(I totally did it…)
Oh man…I never thought I’d do THIS. THIS is the first time I’ve had a bikini on my body in my ENTIRE LIFE. I guess 42 (almost 43!!) is as good an age as any…
After my Bikini Body post last week, I started thinking about in earnest about swimsuits and pretty much decided I was ready to try a bikini, just try. And like it was fate, I saw a coupon for Hackwith Design House pop up on Instagram (30% off with code SUMMERSALE) and took about 2 seconds to decide to order one. I’m wearing a medium bottom and a small top. The medium, honestly, takes a little shimmying to get into, but it’s not too tight, for a swimsuit, that is. It’s really comfortable (yes, I took it for a quick swim!), and flattering I think.
The top is a small, and still, my girls don’t fill it out; there’s a little tiny gap on the side that I can’t fix just by tying it tighter. It doesn’t bother me, and there’s no danger of them slipping out or anything, so I’m okay with it. I would have preferred a halter tie back, because that seems to remedy my small “cup size” problem better, but I’m happy with this.
Anyway, I’m beyond happy and excited that I have a swimsuit now that I love. I put it on and felt amazing. Then I looked in the mirror and STILL felt amazing. I thought I looked pretty freaking good too…but I could be mistaken about that. Not everyone will appreciate my body in a bikini. And that’s okay. I honestly don’t care.
I feel different somehow. Something inside has shifted. It’s not a big deal, I’m a woman in a bikini. We see beautiful women of all shapes and sizes in bikinis all the time. I just never thought I’d be one of them. I’ve NEVER liked swimsuits. I’ve never liked my body in a swimsuit; I’ve never felt comfortable in a swimsuit. Maybe when I was a pre-teen? I have pictures of myself when I was about 12 in a bright blue swimsuit with Betty Boop on it that I loved, and I remember being happy then, but that may have been the last time. I only got heavier and heavier from that point on, and of course started to feel more and more self-conscious and “aware” of how my body looked in comparison with others.
Now, in my forties, it’s more about how I feel, and how I look through my own eyes. It’s enough for me to be critical of myself, let alone try to anticipate how others are going to be critical of me. I just can’t do it anymore…I won’t.
I truly never thought I’d wear a bikini. Even after I ordered this one, I thought I’d try it on, hate it, be uncomfortable in it, and send it back. I certainly never thought I’d post a picture of myself in a swimsuit on the internet. But as I’ve said here over and over again, never say never – and the only constant is change. Add to that, you REALLY never know until you try; and you should always try. A lot of things won’t stick, or look like you want them to on you, but some will, and you will be changed for it. In life, as well as in your wardrobe.
Thank you guys for always pushing me to try – and supporting me whether it works out, or not 🙂 I do it for me, and I do it for you. If you’re on the fence about trying a bikini, or something else sartorially new-to-you, please try it. Just try.
**Oh, and I also ordered two “basics” pieces from Hackwith with the code, the dress and the long sleeve top. I LOVE both of them, but am conflicted about the material. They’re both 100% polyester. The dress is a thicker, slightly heavier fabrication, and much nicer than you would normally consider polyester (I’m definitely keeping it). But the top is thinner, and has that slick polyester feel to it. I am IN LOVE with the fit and the style; it’s exactly what I am always looking for. But I don’t understand the fabric. Why not rayon? or viscose? I’ll post pictures of those soon, but in the mean time, if anyone has any Hackwith polyester pieces, can you please let me know your thoughts? Reader Diane actually had a very good review of the dress, which gave me a significant push to order it, in spite of the polyester…