J Brand Lovestory jeans | size 30, several years old
Calypso cotton gauze top | a few years old, similar by James Perse at Shopbop
Rag & Bone Quinn sandals | true to size
3.1 Phillip Lim large Ryder satchel
I hope you don’t mind that I write a lot on my outfit posts, and that I share personal bits of my life here, because this is going to be a slightly random post, and likely to be all over the place…but what else is new?? I guess I do that a lot!
Anyway, I chose this outfit yesterday because I wanted to try these jeans again and see if I could wear them with my Rag & Bone sandals. I can, kind of. The hem drags a bit, but if I hem these anymore, I won’t be able to wear these jeans with much of anything. And I’d pulled out this Calypso top from a box in my “second” closet recently to see if I’d wear it again this summer. It’s not in the best shape anymore, and it’s quite big on me, but I think it still works, and I love the “popover” style for summer. I’ve worn it a ton in the years that I’ve had it, so this is something I’d like to find a replacement for. That James Perse top I linked to is a contender…
It turned out to be rather ironic, this outfit, because my husband and I watched Carrie last night (he had never seen it, and wasn’t particularly impressed!), and I was struck by how seventies fashion always seems to come back in style during the summer; flared jeans, denim skirts, etc., the sort of boho look that we equate with the warm weather and freedom of summer. I like it. But I also feel quite “old” when I wear this silhouette. I guess because it’s come back around? And feels dated to me? I like the look, and on others it seems more modern, but on me…I don’t know.
And now for something completely different…see my saddlebag there in that first picture? For about 5 seconds I thought about photoshopping it out, or not even publishing it at all, but then I thought that would be ridiculous, and anyway it gives me an opportunity to give you an update on my weight loss progress (or lack thereof, as it were) and where I go from here. My saddlebags are now the bane of my existence. It used to be my hips, or my calves, of my butt, but I’ve come to term with those. Saddlebags, no way. I cannot deal with them, which is why when I wear my James Perse skirts & dresses I ALWAYS wear spanx. I have to because, well, you see why.
They will never go away. They will shrink a little, but they will never disappear. I could be thin, and I’d still have those saddlebags; they’re just part of how I’m shaped. I do accept that, but I also want to work harder to shrink them. Since I lost weight originally last year, I’ve pretty much maintained my weight loss. I gained 5-6 pounds, so now I’m about 155, which is still at least 30 pounds more than I’d like to be, or more than my “ideal” weight for my height.
First, I’m INCREDIBLY proud of myself that I’ve been able to maintain (more or less) my weight loss for almost a year. I’ve NEVER been able to do that before – Pure Barre FTW!! I’ve sort of paid attention to what I eat, most of the time, but I haven’t “needed” to while I’ve done Pure Barre 4 times a week. Now, though, I want to see what happens to my body if I lose 25 more pounds. I want to see what it looks like, how it feels, what I can do with it. I’ve never been “thin” or even at a “reasonable” weight for my height for very long. I’ve lost weight over the years – a lot of it – but I’ve always put it back on and then had to lose it again. Since I’ve done it rather slowly this time, I’ve kept it off and now I can concentrate on losing more, instead of losing the same weight AGAIN. Whoa.
It’s going to be very hard now to lose weight; not that it wasn’t always, but now I’ll need to eat even LESS to lose the same amount of weight as before. But I know I can do it – and in the summer I sort of always want to eat less anyway. I’m really looking forward to seeing more changes, and the feeling of accomplishment that will come from reaching my goal. I’m also building more cardio back in to my exercise regime on my days off from Pure Barre. Ultimately, I’d like to start running again, and once I’ve maintained my weight loss, run a marathon? We’ll see….I’ve been so inspired by Frances’ accomplishment running a marathon at sixty!
Anyway, that’s sort of where I am in my journey, in case you’ve been following along! I never thought I could change my body as much as I already have, so I can’t wait to keep doing it. I want my body to FEEL lean, and efficient, and healthy, and like it can do anything. As I get older, that’s everything to me. I treat it like shit sometimes, I know I do, and I beat up on it, on my saddlebags, my thighs, my calves…but I love it, and I want it to keep carrying me through my life for a long time to come…