Black Crane carpenter pants | mine are navy, black version
James Perse casual tee
Organic by John Patrick cardigan | very old…
No6 Clog wedges | sold out, black version on a higher wedge
Jas M.B. bag | old, sold out similar bag, new style
Yesterday’s outfit was a big f-you to the nasty voices in my head. The voices that say:
you’re only going to Whole Foods, why bother?
don’t wear those pants, they’re too weird.
your hair looks ridiculous pulled back.
black bag with navy pants?? GASP
it’s too much color.
I won’t even repeat some of the other things the voices said, except that they did also tell me not to buy the jelly beans and EAT THEM ALL ON THE WAY HOME, and I said f-you to that too. But that was actually the not-nasty voice, the one that wants me to feel good and be healthy. I get them mixed up sometimes…
But sometimes I choose to give the negative voices more power than the positive ones, because some days, it’s easier to believe them. Probably too many days lately, but I’m working on that.
Yesterday, I decided that I was going to wear these Black Crane pants again. It was the perfect day for them, 60’s, cloudy, so why not? And I’m still trying to convince myself to keep them. The shoes and cardigan also; they are all pieces I have been thinking it’s time to let go of, so I wanted to make myself wear them again, to see if I could get an emotional response one way or another. The jury’s still out, but this whole outfit is more high-school art teacher than I’d like, honestly. It might just be the shoes that throw it.
Anyway, I put the outfit on and kept my hair pulled back, because it’s long, and looks terrible down, and today I’m going for cut/color so I didn’t want to wash/style it. So lazy, I know. And when I looked at myself on the way out, I thought I looked good, comfortable, interesting, different – all ways I’m happy to describe myself.
And then the voices went CRAZY. Like, this is the suburbs, no one out here “gets” those pants. Change into jeans and a black sweatshirt. BLACK. You should be wearing black.
But I ignored the negativity, told it to take a hike, I am WEARING THE PANTS, and forgot all about it once I stepped out the door.