I’m not sure I’ve done a great job dressing myself ever, but particularly in the last several years, after my original weight loss, I honestly feel like I’m flailing around sometimes. Now, after more weight loss and body changes, I’m lost.
Also, weather fluctuations (I’m so mad at the cold weather) and hormonal ups and downs are taking their toll.
Eh, fine. So what can I do about it going forward? how can I get myself back on track, and feeling like myself?
First, I think, I have to try and minimize the amount of frustration I feel getting dressed. I’m going to continue to cull my wardrobe, rather brutally, and pass on the things that don’t fit me anymore. Maybe not ALL the things, but most of them, and honestly, some were WTF was I thinking anyway…
At the same time, I have to add in more things I feel good about, and I’m not sure what that is right now. I’d love a rigid, straight, cropped pair of jeans that FIT me, but since summer is on the way, I can probably wait on those.
Truthfully, I can probably wait on everything and take the summer to feel out this weird new body that I have. In all my life, and whatever I thought for myself, I never imagined I’d be this small. Not that I’m that small. I mean, I’m short, but I weigh 140 pounds and have quite a bit of extra jiggly bits hanging around LOL. After decades of weight loss and gain, I sort of always assumed that I’d gain whatever I lost back again. It hasn’t happened yet.
I also know that I see my body in a very warped way. We all do, I think, but I still see myself as much bigger than I am. I think of myself as a large, or medium at best, and really I’m more of a small in a lot of things; I wasn’t even a size small when I was in middle school. I’ve definitely bought, and decided to keep, a lot of things that were too big or just not right for me at the outset, because of this warped view.
I’m having a moment right now, clearly. I don’t want to wear flowy, drapey, oversized things, I want hard, refined and BLACK. I want rigid and crisp and clean. Give me all the Yohji Yamamoto please.
And that is one reason I’m not inclined towards Elizabeth Suzann much right now. My clyde culottes fit my “requirements” nicely, but nothing else really does. And I’m regretting, but also looking forward to, my order of the Ochre marlena dress from the Alabama Chanin collaboration. I wish it was black, but I’m interested in seeing how it fits on me.
Also, reality is that summer is coming, and it’s going to be fucking hot. So, I need linen, if I need anything at all. But I am disinclined to wait 6 weeks on an order, so will seek out my linen elsewhere (but again, I’m probably going to just make do with what I have for the summer).
Then, when I say I don’t want to wait, I feel like a brat. Because aren’t good things worth waiting for? Of course, but I think that would be more true if I KNEW the item would fit and I wouldn’t have to send it back and possibly wait another six weeks for the right size. That is the frustrating part.
Ugh. Well, anyway, those are my thoughts. Tomorrow I’ll share where my wardrobe numbers are and what I’m wearing to a Friday night wedding in New Orleans 🙂
How have you dealt with dressing a changed body?