1 ETOILE ISABEL MARANT sweatshirt | old….
2 OLIVER PEOPLES glasses
3 EVERLANE ryan tank top
4 INHABIT cotton v-neck sweater | old…
5 PROENZA SCHOULER ps1 satchel | purchased with credits earned from Forzieri
6 FRAME le garcon jeans | made in the US
7 VINCE perforated sneakers | 20% off at azalea with code GRECHEN20
What I wore this weekend:
Saturday | Frame jeans, Etoile sweatshirt, Everlane ryan tank, Vince sneakers, PS1
Sunday | Frame jeans, Everlane ryan tank, Inhabit sweater, Vince sneakers, PS1
What a beautiful weekend we had!! And of course, where did I spend most of it? In my closets, drawers, bathrooms…no, not really, well, yes, most of it, but I did get out for long walks in the sun, and lunches out with Leo in between all the tidying up.
It wasn’t until I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up last week that I really thought about going through and purging the REST of my stuff, not just my clothes, shoes & accessories. I realized as I was reading, that I was holding on to a lot of things that were taking up space in my life (books, papers) and came to the stunning conclusion that they could be purged also.
As I sat in my chair reading, looking at my bookshelf filled with what was left of the books I’d had for many many years; the ones I’d decided to lug with me from Atlanta to Austin and then to Dallas, I felt burdened. I’d always thought my books were my prized possessions, that there were certain ones I’d never get rid of, even if I never opened them again, but as I thought more about them, I realized I was holding on to nothing.
I used my books to define me, as I used my clothes (sometimes still do, let’s be honest…I’m working on that). It’s a long story, with too much explanation, but suffice to say, I only have a few books left out of my hundred or so.
I thought every book I owned was meaningful, and it was, at some point in my life, but they served their purpose, so I released them. I had quite a few books that were “unique” – including a few I got at Yad Vashem (the holocaust memorial in Jerusalem) and at Masada, that I NEVER thought I’d part with, but I wasn’t looking at them anymore, and thought about others who may not get to go there, who would appreciate reading and holding in their hands books from those places. So I let them go.
I wanted someone else who appreciates books as much as I do to have a chance at them. I apply this all the time to my clothes, shoes, and bags – never wanting to hold on very long to things that weren’t getting used/appreciated, wanting them to go to a loving home, but my books…they were a PART OF ME.
Not any more. I have some left, that belonged to my grandmother, and a couple I’m just now reading, but otherwise, I sold them all. As with coffee, clothes I loved, etc., etc., my things do not define me; they are not who I am, and now that they’re gone, I feel strange, honestly, having a bookshelf with no books, but a little lighter, and excited to have shared my joy with someone else.
I also spend a LONG time alone (with a sleeve of thin mints…) in my bathroom throwing things away and struggling what to let go of. It was almost harder to get rid of the last few drops of my Caudalie vinoperfect serum (that I couldn’t get out of the bottle anyway) than it was my books. But I did. I have only things I use daily left in my bathroom drawers and on my counter top.
I also went through my exercise & “home” clothes, and underwear drawer and made a large plastic bin full of things to go to goodwill. As I was going through drawers I found this Inhabit sweater and wore it Sunday to try and decide if I should keep it or not. I’m not keeping it.
Finally – I shredded ALL of my papers. I might have shredded more than I should have, but it’s too late now! I also got rid of folders full of my pre-school and elementary school papers, childhood vaccinations, and first birthday cards. (before you ask if I should have saved those to give to my mom – SHE gave them to me long ago. so…).
I did not get rid of any photographs yet, and I have not finished with my closet. Honestly, I was too scared to tackle either of those quite yet.
As I was reading the book and her chapters about deciding which clothes to get rid of – the ones that do not “spark joy” – I wrote a note to myself to remember while going through things:
do my things spark joy?
or have i resigned myself that this is what is? and i must be satisfied with them?
