Rag & Bone Nadine skirt | size 10 (purchased with credits I earn at Shopbop)
James Perse slub crew neck tee | size 2 (burgundy version for sale at SLOWRE)
No6 Clogs wedges* | mine are several years old, newer version on a higher wedge
I’m going to be honest here (haha! what else is new?) and tell you I’m really frustrated this morning. Since I took and looked at these pictures last night, I’ve been questioning my decision to buy/keep this skirt. And it’s because of my legs. I don’t like to look at them.
But man, I love this skirt, and have worn it already 3 times since getting it back from the tailor late last week. So, I think the only thing I can do at this point is just keep wearing the skirt and tell that stupid voice in my head that keeps giving me all sorts of reasons I shouldn’t show my legs to shut it. Damn that voice! It keeps trying to convince me I should just stick to wearing pants and/or long skirts, and forget about anything that shows my legs, because, I mean, look at them!!
See??
(and adding to that, I received my Zady order and tried on the silk shirt dress this morning – I was SO EXCITED about this – and it’s too small in the hips. UGH. I’m really really disappointed because it’s a great dress, good length for me, and seems well made, but even the large would probably JUST barely fit my hips. And even though I know I should sell it immediately and forget about it, I’m also half convinced that if I just lose weight, maybe it will fit by next spring/summer. Story of my life…just lose more weight, and then…)
Anyway, I had this skirt tailored in the waist and a little down the back to bring it in a bit since I had to size up to a 10 to fit my hips. It’s been awhile since I bought a denim skirt, but I should have remembered that they’re not easy for me to fit into; I have to either wear them really low on my hips or get them tailored in the waist to avoid the inches-wide gap there. I still have a waist gap in this skirt, but it’s smaller than it used to be. And quite frankly, it’s a challenge to style, because it really doesn’t work for me with anything untucked, or with anything over it. The way Shopbop styled it? no way that works on me, it would drown me – I have to show my waist.
This is exactly how I’ve worn it so far, with this t-shirt, tucked, and once with my Vince sneakers and then with my Birkenstock Arizona sandals. I also like it very much with my Everlane cropped cashmere sweater, and it works with my cropped Acne sweatshirt, but that’s about it.
NBD because I’ll wear it – I want to wear it – a lot between now and really cold weather. It’s such a unique skirt, and very well made (in the US). And I LOVE the tie-waist style without actually having to tie something around my waist (which I used to do all the time anyway…). The pockets are awesome, obviously, but they definitely stick out from my hips when I don’t have my hands in them. Before I cut the pockets open they did not stick out though.
I do not regret keeping this skirt, and I WILL wear it, negative voices in my head be damned. They have been getting quieter, but lately, as I try to acquire more things I LOVE vs. only things that are practical (and black) or “flattering” for me, they are more frequent. I think I’ll try countering them by talking to myself, and telling myself the truth: that I am beautiful, my legs are beautiful, and I can wear what I want.
I almost deleted all of the above and just left you with my thoughts on the skirt, emotion-less and without all of extra self-image baggage. But I couldn’t; I’m not the type of blogger who can just wear things and not talk about how I FEEL in them, which sometimes leads to my giving voice to my insecurities and body image issues. And I’m not sorry for that.
*I’m pretty sure these are going up in SLOWRE sometime very soon…I don’t give them as much love as they deserve.
This skirt looks great on you.
And remember–clothes not fitting doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you–it’s just the clothes. There is no standard sizing and I’m disgusted by how small some of the designer and indie lines run. And I’m refusing to let myself feel bad about it anymore.
I love the way that skirt looks on you. We do all have to come to love our bodies, but even when we know that, it can be hard. No matter what I say about the strength the grace, won’t matter. So let’s leave aside the issue of your legs for now, for today – because that skirt makes it possible. The detailing, the flow, the silhouette – we don’t really even see your legs. We see your waist. We see your face. Please wear the skirt without any self-consciousness at all. <3 And know that you are not alone in sorting out this issue of how our style plays with our bodies.
This skirt looks SO lovely on you! The tattoo and the combination with the simple tee just makes it perfect. If you walked down the street here in Chicago’s Wicker Park, you’d receive at least three compliments per half mile.
yes, i agree. don’t know if you remember, but my tagline when i first started was “it’s not you, it’s your closet.” meaning, it’s not you, it’s your clothes, and finding the right clothes/tailoring them to fit right is the key to everything. lol, should try to keep that in mind…
thanks alex 🙂
lisa…you always bring me back to reality . in the best way . thank you for that 🙂
Ironically, when I was looking at the photo on your main page (before I clicked over here and read your thoughts), I was thinking “wow, if my legs looked like hers, I’d wear skirts more often.” My calves and ankles are nice enough (wish I could say that about my thighs!), but my legs are So. Pale. How did you get such a nice color?
thanks alison! i am basically outside ALL THE TIME with the dog and usually wearing short lululemon running skirts. but my skin darkens up really easily for some reason, it’s always been that way…
Grechen, I love that you talk about how you feel in your clothes — it’s the main reason I read! Or at least one of the main reasons. Self-conciousness is so tremendously difficult. I don’t know why it’s so hard to quell those voices, but often they won’t be silent, at least for me. I think, oh….my torso is too short! My thighs are jiggly! My ankles look fat. And a million other things. Sometimes I believe it’s a unique form of torture to subject ourselves to looking at photos of ourselves in clothes. And yet…I can’t stop? There is something weirdly fascinating about it, and maybe that’s just a result of loving clothes and loving to THINK about ourselves in our clothes and what it all means, but it can be supremely frustrating. Anyway, I digress. You look great in this and in everything you post. I adore your style — you’re one of my style icons!
