Goldsign Glam skinny jeans | purchased with my credits from Shopbop
Splendid 1×1 t-shirt
Vince Blair haircalf sneakers | link goes to the Berlin style, mine are more than a year old
Inhabit Cashmere turtleneck | very, very old
I know…I used the “p” word, and I don’t believe in “perfect,” but when you’re spending more than $250 on a pair of jeans, they damn well better be as close to perfect as they can get. And I wanted these Goldsign jeans to be it, I really really really wanted them to be it, but they’re not.
I tried really hard, actually. On Friday when I first received them, I rushed to put them on and could not button them. I had to do that thing where you lie down on the bed and wiggle around for a while to zip them up? You know what I mean? But they zipped, and then I did some squats in them, and proceeded to wear them around the house for a bit to see how they fit after.
They definitely fit better with some wear, but they were still snug, especially in the thighs. In case you haven’t noticed, or I haven’t said it enough, I have “substantial” legs. Usually my calf area is the hardest to fit, but with these it was the thighs. They fit beautifully over my calves, which is impossible to find, and which is also why I really thought I could make these work…or I wanted these to work.
But because they were tight at the thigh, they didn’t fit right at the crotch, and every time I would sit and then get up, or walk around, they would start falling down and I’d have to pull them back up again. And they gave me a little muffin top.
BUT THE CALVES!!! They fit my calves. They sucked everything in (I like my jeans TIGHT!) And the denim is exquisite. They’re the combination of cotton/stretch (98/2%) that I love, and the wash is exactly what I wanted, and the 26 inch inseam is exactly right for my short legs. But….
I almost decided to keep them. I kept putting them on and taking them off again, trying to convince myself I could make them work. I could bear with having to pull them up every time I moved, I could bear with the pulling in the thighs, I could bear with the muffin top, what if I lost more weight? Would they fit then? Should I just hold on to them? UGH. I started falling down THAT trap, and had to pull myself back up. What have I been trying to do the last few months? Why would I settle for a pair of jeans that don’t really fit me like they should?
Still, I got sucked into the idea that I’m never going to be able to find a pair of jeans that fit me well, so I will HAVE to settle. Right now, I’m wearing my !iT Collective jeans they sent to me a year or so ago, and they’re good, but much too stretchy for my preferences, and as my body has changed even more the last couple of months, they’re saggy in the seat, and don’t fit me like I want them to. I wear them, because they work, and they’re “good enough” – but I do want to find something better to replace them.
I love the way these look on me, but they’re not the right jeans for me. End of story. They’re ALMOST the right jeans for me, but not quite, so I’ll keep trying. I won’t settle for something less than “perfect” in this instance. And “perfect” right now, means jeans that fit in my waist, hips, calves & thighs. I’m going to try the Goldsign Virtual style next, which has a higher rise, but not the wash I want, and then keep cycling through to find jeans that work. I believe Goldsign holds the most promise, as I’ve had 4 pairs of Goldsign jeans in the past and have always been most impressed with the quality; they’re well worth the full price since I’ve had my oldest pair for 10 years now (they’re shorts now, but still…).
In conclusion, the jeans are on their way back to Shopbop. Even though I don’t believe in perfect, I also don’t think we should settle for “less than” – whatever that means for us. I almost did that. I almost said essentially that I didn’t “deserve” any better, and I should go ahead and just stick with these, because they’re pretty close to what I want.
But no. I’m not going to do that anymore.
How do you determine what’s good enough and what’s not? What’s close enough to work for you? Have you ever kept something that was close-but-not-quite perfect?
Is it possible to try going up a size? That might help the muffin top, and help the fit at the crotch / thighs. Or not.
Pants (esp. jeans) are probably the area where I am the strictest about getting as close to “perfect” as possible in terms of how they fit and feel–i.e., if they are binding in the waist and don’t fit comfortably there, I do not keep them. Or if they don’t stay up. Or if they sag too much in the knees. Never ever buy something thinking that you might lose more weight and then it would fit properly–you will just feel depressed every time you wear them, or not actually wear them and feel more depressed about it.
i thought about it, but then i don’t think they’d be as “snug” as i want them to be. and i think they’d stretch out then TOO much. but i don’t know. i wISH i could try them on first!!!
i hear you on the weight-loss thing…i have gotten sucked into that trap so many times…and i almost did it again.
i AM losing weight, so really, i shouldn’t be buying much right now, but i really just want a pair of jeans that fit me like i want them to. and why shouldn’t i have that? if i get them just a bit snug, but that they still FIT, even if i lose 15 more pounds, i don’t think it’ll be worth a whole size down.
