Eileen Fisher harem pants | on sale in XL at Macy’s, plus-size at Nordstrom
James Perse slub t-shirt | mine is size 2
Kristen Elspeth necklace | I got mine via ARO (use code GC15 for 15% off)
Charlotte Stone sandals | sold out
Everlane Petra tote | purchased with credits from Everlane
Here I am again catching up with another outfit I wore last week but didn’t post (only on Instagram). I wore this out to “the mall” with a friend last week and got several really nice compliments on my pants.
They’re so polarizing aren’t they, harem pants? And they’re certainly not for everyone, as we’ve discussed here and elsewhere many times. Some people really hate them and say very nasty things about the women who choose to wear them. Others just don’t understand them. And still others really really love them. Anyway, it doesn’t matter our opinion on clothing styles, I think – we must simply appreciate how each of us chooses to express herself and move on. How is it worth spending any time at all on thinking about what others are wearing? Isn’t it hard enough to worry about we ourselves wear??
I’ll admit, I’m not always the best at appreciating sartorial differentiation, although I’m really really trying. I still can’t abide leggings as pants (without a long top over), and high-wedge flip flops (bonus if they’re bedazzled) give me a conniption fit. French pedicures with high-wedge flip flops? kill me now. I joke, sort of. Those things are certainly not my style, but who am I to judge a woman’s choice of footwear? or pedicure? or anything else?
How’s that saying? “let she who is not wearing harem pants cast the first stone”?
Anyway, this is all just to say wear whatever the hell you want. I’m also trying to get better at this, and not apologizing for it. Maybe sometimes I DO want to send a message with my choice of clothing. Maybe I AM trying to be “different” by wearing harem pants or a huge oversized caftan as a dress. Maybe I AM trying to get attention. Maybe I like it. Maybe also, I just really really like the harem pants and find them incredibly comfortable. And I happen to think they look cool. Maybe they were all that’s clean?
Who knows. Who cares? None of it matters anyway if we’re not carrying ourselves with confidence; with our shoulders back and our heads up. But then the question is, do our clothes give us power? or the other way around? Or is it more synergistic than that?
I don’t know the answer. I think sometimes I let my clothes carry my confidence for the day – I wear what I know I look amazing in even if I don’t feel amazing, and it gives me a boost. Other times, I may feel confident and wear something that isn’t totally “me,” and feel deflated, like I can’t wait to get home and change. And still again, I choose something “controversial” like harem pants BECAUSE I’m feeling powerful and want to stand apart, and because the outfit is SO ME, it gives me more power, creating an aura in which everything is a-ok.
That’s how I felt last week when I wore these pants. I’ve noticed the last couple of weeks I’m settling into my style a bit more. It’s dark, non-traditional, and very very simple. And it feels so right.