into our trip. The thrift stores in my area NEVER have “good stuff”. I drag my husband to bead stores, ethnic grocery stores, and those large cosmetic mega-stores, so WHY NOT a thrift store too? I am so glad he is so patient.
Hi Grechen, I just found your blog because I search all things James Perse. I’ve been a JP superfan for years. Do you buy any second hand? I have favorite pieces from years ago I look for.
I will enjoy reading your blog!
Jean
oh! welcome to JP superfan HQ 🙂
i haven’t bought much JP secondhand, only things i might have missed out on originally, and then, only once! i pretty much snap up anything i’m interested in as soon as i see it LOL
and i really don’t have to replace much, except t-shirts, my oldest dresses are still going strong!
what are some of your favorite pieces?? what are you looking for right now?
oh, i’m so glad you like your pieces! i always love hearing that, so no, not inappropriate 🙂
and i’m definitely, absolutely not turning that dress into pillows. do not fear. haha!
i did not like my PACT underwear AT ALL, sadly, because they’re one of only a few more affordable org. cotton brands. waistbands AND the bands around the legs are super-important to me on underwear. bras i can be more forgiving on, but generally i require an adjustable shoulder strap at least. so we’ll see how everlane’s is. and how their claim that the bra won’t smoosh your boobs like sports bras. i can’t stand that, but i don’t see how they’ll remedy it….
if you’re saying “should” about something, then, for me anyway, that’s usually a dead giveaway that it’s not working out haha…i put something on today and thought immediately “I should wear this more often” and then not even 30 minutes after i remembered why i don’t wear it more often – it’s too much of a pain…
Love this post and it is absolutely true. I am the heaviest I have ever been and I look forward to getting dressed in the morning because I love my clothes. Letting go of standard wardrobe advice was the pivot I needed. I don’t abide by “ten must haves” or “how to dress for your body” advice anymore. In fact I dress almost the opposite of the standard advice for a petite woman or a woman with curves. I get more compliments than ever and I don’t always look the thinnest (which was my main concern before when dressing, this can be frustrating if one is not actually thin).It is easier for authors and stylists to say all hourglass figures should put a focal point at the waist. It is harder to give standard advice on how an hourglass figure can layer oversized pieces, it is dependent on the pieces, fabrics, colors and also many other factors about one’s shape. I trust my own eye now to make these decisions and can layer and style my clothing choices now to look many different ways. This dress does look great on you. I like that it is modest but still body conscious, it looks super comfy.
Yup! You nailed it for me, Cathy. I WANT them to work and the money i spent is a powerful motivator to hold on to them. I think Grechen summed it up for me when she said that she had “paid her share of stupid tax”! Me, too!
Ditto on that! My guy is a keeper. 🙂
We are lucky, aren’t we! (mine won’t do any “smelly” store – he has to wait outside when I check out makeup or perfumeries)
Mine, either. But he has been known to sit on a bench for an hour or so while I’m lost in the haze of Sephora! 😉
The Everlane underwear thing is intriguing, unfortunately the bras have that “one boob” sports bra shape. I’ve recently gotten into sustainable clothing after I took a class on Sustainability Science and the one area of my closet I have yet to “fix” is my underwear drawer…I looked high and low- but all the sustainable bras have this weird seam in the center of the cup! And it shows through clothes! Any idea where they might sell “triangle” type bras without the seam?
oh, hmmm…interesting….
you’re right about my botanica bra – it does have seams on the cup, and i guess it shows through, but i don’t notice it much?
my other bras aren’t necessarily “sustainable” though, unless you count that i’ve had them and worn them literally FOREVER. my favorite bras are by eberjey, back when they did 100% cotton and made in the US and they don’t have a seam down the front. also cosabella makes excellent bras that last forever.
have you looked at land of women? what do you mean when you say “sustainable” though? are you looking just for organic cotton? smaller designers? land of women is a small company, but they definitely don’t use sustainable materials. and now that i look, i see that seam…
What about Baserange? Some styles have seams, some don’t. And I think it’s all sustainably sourced.
I really like the triangle bras, which give enough support for me (I can’t go without these days, but I’m still fairly small.) A Canadian company, UnDone, often has decent sales and they ship for free to the US, so I stock up then.
OR for pieces that are really truly joy sparking but just don’t fit correctly, I think it is definitely worth the money and less waste to have them tailored.
That’s really helpful to know about Pact. I _loved_ Icebreaker wool hipkinis, but don’t like the bikinis as much and at $30/pop, they are quite an investment. I bought several in 2012-13-14, and they are starting to get holes and wear out (after SO many washings and wearings!) and I’d replace them if I could find the cut I like (I hate boyshorts).
Between being larger-chested (32E/F) and nursing, I really need good support and like a little structure between me and the world (molded cups are my friends). I’m thinking of trying ThirdLove but don’t know much about their ethical/sustainable cred. The Everlane, Pact, Icebreaker-type bras just don’t look like they’d work for me.