Raquel Allegra slip dress | in white at La Garconne
Only Hearts second skins slip (underneath)
T by Alexander Wang cardigan | so very old…
Margot Wolf necklace
Everlane Petra tote | purchased with credits from Everlane
Robert Clergerie Frazzia Sandals | on sale at La Garconne
Wow. I’m feeling so conflicted and frustrated lately. What else is new?? I know I don’t have to do it, but it’s tough taking/seeing photos of yourself all the time. On difficult days, you struggle with the thoughts “is THIS (the photo) how I really look?” or is “how I see myself in the mirror how I really look?” Or is it some combination of the two? Or is it all an illusion? Does it really matter anyway????
I don’t want to get sucked down the rabbit hole of that never-ending argument today, so I’ll just say that I didn’t want to post this outfit, and don’t even want to wear the slip dress anymore, or any dress that shows my legs, after seeing the photos. But I’m posting it, and I’m wearing it. So there.
I will say that I wish I hadn’t bought the dress, or at least had taken it back before I shortened the straps on it. But I fell in love with the IDEA of the dress more than I did with the dress ON ME, so I’m paying my stupid tax on that one. Or not, if I just make myself wear it anyway. Because I do love it; especially the frayed hem, and layering it with other things. It’s really cool with loafers and a cashmere cardigan. And the quality/workmanship is amazing, as I know after shortening the straps myself. whoa. I just have to get past seeing/baring my legs.
As if it wasn’t enough that I made a “mistake” purchasing this dress, I also had a mishap with another purchase, the Only Hearts slip. I ordered two slips from Shopbop, this one and a Commando slip. The Only Hearts slip is a bit too small on me, so I was going to send it back, packaged it up and everything not 10 minutes after receiving it. But I forgot to grab the tag off my nightstand to re-attach (it was safety-pinned on and I’d taken it off so I could try the slip on underneath something) it and the next thing I knew, I found it shredded on the stairs. Dagny. Ugh.
So, now I have to keep the slip, and I did wear it with this dress, and I will wear it – it works, and it’s comfortable, but not the greatest slip ever. Because it’s small, it slides around and twists so it doesn’t look right underneath this particular dress, but it will work under my Acne Studios dress and many other dresses. I do like the Commando slip very much (it’s compressive, but not too), but think I’ll send it back, because I don’t need both.
As I have said over and over again, this is a journey, which means there will be some slip-ups along the way. Thankfully, this is nothing life-threatening, and has at least taught me two important lessons: 1. I have enough short skirts/dresses 2. be more careful about where I put things!
Oh!! I forgot to mention I’m experimenting a bit with co-washing (washing my hair only with conditioner), inspired by Ariana from Paris-to-go. I only really did it once, and one other time I just used water, but I’m not sure it’s for me; I’ve found it leaves my hair sort of weighed down looking, and dry. I might try a light leave-in conditioner instead of my Fekkai though, before I give up all together. Has anyone ever tried that before? What did you think?
You know what? I love how honest you are – and I think you look wonderful. Once I found your site, it really did help me fine tune what works and what does not. And to buy less, but better quality. You did a great thing for me, personally. I also love how you show life isn’t perfect – mine certainly isn’t either, but we make it through, don’t we? And one thing to encourage you – I have shared your site with my sisters and they are sharing it as well – it’s a “must read” every day, so please know you are doing a great job which gives pleasure and a “yup – been there and so has someone else, thank God” experience.
thank you so much becky! I really appreciate your comment, and that you’ve shared my blog with your sisters (hi becky’s sisters!!) – it helps me so much to know that i can share my struggles and that they resonate with people. you’re right; just knowing that there is someone else out there somewhere who struggles also, make everything seem a little more manageable. and yes, we do make it through 🙂
I actually really like this dress on you! I think the knee length is flattering. Don’t be so hard on yourself! I am always drawn to slip dresses, but I can’t wear them because I need a bra with straps. I *think* I’ve finally learned that lessons, but it’s taken a long time. My fashion mission this month is to find a good large-busted racerback bra so I can comfortably wear the racerback tanks I keep buying. I know a lot of people just wear bra straps that show, but I can’t do it.
oh, i’m pretty picky about straps showing also, but i can do a strapless bra most of the time (i’m VERY SMALL!!) so that does the trick for me. although i don’t find them very comfortable. racerback seems to be such a challenge; i have a couple of racerback bras, but with certain dresses/tanks they still show! i’m with you on “regular” bra straps showing under racerback things though, that is a huge pet peeve!!
and thank you 🙂
I have a really hard time finding a good racerback style too! (they all seem to be padded and/or balconette – and I’m 36 or 38F so who needs that?) I just got a couple Glamorise from Amazon – one a decent racerback, I’m hoping. But when not – I use the little heart shape plastic clips (I get mine at Target) that pull the bra straps together in the back. Depending on the profile of the shirt/dress, that often works.
Grechen – I love the way you look but totally understand not liking what you see in photographs!!! And the main reason I read your blog is your honesty in how you are approaching all the aspects of life you share with us!
Hi Grechen – (as always), I think you look great and really like this on you. And still, completely understand and appreciate your honesty!
Hi, Grechen! I think there’s simpler way to look at things: would you get a haircut that doesn’t suit your face just because you like it on someone else and then keep getting it and complain? People should pick what suits their bodies, we all have short comings here and there and buy accordingly. Nothing’s wrong with that. Same with cosmetics – a lipstick that you like the color of, but looks bad on you, your skin tone, etc.