I get it on the weight-loss thing–but it’s really worth it for your mental health and self esteem to get a pair of jeans that fit you now. And sometimes when you lose weight, your body proportions change in other ways, so the old style might not fit, so keep that in mind. Don’t go out and buy 10 pairs of jeans that fit you now, but you should have one pair, and not feel bad about it.
My “not quite perfect” items are a leather jacket and jeans.
The jacket, by Tahari, was on sale (discounted twice) at TK Maxx in UK (part of TJM in US) for £140 (about $200). I purchased it, got it home, and inside was the original price tag of $998. It fit, was great styling, looked modern, was black lined with midnight blue, and a steal. Should have been perfect but….under the arms and at the sides instead of leather were panels of some kind of stretch jersey fabric. I HATE that; yes I know it’s the modern thing but to me, a leather jacket should be ALL leather! For a week I dithered, finally took it back, and STILL (three months later) find myself thinking “I should have kept that jacket”.
The jeans are a steal (regular price £10, about $15) from a fashion store that I never go to for anything else. But the jeans are everything I want them to be, snug fit, skinny legs that still fit over my chunky calves, black with pockets where you want pockets, shrink back into shape after washing, and wear forever. I defy anyone to know they aren’t denim and don’t cost an arm and a leg. If I had $250 to spend, at the moment I wouldn’t replace my black $15 jeans!
I’m new here – have been dipping into your “minimal closet” series all summer but today I’ve been dipping into your blog. Great stuff, thanks you….and how you have changed since summer 2010!
yes, i’m definitely going to order the virtual skinny jeans when my credit shows back up at shopbop – hopefully by the time they do some BF/CM promo. but that’s the thing that’s so frustrating with shopbop – it takes FOREVER for returns to ship back (sometimes I’ve even sent something back the DAY I got it and still got charged the $10 for it arriving past 15 days) and then credit takes days after that. this time i sent it back priority mail instead of with the prepaid label, so we’ll see what happens…
Returned! Good girl! I think clothes should fit 99% perfect and if not, then there is always a seamstress .. lol. But if with a little wear around the house and you’re tugging and pulling .. then forget it, because who wants to put up with that?
Monica.
thanks for your comment roz!
i love it when you find something unexpected that turns out to be “perfect” – that doesn’t happen to me very often though….
you’re absolutely right monica !! i did even think about taking them to a tailor, but what would they do? it’s the thighs that’s the problem, and even if they could take the seam out there a bit, i’m sure it would be very expensive.
This is such a good question! I think of ‘perfect’ when it concerns a particular aesthetic or vibe that I want, for an outfit or a costume. For example, I recently thrifted a beautiful white blouse that looks exactly like something Elsa wore in the third Indiana Jones film. That adventurer type of look has been on my inspiration list for years, so to my way of thinking, the blouse is PERFECT, all caps. Even if the cuffs are a little big on my wrists, or the bottom button is a little tight at times 🙂
For fit, I try not to use the word ‘perfect’, because in truth, sometimes my body changes shape from day to day! Or, more often, my body is exactly the same, and my mindset and perceptions of how I look, are entirely different. So I try to hit a checklist instead: Am I comfortable in my own skin, with this item over it? Does it feel like ‘me’? Does it meet my aesthetic? Is this something I will reach for again and again? Am I fidgeting or continually adjusting the garment? If I walk in the door and plop down on the couch in front of the TV, do I want to keep this garment on? What is the care of this garment? Will it stain or tear easily? Is it at least a 9 out of 10 for quality and condition? Is this going to split my wears with something I truly love?
And – this is important to me – if this garment doesn’t tick off every box on my list, can I afford to keep it around as a stopgap until I find something better suited for my needs?
I am working on purging items that don’t tick off every box on the list.
Never compromise! Life is too short to have all of the good days made faintly less good because you’re wearing less than excellent things, and life is too long to be painfully draaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnn out wear less than excellent things.
hugs,
Janice
Damn!!! You look great in those jeans. I thought you were going to say, “These are the ones!” But you make a most valid point: If an item doesn’t feel good, or the fit is off, even a little, then it’s just not right.
I may have made this mistake with a White + Warren cashmere sweater that I ordered. It fits, but not like I wanted it to. I wanted a boyfriend fit, and I couldn’t wait, so I ordered what seemed “good enough” (Thers a trap in “good enough,” too, I think.). So, I’m going to return it, along with a Go Silk blouse in blush that I also thought was “good enough,” even though I never wear that color. Lesson learned the hard way. Again.
