16 weeks pregnant today!!
It’s been cold and dreary this week, so I mostly live in my sweatpants except when I leave the house.
I have been using the Baggu “fanny pack” nonstop since I got it and I really love it. It is sooo roomy, and easy to get into no matter how I carry it. I’ve never worn it as a belt bag, but sometimes I carry it like a shoulder bag. I’m really very happy with it and recommend it if, like me, you have been looking for a belt bag that would hold more stuff. The other colors are really pretty also, but since I’m wearing more color on my person lately, I am happy with the black.
Since I’m not on Instagram much lately I sort of missed the new arrivals launch at Elizabeth Suzann this week. Not that I’m compelled to buy anything specifically. I do think I’d love the olive clyde trench, or maybe jacket, perhaps more than I love this canvas one. It’s tricky, this canvas trench LOL. I love it so much, and when I wear it, I just feel great, but it’s not really warm enough for me for winter weather, and I feel like the linen one would get a lot more wear throughout the year. We’ll see 🙂 Did anyone order anything? I’m actually also waiting to see what she replaces the Mara jumpsuit with. That is more interesting to me.
I’m still reading Black Leopard Red Wolf by Marlon James and I enjoy it, but want to note a few things. It’s very graphic and violent. VERY. If you have a weak stomach, maybe avoid this one. It reads to me like an epic journey, a Hero’s Journey, if you will, and it’s unfolding very slowly, and I’m not sure very deliberately, if that makes sense. I’m at the point now where I’m invested in the main characters (the black leopard and red wolf), and appreciate the evolution of the wolf to “good guy” or “hero”, but it didn’t feel like an organic growth of character, more like one second he was an asshole and the next he wasn’t. I prefer a bit more character development, but maybe that will come later? I’m sure there is a lot more growth/change to come.
I picked this book up because I want to add more diversity to my library, and because I read/heard enough from the author to be intrigued. If you google the book and/or the author’s name: Marlon James, there is PLENTY of commentary and reviews on the book, himself, and more, but I’m going to pass on reading them until I’m finished with the book. I don’t want anything to cloud my reading. It’s the same reason I’ll never watch the movie before reading the book; once I have an image in my head of the characters and location, I’ve lost the main reason for reading fiction – using my imagination and forming my own opinions.
I’m back to going to Pure Barre regularly now that I feel better – I’m going at least 4 days a week, which feels right – I was going 5-6 days a week “before.” It’s hard, and sometimes I get down on myself because I simply can’t do everything I could do just a few months ago (I can’t really feel my abs much, so that work is much harder!), and I can really see my body changing when I wear leggings and a workout cami LOL. I’m pushing through though, and most days I feel just fine, and great about what I can do, changes and all.
I also worked a puzzle this week! haha. so exciting, I know. It’s been a while, but I really enjoy having a puzzle going on the dining room table (that we never use) for something to do besides mindlessly watch tv, or read in the evenings; If I sit down to read after 7 PM, I pass out.
While I was working the puzzle I listened to podcasts and watched the newest season of True Detective, and have really enjoyed it. I also watched the Fyre documentary on Netflix and Won’t you be my Neighbor (the Mr. Rogers documentary). Oh, and I watched Generation Wealth after Elaine mentioned it in a blog post.
The Fyre Festival documentary was good, and along with Generation Wealth, sort of cemented my growing distaste for social media and Instagram specifically. Maybe that’s not entirely fair, it’s more of a general distaste for the merry-go-round we all seem to be on lately (that social media makes WORSE) – keeping up with the Jones’ or whoever – but it’s been building for a while.
The staged pictures and growing numbers of “influencers” on Instagram has morphed it into a platform I’m not very comfortable on anymore. Also, the tendency to try and have “hard” conversations on Instagram bothers me a lot. An app on your phone is not the place for nurturing understanding, or having in-depth conversations about important issues. Too much gets lost in translation, too much is said in haste, or in anger, quickly, while waiting in line, or riding the subway, or killing time. I don’t shy away from difficult conversations in general, but I am weary of things that are said in the heat of the moment that you can’t go back and change when you realize you made a mistake, the quick captions and responses for the sake of stories (which disappear in 24 hours) and of course, the endless virtue signalling.
I’m sure this all feels to me like the early days of blogging felt to fashion journalists and magazine editors haha. I was one of the early fashion bloggers “disrupting” the space, maybe not in the same way some of the bigger names were, the ones parading around NYFW, but I started this to create a space for myself online since I couldn’t find one In real life, or anywhere else online. I didn’t feel seen or heard amongst the sea of younger, thinner models in magazines, and I had things to say; I thought so anyway, so I created Grechen’s Closet.
Anyway, as you know, I’ve been floundering about a bit lately, being pregnant at 46, and thinking about this next phase of my life, so I’m a little frustrated/confused about everything. Scattered maybe. But this, Grechen’s Closet, is my home, it is the tiny little space I’ve carved out for myself online, and I appreciate that all of you come to visit me in it every once in a while. It has been my constant for 15 years this April, through a divorce, the end of one career and the beginning of a couple new ones, a new marriage, and now a baby. Wow. I couldn’t be more grateful.