Ace & Jig Milo overalls (large)
Girlfriend Collective half-zip sherpa in Ice (large)
Leset Pointelle pants (I love these when it’s warmer, also for pajamas…)
James Perse tee (it’s probably a decade old)
Babaa wool cardigan no17 in Oak
Hello. How are you?
Aside from chasing around a 16-month old, I’ve been quite busy lately. Big news is I’m shutting down Slowre for at least a couple months, maybe longer? I haven’t decided yet, honestly it’s VERY hard to let go of completely – it was hard enough deciding to take a break – so I may start back after we move and get settled in again next spring/summer. I do not like to quit.
But I know it’s the right thing for me now. A week or so ago I was just sitting with Hawk while he played with blocks when all of a sudden he started stacking them instead of just knocking them over and I got so excited; I realized there was literally no where else I wanted to be or be doing at that moment than just being with him. And I CAN do that. I am lucky enough to be able to do that, so why would I not??
In spite of knowing this, as an entrepreneur/”business” woman, I am also being very very hard on myself. When I check in on social media (which isn’t very often lately) I see plenty of women, new moms, moms of kids Hawk’s age, moms of multiple young children, who are working, writing books, producing tons of content…and I let myself feel bad for being fulfilled just being Hawk’s mom.
I am though – content with just being Hawk’s mom right now – and I know that I personally just can’t manage Slowre AND be the kind of mom I want to be to Hawk. I WANT to prepare all his food for him. Most days during his 2.5/3 hour naps I am baking oatmeal for his breakfasts, making muffins for snacks, blending tofu yogurt, lentil pancakes for lunches, prepping veggies for dinners. Not to mention vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing spilled yogurt from his high chair…laundry…
Sure, I don’t have to do all that stuff, but I WANT to, and I am trying to get myself used to not apologizing for it, or feeling like a failure as an “independent woman”.
The truth is though, that I wasn’t being the kind of business owner I wanted to be either because I was always choosing Hawk, so instead of let Slowre continue to fall into obscurity and mediocrity I am choosing to take a break until I can devote as much energy to it as I need to for it to continue to grow and be successful.
So that’s the “business” news haha. I do also miss writing here and sharing thoughts on clothes and getting dressed. THAT is still important to me and feels more like “me” now than managing a consignment business.
Here are the things I bought during BF/CM sales this year:
Girlfriend Collective – pocket leggings + half-zip sherpa in Ice. I did get the Luxe legging a while ago when they were having another sale, and while I love how they feel and look in general, they’re getting little nicks here and there that turn into pulls; I can tell they won’t last long, or at least they won’t look very nice if they do, so I don’t really recommend those. None of my other Girlfriend leggings have ever showed nicks, but still my favorites are the basic high-rise compressive leggings. I love this half-zip sherpa; it’s my coat now since my Patagonia one doesn’t zip up…
Babaa – This wool cardigan, which is my second cardigan from Babaa. I love them both and still wear the cotton cardigan whenever it’s a bit warmer, but this wool one is nice and cozy; just what I need at home rn.
Shopbop – James Perse mixed media pants, tee shirt (I thought it was apropos LOL), and a cotton sweater (I thought this color was just really beautiful).
Covet & Lou – Ichi Antiquities cardigan
Organic flannel shirt from Everlane, which I basically wear everyday with leggings in the AM before I take my shower.
And for your Hawk update:
(he just woke up from his nap and I hadn’t put his hair up yet)
His grandfather (my dad) bought him his first Lacoste shirts for Hanukkah 🙂
They are SOOOOOO freaking cute
He’s just the most fun. When it’s sunny and not below freezing here we still spend a lot of time outside. He has some warm jackets and wool socks he wears with his Crocs and seems perfectly happy playing outside, even if I’m freezing LOL. We go for a walk everyday and otherwise just play and hang out at home. I try very hard to think of stimulating and educational things for him to do, but I mostly just let him do what he wants and play alone if he feels like it. He also really loves to watch livestreams of birds on YouTube and BBC oceanscapes on loop haha. He is obsessed fish and all things ocean.
Finally, I’m doing really well. A lot of my pain seems to be barely noticeable most of the time now which makes SUCH A HUGE difference in my days. There’s no such thing as “control” when you have a toddler I guess, but I do feel like I’m settling into as much of a routine as I can now, which includes time for me to exercise in the mornings and going to bed pretty early at night haha. I’m still a morning person, and I love to sit with my coffee alone in the AM for the few minutes I get, but nowadays I REALLY look forward to bedtime!!
How are you?? Did you get anything with BF/CM deals? What are you doing for the holidays this year? I hope you’re all well – I know it’s such a hard time for everyone now, but I can’t help feeling a little hopeful for things to be better next year.