My items that have worked and have gotten a lot of wear are 2 Eileen Fisher items from ebay: A robe coat that I’m in love with, and a pair of ankle cropped black pants that have already paid for themselves! I should listen to my gut more often.
Gretchen –
although you’ve been a regular feature on my reading list for quite some time. this is my first comment, prompted – not by your excellent question but – by the accompanying photo. Wow! Although you’ve mentioned how much you enjoy your pure barre sessions, your pictures in front of the garage door have never even hinted that you have a strong, sculpted upper body! Ahh, enough hysteria – I agree with Jen. We’ve all done it, regretted it, and foresworn it. We all know we should dress the body we have as best we can. Don’t settle.
oh wow. thank you 🙂
yes, i work hard for my upper body too, but as i mentioned in a previous post, i’m covering it up more and more lately, not wearing “figure” showing/flattering tops as much as i probably should….which is why this looks so different. it’s the sweater!!
i know!!! that’s why i wanted to keep them so bad. i mean…they really do wonders for my legs, i think. but i would have been annoyed by having to adjust them all the time. i know it.
there is definitely a trap in good enough. i often find i settle for good enough when i could just wait and find “better” – but i want something NOW…
I thought the same thing Mamavalveeta03 did – that this was going to be an article singing the praises that you found the One Jean To Rule Them All! They look amazing on you – but I am totally with you. Continually having to re-adjust a garment drives me insane. It’s almost as bad as realizing that super-soft sweater makes you itch, once you get to work.
Seeing your pictures makes me wonder how many style bloggers out there actually wear and enjoy the outfits they put on? You look so perfect in 2-D. They always look so perfect in 2-D. Now I am wondering what their reality is like, and if they run back inside and rip those outfits off to put on something comfortable.
And they only seem to wear them ONCE, MaryBeth, which is why I’m here, with Grechen, where life is REAL.
i wish they were “the one jean”!!!
i honestly can’t speak to other style bloggers, although my impression is that some treat their outfit posts more like photo shoots – so yes, they probably can’t wait to get into something more comfortable! and for them, perhaps that’s what their readers want? many readers want magazine-style photos, lots of closeups, perfectly composed images, etc., and there are plenty of blogs that cater to that. mine just isn’t one of them.
sometimes maybe too real 😉
yes. yes. yes! i think about if i’d wear something on the plane, at home, to take the dog out, etc., and these jeans did NOT pass the “wear on the plane” test…and i definitely was fidgeting with it… i did love the way they looked though. very much, which is why i did hesitate to send them back. i wanted so badly to make them work!!
i love your last point about affording to keep it around as a stopgap until you find something better – that is a brilliant point! and so important to remember. if i think about it, i could not afford to keep these around until i found a better pair….
oh, and i love a good celestial print too!! that skirt is fabulous! and i loved your latest blog post about dancing. i do the same thing you did though…
Perfection doesn’t come naturally to me. I love to make decisions, and I don’t have the patience to wait until I find the ‘perfect’ thing. I’m trying to find the perfect jeans, and I keep thinking I have, but after a few wearings, I realize that I haven’t. Sheesh. Luckily, I sew, so I’m working on making the perfect pair — still a challenge!
Echoed by all above…these jeans look fantastic! I am curvy on the bottom too and find that I have to wear jeans around the house a bit before committing as well…I hate having to constantly hike them up. So frustrating when they only work when you’re standing still! I had a pair of Goldsign Virtual jeans that I loved, but they wore out within a year or so…probably because they were a thin stretch denim. Despite avoiding the dryer, the elastase just didn’t hold up. The 98% cotton 2% elastane ones look like a better choice fabric wise…I love Goldsign jeans too!
Real. Authentic. Photos not taken by a professional photographer and airbrushed within an inch of their lives. Not made up like you’re going to meet the Queen. Not posed in some supposedly candid “Oh, this old thing?” fake pose.
I’ve looked at those blogs, briefly, and I choose your integrity, honesty and “realness”…not to mention that you’re really good at choosing fashion that works, with a great eye, in what I’d call simply chic style.
Keep on doing what you’re doing! (We’ll grow with you!)
oh! thanks for the endorsement of the virtuals…i can’t wait to try them, although i’m a little nervous of the 10-inch rise!! i do want a higher rise jean, but that’s quite high. and i definitely think that denim with less cotton doesn’t hold up as well over time, how could it? besides the fact that i don’t like it very much, cotton is way more sturdy.
yes, lucky you! my mom sews, and in fact, used to make most of our clothes through middle school.
i wish i loved making decisions LOL – i sort of hate it !!