34 weeks today
I ordered a maternity/nursing bra from Kindred Bravely (thanks Jade for the endorsement!) this morning! I’m going to try and hold off on getting any more until after, and see how breastfeeding goes first. Val made a good point about leakage though, and I can see that I’d need a bra to actually hold nursing pads should that be an “issue,” so tank tops without any shelf support might not be enough for that (I have lots of tank tops). Ugh. So many THINGS TO WORRY/THINK ABOUT.
On breastfeeding though – I’m going to give it a good try for as long as I can, but I’m not going to go overboard trying to make it happen if it’s uncomfortable/I don’t produce enough/he doesn’t latch on correctly. We always think that breastfeeding is the most “natural” thing our bodies can do and should be easy, but the more I read about it, the more I understand it’s not so simple. AND anyway, according to Emily Oster’s research in Cribsheet, out of all that long list of benefits to mother and baby of breastfeeding, only a few are actually measurable and backed up by the data to BE benefits, so I’m also not going to stress about not being able to breastfeed if it proves to be too much.
Speaking of too much…I had a near panic attack at whole foods recently because I didn’t have enough reusable bags with me to hold all of the groceries and had to take a paper bag. I haven’t taken a paper or plastic bag (including for produce) from the grocery store, target, or any store where I buy anything in person in 5+ years, so it did stress me out, although it shouldn’t have; I am doing the best I can.
I think it’s all coming down on me now because I’m having to finally start GETTING READY for baby haha.
I’m going to have a diaper service for at least the first three months because I think it will make an already stressful time less so by not having to worry about laundering diapers. BUT, the cloth diapers have to go in a plastic pail liner to set out for the service. So is it a win because of the cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers? or a wash because of the plastic liner? or is it not so simple? (it’s the last thing…)
My husband is not excited at all about cloth diapering, so we will also have some disposable diapers, and/or disposable liners for cloth diapers available for him to use until he comes around, haha. And they might also be useful for outings, convenience, etc.
Finally…wipes. I am fine with using reusable wipes/washcloths, I think, but will also have disposable wipes on hand for convenience and outings.
There will be so many things to put in the TRASH, it’s overwhelming. And even if I buy/use biodegradable diapers & wipes, if they go in a garbage bag, piled under other garbage bags in a landfill, those things will NOT BIODEGRADE.
So, yeah. Intellectually I know that all these things I’m trying to do are not going to have a very significant impact. And on balance, my efforts may not yield many benefits for the environment at all. Think of the water it takes to launder cloth diapers, the transportation “costs” to get the diapers to the laundry, etc., etc.
Emotionally though, I have to try. And that’s the rub. Am I doing these things just to make myself feel better? So I FEEL like I’m doing something, whether or not I actually AM? But is that taking away from the larger work I could be doing to make systemic change?
Yes, yes, and yes. All yes, but at this point I only have the brainspace and physical capacity to do the “easy” things to make my specific household as eco-friendly as possible. That will have to be enough for now, and I am ultimately okay with that.
What are you wrestling with lately? 😉
Have a great weekend!!