Rag & Bone Ankle Cigarette jeans in Bk Bunnys (size 28) | they were 25% off this weekend in store
PACT organic cotton camisole
Birkenstock Arizona Sandals (secondhand from slowre)
Ozma linen smock (I dyed it!!)
I have judgement & control on my mind lately, but first, some notes on this outfit…
- I DYED this smock over the weekend. I really wanted to use a botanical dye, or something more natural, but was getting overwhelmed thinking about the supplies I would need, and the process, so I said F it and used Rit. Which was 50% off at Michael’s with a coupon. It’s the pearl grey color, but in my eyes it looks more blue than I like. I don’t hate it. I like it better than the ivory that it was. Still the shape of this jacket isn’t the best on me, but I like it for wearing at home with something that doesn’t have pockets, or over a tank/cami for being out around a/c.
- I got these Rag & Bone cigarette jeans over the weekend at my local store because they were offering 25% off jeans and shoes (I really like this lighter, acid-y wash too!!). I cannot adequately express how much I love them. The fit is just right on me (they could be a little shorter) and even though they have some stretch, the denim feels very substantial, which is what I like about 100% cotton. I’ve worn them a couple of times so far, and they are comfortable to sit in, walk in, work in, you name it. They fit my calves, my waist, my hips. I know now that I always need to have at least one slim pair of pants/jeans; I have so many oversized tops, etc., that just work better with a slim bottom. (I love tucking my Pact organic cotton camisole in…)
So, yeah, judging. Who are any of us to judge one another? under any circumstance?
I’m not pointing fingers here, I’m speaking more generally. But I was reading a blog this morning where the blogger got called out for buying something not generally seen as “ethical.” Not in a harsh or mean way by any means, but the judgement was real.
I see that judgement all the time. I feel it also. Not only from external sources. From myself. Like with the dye. I should have used something more natural, etc., etc.
I don’t know about you, but I’m just trying to be better. I think that’s what most of us are doing; we just stumble through life making mistakes and then hopefully learning from them. Or not. Maybe we don’t always learn very fast and continue making the same mistakes. Life takes time.
Some of us are just making those mistakes, and living our lives online, for anyone to see and pick apart. Which doesn’t elevate us by any means, or make us something other than human, it’s just what we are drawn to do for some crazy reason. We are not perfect. I hope I’ve never proclaimed myself anything other than Grechen. I’m not an “ethical blogger,” a vegan, or an expert at ANYTHING. I try to be more conscious of what and why I buy, choosing more sustainable fabrics and more ethical production methods, but I don’t always succeed. Who does??
Ugh. I am just over all the judging and criticism. I hate that I’ve taken part in it too (Everlane shoes, etc.). And I’m tired of judging MYSELF most of all. I control my wardrobe and I overthink my outfits specifically in an effort to exert a measure of control over any situation I could possibly find myself in. Control over how I “think” I look to others, which of course you CANNOT CONTROL, control over how I might feel given the temperature inside or out, and ultimately control over pretty much everything depending on what I choose to wear for the day.
Leah wrote an EXCELLENT post about this recently, and it really made me think. I definitely suffer from disordered eating; I have always had a very unhealthy relationship with food, but I never thought about how that spilled over to my wardrobe. And now, as I mentioned, I’ve become somewhat scared of eating lest I have another nausea/fainting episode. But I am working my way slowly out of that. Before last December I suffered from the very arrogant idea that I eat well and am healthy – what can happen to me?? HAHAHAHA. Since then, I understand more and more clearly that I am not going to avoid accidents or health scares by eating a certain amount of spinach every day or sprinkling turmeric on everything. Yes, I know eating well and exercising makes a very big difference in quality of life and our bodies ability to recover from illness and injuries, but we’re all going to die. And accidents happen.
Ha. Well, how’s that for a Monday? I have just been thinking about a lot of this stuff all weekend and had to get my thoughts out. I am ready to let go of my need to control everything. I certainly am ready to stop trying to exert control over others by judging them, or thinking I know best. I know nothing.
Excuse me while I go find a good therapist 🙂