I was terrified after that. Because I think I will find, as I touch my clothes, and honestly evaluate what I have chosen to keep, after my massive purge last year, that there are very few things left that actually give me butterflies – that spark joy.
And then what do I do?
So then, I am left with more questions. Maybe touching a thing won’t spark joy, but wearing it will. Maybe our clothes don’t NEED to spark joy, maybe they need to both be “beautiful” and practical in their own way, and in a way that is satisfying, not necessarily “joyful.”
I need to explore those things more, and work on how I want to proceed with the rest of my clothes. Maybe I don’t do anything. I’m relatively satisfied with the size of my wardrobe right now, aside from a few pairs of shoes and a couple of things I KNOW I’m ready to part with. So I may just leave well enough alone for now.
Anyway, that was my weekend, and thoughts on some of the purging I did after reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I still plan to do a full book review with MANY more of my thoughts on the book on Thursday, but that is my journey so far.
Who else has read this book and proceeded to tidy up? What was your experience?
I’ve done a lot of tidying up, throwing away, etc., but much of it was prompted by life events – moving back into my house when my divorce was final, remarrying, my kids establishing their own living spaces in other parts of the country, and so on. I do find the process very calming. I’ve also learned, over the years, not to get frenetic if there’s something I do just Want To Keep. I have an embroidered Mexican maxidress from my teen years hanging in my closet, just for the memories. And I let it stay;).
I’m glad you’re feeling freer, and able to let go. It’s a wonderful aspect of aging, and it mostly compensates for the physical freedom we lose.
Lisa´s last blog post ..A Fairly Thoughtful And Just-In-Time Valentine’s Day Gift Guide
thank you lisa!
i do feel i would like to get better at keeping things that as you say, i just Want to Keep, without feeling guilty or overwhelmed. that is my next step 😉
Can I have the sweater?
I just read this book last week and I am absorbing the ideas. I am going to begin my entire purge of my stuff in March. I have always done a twice a year closet purge, so this seems like a natural time to start. I have already started thinking differently about all the things in my home and I am excited to see how this will affect me and my entire family.
I identify with your question about all of our clothing sparking joy. It seems like a big challenge for a tee shirt! Sometimes I think being useful and playing a supporting role can be a beautiful thing too.
Last week, I was looking for trip information from when I was in Istanbul (2011) to send to a friend who’ll be going this summer. I found a file cabinet full of my dissertation proposal drafts & notes from 2006 – right before I left the program ABD. I had gotten rid of all my other grad school notes in previous years, but this one drawer had remained. No more. It all went into the recycling bin except one draft (because I don’t have any electronic versions any more – they were all on disks that have been thrown away because no one has equipment to read them 🙂 Emotionally I’ve moved so far beyond what was a really hard but good decision. And yet, last week – it was still really hard to put those papers into the recycling bin…..
I cleaned out half my linen cupboard over the weekend. It’s not just towels and sheets, but health & beauty stuff as well. I threw away so much stuff (2 big garbage bags) and for a lot of it I just had to close my eyes and toss, because I didn’t know if it was OK to get rid of those things. I just knew they had to go. I didn’t even keep the makeup I used for my wedding (well, it WAS 25 years ago lol).
I still have a giant unopened bottle of Cetaphil however. Do you think that stuff goes bad?
I still have 2 more shelves to go. And I need to tackle the bathroom. Wish me luck!
Awesome Grechen! This book has seriously been life changing for me. After cleaning out my clothing, shoes and jewelry 3 weeks ago, I have to say that getting ready in the morning is no longer a chore. No more spending forever in front of my closet trying to find something to wear. Now I know I love everything I have and it fits – not to mention it is tidy and I can see it all.
This weekend I tackled the kitchen, pantry and hutch in the dining area. Let go of so many unused appliances, dishes, linens etc…Now I have counter space and everything has a home. My DH and kids are not sure they like it yet – “looks like no one lives here”. I love it! Next on the list – the linen closet/catch all for all those unused beauty products.