I have to be honest, the area that draws my attention is the poor tailoring on the skirt. {Of course, I only have the picture to assess, so take that into consideration.} The waistband looks rolled in the back, like a piece of elastic was added and is bunching. The pockets are gaping. Overall the skirt to me is quite ill fitting. Sorry. I blame the tailor.
On the positive note, your calves are nicely shaped, smooth and toned! If you don’t like them, don’t focus on them. You appear to have many other positive attributes and joys in life. Your readers appreciate you! Those things are worth your attention!
you might be referring to the last picture, where i have the tie tied too tight across my hips; it looks terrible that way, granted, but it was the only picture i had that showed any of the skirt from the side, so i included it. i don’t see what you’re mentioning in any of the other pictures, honestly.
you’re right though, about focusing on the positive. i do try to do that most of the time. the negatives sneak through more often than i’d like though, still. but i should not give them more attention than they deserve, that is true…
I think you and your legs look lovely in this skirt! I hope you keep the skirt and continue to wear it and enjoy it. I too have “thicker” legs, and I hate to use that word because I think it’s a bit pejorative…it seems to imply having the “wrong” kinds of legs versus the “right” kinds(?). Intellectually, we know that there’s nothing wrong with certain body parts of ours, but that self-consciousness, which is an irrational thought, is so pervasive. I also need to work on silencing those self-doubting ideas about what I can and can’t wear, and I know that I and many of your other readers appreciate your putting yourself out there by acknowledging and exploring these negative voices – a lot of us have them, and it’s nice for us to be honest with and supportive of each other. Have a great day Grechen!
I was going to say the same thing– the skirt looks great on you and my eye is completely drawn to the waist. I really don’t even notice your legs (which look absolutely fine by the way!). So glad you post your emotional baggage and not just the cut and dried version. 🙂
I think the skirt looks great on you, and go you for telling that body-nonacceptance voice to shush!
I love the skirt! It looks great on you (including the legs). I think this is a wonderful warm weather option to wear instead of shorts. I could also see it as transitional with tights and a sweater.
The struggle is real with modern cut skirts. I can’t wear tailored skirts at all because they’re either too tight at the hips or too large at the waist. Tailoring is a good idea and I really love this skirt on you.
Please wear this skirt (and outfit) often because I think you look fantastic. You pull the entire outfit together with the white shirt, and the beautiful clogs. Others have already said it, but your legs look great and so do you, Grechen!
Hi Grechen,
I’m out here. I get it. Our calf and waist measurements are almost exactly the same. I’m taller at 5’5, but have a very short inseam. You have more booty, I have more boob?
It’s hard liking and enjoying clothes so much when they almost never fit. Especially in such a non typical way. I get mad at myself for not becoming a skilled seamstress!
Do we have to come to love our bodies? (Hi Lisa) Life would be easier yes, but I don’t know…
At almost 50 I can say there’s been moments of acceptance and appreciation, but man are they few and far between. Maybe it is all about controlling the voices.
Thanks for sharing and leaving in all the emotional stuff. I like the skirt so much more on you than the model. It’s casual, yet put together looking, practical (pockets, demin) and more special than jeans. Perfect for our still very hot Texas weather!
thanks henny!!
i will wear it 🙂
yes – i don’t know why i haven’t worn skirts/tights much the last few winters, but i’ll try again with this skirt.
yes! thanks for your comment 🙂 glad to know you’re out there too, or here in texas, rather !
i wonder if it is possible for us to completely love our bodies – i do love my body, in general, and most of the time, but still get frustrated at times, so “controlling the voices” and figuring out ways to work around it are good options for now…
Hi Grechen, can you help me? I also placed an order with Zady after you posted about their 50% off sale and it’s been over a week and there’s been no shipping confirmation or anything. I have already been charged on my credit card for this order but when I log into my account, the order does not show up! I have tried emailing them but there’s been no reply, just radio silence! Do you think there is a way to contact them by phone? (Their website just lists email addresses and I’ve tried them all.) Thanks so much for your help!!
Grechen, you already said it, but just in case, I’ll say it, too. You’re beautiful, your legs are beautiful, and you can wear what you want. Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves to reframe our thoughts. I have tried to do that since having two children and then growing out my grey hair, and it really does help. That skirt is awesome and I love the details. Please keep wearing it!
thank you catherine 🙂
i think about growing out my grey, but i’m not quite ready yet, i love that you’ve done it….
I agree, a hundred percent, with what Lisa said. You look lovely in the skirt.
Gretchen
I love it that you are so honest about your feelings regarding your body. We all have them. We are not perfect.
How about some sheer navy hosiery and a bit of heel to slim your ankles/ calf. Also as Winter approaches you could find some navy suede long boots.
Love the skirt. It looks comfortable.
You look lovely! It’s a beautiful skirt and the details make it much more interesting than an average piece.
I read something recently – I can’t remember where – that really changed my opinion on this, and basically said, if you really love something, who cares if it’s “flattering”. That you don’t have to adhere to the old-fashioned “What not to wear” days, with their countless rules about how to disguise bits of you, and how to enhance other bits, and why should you.
That really resonated with me, and since then when I try on something I really love, I try to spend less time peering critically at my so-called problem areas, and more time thinking about how it will make me feel and whether I’ll enjoy wearing it.