It is a journey as you said, thanks for your honesty…
wanted to share my experience with water-only shampooing – it’s been the best! I stopped using shampoo and all hair products almost two years ago. Previously, my hair was always falling in my face, fluffy/frizzy and styling it was taking too much time. Now, I scrub it in the shower with fingernails and hot water, blow it dry, comb it during the day (scraping my scalp to stimulate the oil down the hair shaft) – and it looks like magazine hair, everyday. Shiny, soft, resilient. I didn’t even have that initial greasy feeling – maybe because my hair was dried out. If you give it a shot, do it all the way and give it a couple weeks for the oil to normalize. Good luck!
I think your look great! I need to wear my slip dresses, or else sell them on Poshmark or the like. As for co-washing–I do it. I only use shampoo once a week or so. I find that for me it’s important to avoid products with dimethicone or the like–which are in a LOT of conditioners, for example, as well as leave-in conditioners. The silicones can really dry your hair out if you’re not washing them out with shampoo. Use an all-natural conditioner of some sort and you might have better results. And check your styling products to see what’s in them. I have taken to using all Living Proof stuff since they are silicone-free.
Those compression slips look fairly promising so I’ve book marked them 🙂
I’ve tried to do the, day 1 “wash hair”, day 2 “use conditioning shampoo (like Wen). Like you’ve mentioned .. the conditioner or shampoo conditioner weighs down my hair so I gave that up.
Now I just take a look at my hair on day 2 and decide what to so with it – let it go or wash. Seems to work.
Monica.
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I have been “co-washing” my hair for over 10 years. I rarely shampoo my hair (like maybe once a year,) However, I have ONLY gotten good results with one co-wash product: DevaCurl No-Poo. (Not really a conditioner, but a non-foaming creamy cleanser.)
I’m not saying that the method doesn’t work with other products; however, I do think the key is to find the one that works with your hair. I lucked out and pretty early on found the one that works for me. I never had problems with limp or greasy-feeling hair.
For what it’s worth, my tried-and-true combination is DevaCURL No-Poo with DevaCARE (not DevaCurl) conditioner. The DevaCare line is more moisturizing, which is what I need for my curly hair.
Another thing to note is that some silicone products can build up on your hair and sometimes (not always) refuse to wash out with non-foaming cleansers/conditioners. So you might try using a clarifying shampoo, and then trying the co-wash again, to see if it works any better.
I am still able to use silicone styling products; I just have to be careful not to overdo it.
During the summer I do a combination organic, non-silicone, non-dimethicone etc. shampoo about twice a week and co-washing the other days. In cooler weather, I only co-wash. The trick seems to be finding a conditioner that feels tingly, like a tea tree one. Co-washing’s really helped with my super sensitive skin and my flaky scalp! Plus it saves time.
I love that dress! The frayed hem is great and you paired it so beautifully with the cardigan. I just looked at it in white and I’m really tempted. So nice that it’s made in the US.
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thank you ariana!! i love it too, and i played around with it a bit yesterday in my closet and think it can be very versatile for me, layered especially. it’s great to layer over leggings and with a cashmere cardigan, or with jeans. there are so many ways to wear it…
the dress is very nicely made as well, as i learned when i shortened the straps. it’s handmade, so there is a lot of attention to detail paid. oh, and even though the hem is frayed, there are double stitches right above so it can’t fray very far!
thank you so much for your input! can you share what brands you use?
thank you so much for your input! i have a lot more experimenting to do, it seems!
thanks joanna! i’ve tried some living proof, but not all. i will look into it again…i just need a texturizer mostly, for the ends. i really just use hairdresser’s oil and something for texture and that’s it…
thanks libby!! do you use any styling products at all? is your hair long?
SO TRUE! i thought about this all day yesterday after i read your comment. and you’re so right. i don’t know why i hadn’t thought of it before that way. i try too hard sometimes to make things work for me that clearly don’t. i don’t know what it is that i’m trying to do…well, i do know. but i have such a hard time stopping.
thanks chris. i love it too 🙂 i just need to remember that!
For shampoo, John Masters Organics Rosemary Lavendar shampoo. It has to be shaken vigorously, and there was a learning curve for me (it doesn’t foam that much), but I’m now on my third bottle. For conditioner, Tea Tree Tingle from Trader Joe’s. I love the smell and the way it feels on the scalp.
thank you!! i’ve been wanting to try john masters organic…
Photography…UGH! Self-portraits? Even worse! I’ve had some pics taken this week of me with my visiting parents and because I’m the closest person to the camera, I appear to be a beached Beluga whale. I hate it when people think they can take ONE freakin’ picture and it will be enough. The element of surprise is not good. So I demand veto power!
I love the dress on you. You look good. Period. But you’re the one who has to like it. Exercise that veto power!
Amen to that! Lesson learned (Over and over again!) 🙂
I’m scattered tonight, so I didn’t answer your question: WEN 613 once a week if my hair feels sun-scorched ( even tho I use a protectant product by Alterna in the sun), and Purely Perfect, which I have yet to open. I’ll let you know when I try it. I alternate between co-cleanser and poo.
oh, i’ve wondered about purely perfect.
i love the dress, actually. i just don’t love my LEGS in the dress LOL
i do think i will wear it a ton layered with jeans/pants and a sweater though, it’s more of a “me” look that way anyway!
and even though i’m absolutely certain you did NOT look like a beluga whale, they are my favorite whale if that’s any consolation. they’re the most interesting 🙂
Hi Grechen! So I absolutely adore the dress on you and so much so I’m trying to find it online! It looks like it’s sold out everywhere in black in a 2. Any ideas? 🙂
call or email ([email protected]) V.O.D. here in dallas (that’s where i got mine) and see if they have one : (214) 754-0644
let me know if you have any luck there, but i’ll keep looking for more places and let you know!!
Thanks, Grechen!