This book has been on my reading list for a while. I am debating on buying the kindle or book format. Are there photos that would be missed on the kindle? Is a *real” book just adding to bookshelf clutter? I can’t decide.
I just read the book this weekend! I’ve been dissatisfied with the lack of order in my life for a few months, and now I’m itching to evaluate everything I own. Her dictate to choose what to discard has already provided a change in perception, as if I now permit myself to accept that some of the things I own, while useful, just annoy me or bring up feelings of frustration (like the Gap cotton tees that lose their shape after an hour of wear and have been downgraded to lounge wear).
The idea of “sparking joy” is a difficult concept, I think because in the west we generally identify joy as overflowing happiness. But if you look at stoic or buddhist philosophy, it’s more of a feeling of deep contentment and gratitude (“A Guide to the Good Life: the Ancient Art of Stoic Joy” examines this topic). But I was looking at my office supplies thinking, how does a pair of scissors spark joy/contentment? Because they cut really well, or feel nice in the hand? How about paperclips? Am I supposed to chuck the paperclips I’ve been reusing since college because they’re bent out of shape and instead buy some fancy hipster artisinal paperclips, because the fancier ones make me happy to look at?
It’s encouraging reading posts and comments from people who have already gone through the process. Makes me more excited to do it myself!
I too have read (and loved) the book. I am a sentimentalist, which makes parting with things so hard- but I loved Marie Kondo’s suggestions to thank the item for the lessons it taught you, then pass it on- a much more positive take for me than purging or culling, which seems to involve mistakes and regret. What also helped with more sentimental items (old T-shirts, cards and letters, stuffed animals, whatever) was to take photos of the items before donating them. Digital memories take up so little space but can be very comforting nonetheless.
I read the book over Christams and did a 4 day “tidying” before heading back to work. I made it through my closet, bathroom and pictures. I think it is an amazing book and it has changed my life. I feel calmer, I am surrounded by clothes that make me happy, fit and work well together (I went with that instead of sparking joy – hard to feel joy about socks, but I only kept the ones I liked best). I still am getting rid of – now when I wear something I ask myself whether it really makes me happy – if not to Goodwill it goes.
Interesting AMA on reddit with Marie Kondo. Some great answers.
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2u7yet/i_am_marie_kondo_international_tidying_expert_and/
I haven’t read the book, but I do have the tiding up bug and as soon as I’m free from my job ( 3 more weeks! ) .. then I’ll be following the same path 🙂
Monica.
MonicaP´s last blog post ..Fringe Cardigan and a few accessories from Charming Charlie
yay! i’m excited for you monica 🙂
yes! i did that – expressed gratitude to the things i was letting go of – even though it felt a little silly at first. i found that it really helped to think in those terms though, especially with regard to things I had a hard time parting with.
good idea to take photos of items! i actually visited my cousin recently and looked through so many photos she had of our family and took photos of the photos with my camera instead of taking actual photos. well, i did take some actual photos too…but not as many 😉
i don’t think there are any photos/images…but then again, i bought it for my kindle, so maybe i just don’t know!! if i wasn’t trying to get RID of books, this might have been one i’d appreciate having, and writing notes in, but i did that anyway, just in a moleskine notebook. i’m hard-pressed to buy a “real” book anymore if I can get it for my kindle…
The photos were essential for me when I had to clean out my parents’ house this year following both their deaths- there were so many memories and so little space/opportunity to bring all but a minimum to my home that this was the only way I could deal!
haha! true…i hate socks 🙂 but i do try to appreciate them more now. i don’t even ball them up anymore!!!
We recently moved to asia and packed upa 4 bedroom house we had been living in for 12 years.
The idea of your stuff being packed into a container and shipped across the world is pretty clarifying.
It was a little depressing seeing the MOUNTAIN of stuff for goodwill but I’m determined to acquire less aggressively going forward.