Hi Grechen– What a great update. So glad you’re feeling better and are taking a break. Enjoy your time with Hawk. Take care, Beth
So adorable! I can’t even! Glad things are going well :)))))))
Awww, I love that you are enjoying your adorable little guy so much. I was able to stay home with my two now grown boys. I used to hate when my MIL would say ‘the days are long, but the years are short’, but got to say how true it is. I love reading your updates. Hawk is such a scrumptious little cutie!
Grechen, I am so happy you have the option for this time with Hawk, and I am happy that you can dive in–if you want to. He’ll be in school soon enough, and there’s always time to reinvent yourself professionally–if you want to. Reinventing yourself as a mother is harder. Whatever you do now, if you can, choose what you will not regret. Childrearing is tough, all along, and regrets make for weak spots. Sending all my best.
So happy to hear that your pain is dissipating. It makes a big difference in how one copes with life! And it thrills me to know that you’re raising Hawk to appreciate nature – He’s a little birder already! He’s just precious, Grechen, and I totally get why you want to be with him. I did the same thing when my girls were young and I don’t regret one minute of time I spent with them.
Purchases on BF/CM were mainly gifts, but I did a little Val shopping – however, most of it got returned. WHY do I keep buying jeans online???
A quiet holiday at home with my hubby, but happy that our kids are well in their respective countries/state. And we celebrate our daughter Rachel’s engagement to her fiancé in Colombia! Happy Holidays to everyone.
Loved reading that you choose Hawk over work. I was the same after I had my first child, feeling all the social pressure of being the mom that can juggle a career and kids. I struggled for a long time about giving up my career to stay at home and still do from time to time as my kids are getting older and less dependent. But overall, I have no regrets in choosing them over work, as I can’t imagine having a nanny take care of them. I would have missed so many amazing moments with them that informs more of my self-worth than work can possible do. Like you, being in such a lucky position to be able to have choice, why wouldn’t I choose my kids over a career?
On new things – I went a little crazy in Nov/Dec with new items as I needed to replenish a bunch of items I purged in September. I got multiple items from two spanish labels called Tiny Cottons and Bobo Choses, that primarily make children’s wear but also have a women’s line. I also got a sweatshirt dress from Black Crane and loving their wide pants, both in terry cotton. It’s like wearing cozy winter pyjamas.
I try to like Babaa wool and use to have the oak cardigan that you have but I have a hard time getting over the scratchy wool. I sold it and bought the v-neck sweater thinking that I might wear it more but can only wear it on days that it’s quite cold indoors since I need to wear a thick long sleeve t-shirt underneath. I also can’t wear a coat on top as the style is a quite voluminous, especially on the arms so I have to alone or the long t-shirt under. I just don’t find myself reaching for it very much.
Grechen Reiter says
oh, i love bobo choses!! such cute kids’ stuff. and i need to hear more about the black crane dress! i was very tempted by the cowl-neck one but i had to remind myself (over and over and over) that i do not tend to wear dresses when it’s at all cold….
i knew the babaa wool was going to be “abrasive” LOL because of all the sweaters i had come through slowre, but still…haha. actually i don’t mind it much now, but i still prefer to wear it with long sleeves underneath and when i’m VERY cold. i washed it and that helped, but then, the sweater actually smelled more like a barn than it did when it arrived!!! i sort of appreciate that, in that it makes you hyper-aware of where your clothes come from, but thankfully the odor dissipates…
i wouldn’t buy anymore wool from them though, i much prefer the feel/fit of my big cotton cardigan. i LOVE that.
Grechen Reiter says
oh jeans…..i’ve given up on them for the time being. it’s so much trouble to buy jeans online, even if you think you “know” what your size is. everything fits differently…
yay to Rachel!! I saw that on instagram 😉
Grechen Reiter says
oh lisa….i’ve said this for the better part of a decade (?) but you ALWAYS know exactly what to say. “regrets make for weak spots” is what i needed to hear rn. i am an indecisive person (surprise surprise LOL) and have only just come to realize how much space regret takes up. it is DRAINING.
Grechen Reiter says
i think my mother has said that same thing 🙂
it’s true though! sometimes it feels like the days drag, but then i look back and wonder wear the months have gone…
i’m very glad to be able to enjoy him as much as i can. i wake up everyday feeling lucky.
Grechen Reiter says
thank you !!!
Grechen Reiter says
thanks beth 🙂
The black crane long dress is like the quilt dress, very long, hits 2 inches above my ankles in size small (I’m 5’6), cocoon shape and tapers at the bottom. My only complaint is that had to stretch the bottom hem by ‘breaking’ it so it’s wide enough where I can walk properly. Now it’s super comfy to walk in. The material is a terry cotton – a textured brush cotton underneath while it’s smooth on the outside, just like a sweatshirt.