Rachel Comey Steer pant (size 8)
Everlane mockneck tee (medium)
I know I dissed on Everlane recently, but I do like this tee – it’s nicely cropped on me, and the mockneck is comfortable; it works really well underneath sweaters and cardigans
Organic by John Patrick Potato sweater (pretty old…) | in periwinkle at Garmentory
Women by Common Projects Achilles sneakers (recommend HIGHLY) | on sale at The Line
Transience Swing Bag (gift from the designer to review)
Wearing/Buying
I did end up ordering the Vince knit high-top sneakers to try, they should be here on Tuesday 🙂
Reading/Watching
I’ve binged on all of Black Mirror the last week or so, and OMG. So disturbing, but also probing and thought provoking. The best TV I’ve seen in awhile. And there’s a lot of really good TV out there…
If you’re not already listening to the Secular buddhism podcast, you should be. I don’t listen regularly, but now that I do mostly scenic rides on the Peloton, I use that time to listen to podcasts and this week I listened to the one on “all pervasive suffering.” It was very good, and clarified for me something I’ve been struggling with for a while: being content in each moment, but also wanting things to be different. Contradictory, no?
Yes, but not exactly in the way Noah explained it. We suffer because we get caught up in “shoulds” – you know shoulds…like I should be happy, I shouldn’t be angry, I should be healthier, etc., etc. Focusing on all those shoulds is useless, and takes away from each moment. What difference does it make what you SHOULD feel? You already FEEL that way, right now, you’re angry, or sad, or frustrated.  There’s nothing else. What does saying or feeling like you shouldn’t be sad, or angry, or whatever, do for us? Nothing, except make us feel WORSE! We know that, yet we keep doing it.
The key is instead, turning the should into a could – instead of saying “I should be happy,” tell yourself “I could be happy” or things could be different, which gives you something to work with, work towards. Should is a dead end; there’s nowhere to go from should, and that is the root of all-pervasive suffering, that is, the suffering that IS ALL IN OUR HEADS.
Anyway, his explanation of “could” really helped finally shift for me that I can be content with what is, while also understanding that things could be different, without getting caught up in the old idea that things SHOULD be different. A small, but considerable change that has felt really good this week.
Doing
Mostly just trying to get back in the “normal” swing of things. I have an appointment with the oral surgeon next Thursday and he’ll tell me when I can get the wires off and how my jaw is healing. Having an “end date” will help a lot, I think. I’m really enjoying this vegan hot chocolate (I make mine with coconut sugar and peppermint extract) recipe and golden milk lately, however. Makes this whole thing a little easier 🙂 I’m allowing myself A LOT more “sugar” than I usually would though, so once I can eat again, I’ll have to be more mindful of that.
How has your week been? I’m so glad the “holidays” are over….I like consistency !!
I love this mockneck + sweater look. It’s vaguely preppy??? You look great though. And also love the idea of could vs. should. It really adds a lot of agency to the situation. Crazy how language and how we talk about our feelings can actually make a big difference to what we do about it all.
haha. yes, vaguely preppy is as close as i’ll get to preppy i think!!
one thing i definitely don’t have enough of are turtlenecks/mockneck tees for cold weather. having my neck covered makes SO MUCH DIFFERENCE
I’m reminded of a class in grad school where we talked about a very blunt therapist who would often say to his clients “stop should-ing all over yourself!” I often remind myself of that quote these days!
so true!!
My sister crocheted me this neck thing out of thick wool, basically it’s a short tube you just pull over your head. Like a scarf but no fuss. Like a giant turtleneck without the turtle. Having your neck and shoulders covered makes SUCH a difference when you’re cold!
Do you think you’ll end up removing Everlane from the menu at the top of your blog? I just noticed it’s still there (I usually read from feedly and don’t see the full site) and seemed not to fit after your recent post.
i don’t know why i would remove it…?
i’m not removing any content – plenty of people still like and wear everlane, and there’s quite a bit of excellent reader feedback in the comments on my posts, and discourse about the brand. just because i don’t necessarily want to buy it or add it to my own wardrobe anymore doesn’t invalidate everything i’ve previously written about them. and it hasn’t all been unicorns and rainbows over the years either.
i have something like that! it’s called a buff and it’s 100% wool, very lightweight, and warm, sort of. it’s just not tight on my neck, so it’s a little more drafty than i’d like, but i do wear it when i walk dagny, or if i’m going to be out much. if i remember to, that is 😉
I can relate to what you said about Everlane. Their style aesthetics, sales philosophy and price point are very appealing. Now that they have started shipping to my country, I love browsing their site and have even ordered a few things. Some I love, others I felt meh about but didn’t end up returning as the pieces weren’t expensive and the return shipping plus their restocking fee just didn’t make it worth it. But I don’t like the idea of keeping items that I don’t really love or not that flattering in my (already stuffed) closet.
that’s a great episode… i just love the way noah breaks it all down.
I really like this outfit and the mock T is very much me. Unfortunately, it won’t be restocked until March.
Thanks for the podcast tip, sounds like my kinda listen, just subscribed.