What you said about books – so true -I went through same process of thinking of how they defined me.
Having papers shredded was very satisfying!
I started the KonMari process this past weekend…and I have never been so exhausted. I still haven’t recovered. I try to honor the wisdom of teachers, so am attempting the follow the order Ms. Kondo found to be most efficient…bringing everything of the one category into one place, etc. OMG. I worked for eight hours on Friday, and only got through a third of the clothes categories. Another 12 hours over Saturday and Sunday, and I still have hauled out my shoes. I grossly underestimated how much time and energy this would take, though it may be that my clothes were the worst of it. I’m pretty sure I kept a few things that would rather go, but hey.
Her Shinto perspective really works for me in a way that the western version “keep what is beautiful and/or useful” does not. Everything I have is beautiful and/or useful. It is not a huge leap for me to think of inanimate objects as having a kind of life energy. People have relationships with their cars. What is interesting is that I have always felt like I was rejecting something if I sent it away. It has never occurred to me to give my items a kind of autonomy, and go to them and see if their time with me is done. It was very meaningful to thank all my things. I’m not always good at being able to tell if something ‘sparks joy’. I found that sometimes I had to look in the mirror and see my face to tell whether or not it was sparking joy. People say I can’t hide my expressions…and I guess they are right. I had only about 40 things that ‘sparked glee’, but I’m not ready for that kind of purge yet. I’m hoping ‘joy’ is allowed to be a little more subtle. 🙂
On the upside, I am so tired and overwhelmed by the process that the thought of buying something new to add to my tidy clothing drawers makes me feel like I am going to panic. First. Time. Ever.
Next weekend its my books. Yikes…
Oh, I really like that, Lori!: “…being useful and playing a supporting role can be a beautiful thing, too.” My white Gap tanks that I wear as an under-layer almost every day. They’re work horses!
Yes, Joanna W. It goes bad. Check the bottle for an expiration date…there might be one. Or smell it and you’ll know instantly!
Wow! I am so impressed by all of your readers that have started on this process of simplifying their lives. It’s so appealing, and yet very frightening. I think it’s what Pam said about fear of mistakes and regret. I’ve gotten rid of things that belonged to my Grandparents in the past because we’ve moved so many times, and it just plain sucks to move!
I also can tell how emotionally and physically exhausting this process can be. I’m not there quite yet, but I’ll check into the book. Thanks everybody, for being so encouraging! I can do this!
wow.
i am in awe 🙂
I’m trying to figure out what my version of “joy” is also – i agree, everything i own is “beautiful/useful”, so that’s not the best criteria. Again, i think it has to be “good enough” – although that doesn’t sound very nice, does it?? it sounds like i’m settling. which in a way, i suppose i am. but i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, as long as i wear it?
definitely thanking my things helped me to let go of them. i said “thank you” and put it in a box and that was it. gone.
oh yes! i can imagine how clarifying that was! when we moved from atlanta to austin, i thought i got rid of a lot, and i did. but not in hindsight…
that’s the key though, i think. how to avoid collecting so much stuff now, after purging? the million dollar question…
oh yes!! i love this – we do tend to work in extremes don’t we – and that’s not necessary. i love the idea of contentment and gratitude instead of “joy or excitement” – it’s hard for me to feel joy honestly…i’m much more subtle and “balanced” if i can call it that! contentment is about as good as it gets for me!! which i think is fine.
love your analysis of office supplies 🙂
i totally identify…of course, all of my college papers, etc., were done before we had thumb drives, or the cloud, etc., so they were all stored on floppy disks or cds (long gone..) other than a few theses i printed out. which i threw out finally also…it was hard, because i still feel regret that i got so close to getting master’s and didn’t finish – but i had to let go of that too.
Oh it´s funny, i just finished this book last week ! But i took the opposite path, i got rid of half my possessions last year except for the clothes (right after reading The Joy of Less of Francine Jay). And now, i ´ m ready to tackle my Closet at last.
