I am tired and flailing and feeling inadequate. BUT I had a great dr. appointment yesterday and the long ultrasound where the tech measures everything and looks closely at the organs, etc. (also, made sure he is indeed a boy!). She repeated how “perfect” he is a few times, which made me feel good, but also annoyed, because what is perfect?? But yes, also reassured and happy that things seem to be progressing as they should.
You could say, if you dare, that I’m getting excited now? In my own way, of course, which is quite subdued LOL. It almost just feels like I’m ready for him to be here; forget the next 18-20 weeks of waiting – and so I am excited for that next phase. I also know that I should appreciate and enjoy THIS phase, which is rather nice lately. And I do, appreciate it. I feel great, I’m having (a little too much) fun buying some things to dress my bump, and I have a lot of family time coming up through the end of April.
But after sleeping well for a little while, I’m back to being wide awake for 2-3 hours starting at about 3 AM the last several days. It is brutal. I try to read and fall back asleep, but it’s not working so well and I end up just tossing SO MUCH SHIT around in my brain for hours. Sometimes I feel inspired and think of things to write about, but don’t want to get up and do it because then I’ll REALLY be awake. Ugh.
Hence the tired, and flailing and feeling inadequate. When I finally go back to sleep and get up around 8-ish, I feel like I’ve wasted time in the middle of the night doing nothing. Which is silly, I know, but that is what I feel.
And also I want to eat all the sour candy. And/or cookies.
Should I talk about what I’m wearing though? I’m so happy to have jeans I can wear now, and really pleased with this over-the-belly version by Mother, which is my favorite denim brand ATM. They’re super-comfortable and I love the way they look (I will seek out this style after pregnancy). I may not have bought them at full price, but I feel good about what I paid for them – around $166 with 25% off and an extra 10% for signing up for emails (which I promptly unsubscribed from because I was getting TOO MANY).
Also, I really love the Transience swing bag and I promise I’ll have a full review soon. I can’t think of anything negative to say about it honestly. It works really well now and can see it being a great diaper bag later.