Yesterday, Aja pointed out that I have “stubby sausage legs.”
Huh. I’d never realized that before! Thanks so much, Aja, for pointing that out. What would I do without such constructive criticism; I had no idea!
Honestly, if anyone thinks they can say anything about my body that is MORE hurtful than what I’ve said about it to myself for 30+ years, they’re wrong; the nasty voices in my own head are pretty good at pointing out my “flaws.” Been there, done that.
And so what if I do have sausage legs (and flabby arms, by the way)? Perhaps I do. Yes, my legs are thick. And my arms are flabby. Absolutely. And? The point is?
What would she have me do?
Cover my legs? okay, so I’ll cover my legs, but only with straight, boot cut or slightly flared jeans/pants, and only with heels, so my short, thick legs will appear longer and leaner. Oh, and the heels I wear, should definitely not have an ankle strap, or be a low wedge, or even platform heels. I should wear a single sole shoe; a pointed toe pump with at least a 3″ heel is the most leg lengthening, so I should wear that.
But whatever I do, I should be careful not to cover myself completely, so as not to hide my body altogether. I definitely shouldn’t wear any oversized tops, or things that don’t show my waist. I can show my shoulders, but not my upper arms, because they’re flabby. Cardigans or sweaters should not be so long as to drown me, or make my short legs appear short.
If I don’t want to cover my legs, I should at least wear an a-line skirt, because with my wider hips and legs, it’s the most flattering shape. And I should absolutely not wear flats, because they make my short legs look….short.
Moving on from my sausage legs to my flabby arms, I should probably not wear sleeveless shirts or tank tops. Or cap sleeve t-shirts because they just make my upper arms look bigger. Maybe I should just cover my arms altogether and wear long sleeves? But then, a bateau neck tee is ideal, because the wider neckline balances out my hips.
Man. I get tired just thinking about all those rules. Good thing I don’t give a fuck. I did care. Sometimes I still do, just a little bit. I have thought such horrible things about my body that I couldn’t even leave the house some days; I didn’t think I should subject the public to my “sausage legs” and “flabby arms.” Why should anyone else have to see my ugly body?
But now, thankfully, I appreciate my body for what it is: a sturdy, beautiful, healthy, strong, vessel for the most important part of me.
I choose to share it here, my body, and what’s inside, and I understand that I dress in ways that many people find un-flattering, and quite un-attractive, but I choose not to care what those people think. I DO care about being comfortable and expressing my personality through my clothing. And more than that, I care about being kind and helpful.
I think that’s enough.
Interesting analysis H! Honestly as soon as I read the judgemental comments and noticed her avatar I wondered if she was suffering from postpartum depression and or mood swings. Women say and do crazy things in that period.
The site has been taken down and whatever was going on with this poor person/woman/boy/?? will be a mystery best forgotten. Keep up the awesome work Gretchen!!!!.
YAAAAASSSSSSS WOMAN! And yet again you and I are on the same wavelength, I wrote a piece this weekend that went live today, went in my Feedly and BAM! I love your attitude, I love your style, and I love how you addressed this. Keep on being the BAMF you are. <3
Alison´s last blog post ..What is Flattering?
Having just spent ten days with my grandson who took great pleasure in joking about my “cobbly-wobblies” (my name for my jiggly flesh), I know how easy it would be to go into negative mode. In fact, I told him that after seventy-one years, my arms & legs have earned the right to relax! It was our private joke. Lest he miss the real point, I challenged him to an arm wrestle & won. I also told him that I hoped he would live a long enough life to earn his own.
Although your style is not mine, I enjoy seeing how you put things together & how you wear your style with grace & delight. It’s also a nice way to be introduced to other products. But what I really come for, is who you are…a warm, thoughtful, very human being. It is like going for quick coffee with an admired friend & leaving feeling energized for the rest of the day.
We don’t all have to look alike or dress from the same arbitrary “rules”. Like my cobbly-wobblies, surface appearance only goes so far, as my grandson learned. It is not who we are, just how we look. And If you choose to dress in any particular way, more power to you. Just do it with zest & gusto & if others don’t like it, then let them howl, while you continue in not giving a fuck.
I think you look great! just catching up on the week’s posts! love your attitude and perspective 🙂
I’m a bit of a lurker on your blog, have only commented a couple of times. What a horrible thing for the commenter to have said – don’t take it to heart. I follow your blog precisely because your shape is a lot like mine, except that you are more petite than I am so I can’t actually order a lot of what you wear (I’m 5’10” and a size 16ish.) However, I admire your commitment to wearing sustainable sourced clothing, and I relate to your struggles with over-shopping.
At the end of the day, that bitter, angry, jealous commenter has her punishment: she has to be the person she is, which has to be a miserable existence.
1. I love that dress and skimmed the post a few times to find the link, major emoji heart eyes.
2. I so admire and look up to your confidence and attitude to wear what you LOVE, rather than wearing whatever the heck some magazine says to wear. So, thank you Grechen for that and for this post!
3. Your candid blogging about that comment and not deleting the comment makes you the most honest blogger out there now even more. Thank you for not being the normal blogger who would delete and cry for pity back pats.
thank you ashley! the dress is james perse, it’s the cotton gauze shirt dress from last year – sold out, except maybe on ebay?
I love you. You are amazing!
thanks jillian 🙂
For what it’s worth I adore your style. I find it simple, clean and classy. I especially love to see what you have to say about my favourite label, James Perse. I’m positively sure there is no perfect woman walking this earth. Hopefully that was just some bonehead having a bad day and playing around on their computer looking to start trouble. You always look fantastic. Keep up the great work! Thanks for all of your lovely pictures and advice-
Hi! I’ve just read this after Catherine included it in her round-up today. All I can say is brava!! What a brilliant post and congratulations on loving and respecting your body for the amazing machine it is. Love Lizzy xxx (whatlizzyloves) xxx
thank you!
I love this response. My thoughts to the world exactly.
thank you kathleen – and thanks for visiting 🙂