As for the konmari method, i spent my sunday folding and tidying my clothes vertically in drawers as she advises : i just love it ! It is so much better, you CAN see all your clothes at a glance
(I never let a message but i was reading your blog in 2008, back to the purse forum, and i saw you featured my blog once ;-))
walinette´s last blog post ..La NO-BUY list.
Thanks for this post and mentioning this book. I’m totally going to read this. My problem is the guilt that comes along with tossing certain things. Like photographs, for instance. I find myself saving so many photos, I mean boxes of them, even though I may only look through the box once a year, at most. Organizing them into albums just sounds like a long, tiresome chore at the moment. And the paperwork! i need to do a shredding-Saturday this weekend, I think!
No, don ´t worry, there ´s no pictures in it
walinette´s last blog post ..La NO-BUY list.
thanks for your comment!! i’m a huge fan of your blog – if only for the photos 🙂
i tried to fold my clothes like she says and had such a hard time i gave up! i did roll my tank tops and was able to get them to stand vertically, but that’s it. my worry is that i can’t see the tags, so how will i tell one ribbed white tank top from all of the other (similar but different!!) ones i have in my drawer??
funnily enough, i haven’t felt any guilt about getting rid of things – until someone else says something about it. like my father or mother will make a remark that they can’t believe i got rid of my wonderful book collection or something – then i start to second-guess myself (story of my life!)
shredding took me literally all afternoon on sunday. plus, if i make my shredder work for 4 minutes straight it has to take a 30 minute break, so i went REALLY slowly to avoid that!
For the photographs, I am guessing you would need to look through them to decide what to get rid, yes? So why not just make it a project to scan your favorites and/or put your favorites into albums? Then you won’t have the guilt or all the stuff but enough that you can enjoy. 🙂
I do not subscribe at all to the idea that we need to throw out photos or get rid of books just because we don’t look at that often. I think this is part of my problem with some of the minimalists that I read. If you feel weighted down by these things then by all means, do what makes you happy and get rid of them. But I am one of those weirdos who loves to look at old photos, I do it often, and I keep them organized. As for the book collection, I am currently in a Ph.D. program so there is no way around the many many books and papers, and even the books that I have for fun I want to be able to re-read. Also, I am not a big decorator so a wall to wall bookshelf is my idea of great decor, ha.
I just finished Kondo’s book about a week or so ago. I loved it–more than I thought I would. It, too, prompted me to start asking the joy question. I have cleaned out my clothes, and I’m starting on my books on Thursday, followed by the rest of the categories this weekend. It’s refreshing and freeing to be able to let things go after acknowledging that they no longer have a place in my life :).
I just started reading this book and I had the same revelation you did regarding books. I have SO MANY books that are just…books. They aren’t going to be read and don’t hold meaning for me. Why is owning a bunch of books so important to me? I culled out a huge bunch to be donated/sold.
I’m waiting until I finished the book before I tidy up the rest of my apartment, but the idea of simplifying my life and possessions is very appealing.
Adrien´s last blog post ..BUY THIS (So We Don’t Have To): Poor, Poor Piperlime.
it was such a revelation for me to think of my books in a different way – i always thought i’d just hold on to them, carry them from place to place. i did enjoy having books, but it was more just the “having” you know? not for what they meant to me. and i love the idea that now others can have access to them.
i took mine to a place here that sells used books – i always appreciate going in and finding interesting books, so i figured someone else would appreciate mine. that makes me happier than having books sitting around not getting read.
There’s just something about books! I always think it’s weird when I go to someone’s house and they don’t have any books at all. I love them in general, but I’d rather have less books and have the ones I do own be meaningful to me. I’d just never thought about it that way before. I want my books to spark joy.
Adrien´s last blog post ..Where It’s At: Reader Recs for Asian Sunscreen