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Outfit | MY Bikini Body

hackwith_face

hack with design house bikini

(I totally did it…)

Hackwith Design house Black tie top | $66 after 30% off code
Hackwith Design House black high-waisted bottoms | $45 after the 30% off code
Karen Walker deep freeze sunglasses

Oh man…I never thought I’d do THIS. THIS is the first time I’ve had a bikini on my body in my ENTIRE LIFE. I guess 42 (almost 43!!) is as good an age as any…

After my Bikini Body post last week, I started thinking about in earnest about swimsuits and pretty much decided I was ready to try a bikini, just try. And like it was fate, I saw a coupon for Hackwith Design House pop up on Instagram (30% off with code SUMMERSALE) and took about 2 seconds to decide to order one. I’m wearing a medium bottom and a small top. The medium, honestly, takes a little shimmying to get into, but it’s not too tight, for a swimsuit, that is. It’s really comfortable (yes, I took it for a quick swim!), and flattering I think.

The top is a small, and still, my girls don’t fill it out; there’s a little tiny gap on the side that I can’t fix just by tying it tighter. It doesn’t bother me, and there’s no danger of them slipping out or anything, so I’m okay with it. I would have preferred a halter tie back, because that seems to remedy my small “cup size” problem better, but I’m happy with this.

Anyway, I’m beyond happy and excited that I have a swimsuit now that I love. I put it on and felt amazing. Then I looked in the mirror and STILL felt amazing. I thought I looked pretty freaking good too…but I could be mistaken about that. Not everyone will appreciate my body in a bikini. And that’s okay. I honestly don’t care.

I feel different somehow. Something inside has shifted. It’s not a big deal, I’m a woman in a bikini. We see beautiful women of all shapes and sizes in bikinis all the time. I just never thought I’d be one of them. I’ve NEVER liked swimsuits. I’ve never liked my body in a swimsuit; I’ve never felt comfortable in a swimsuit. Maybe when I was a pre-teen? I have pictures of myself when I was about 12  in a bright blue swimsuit with Betty Boop on it that I loved, and I remember being happy then, but that may have been the last time. I only got heavier and heavier from that point on, and of course started to feel more and more self-conscious and “aware” of how my body looked in comparison with others.

Now, in my forties, it’s more about how I feel, and how I look through my own eyes. It’s enough for me to be critical of myself, let alone try to anticipate how others are going to be critical of me.  I just can’t do it anymore…I won’t.

I truly never thought I’d wear a bikini. Even after I ordered this one, I thought I’d try it on, hate it, be uncomfortable in it, and send it back.  I certainly never thought I’d post a picture of myself in a swimsuit on the internet. But as I’ve said here over and over again, never say never – and the only constant is change. Add to that, you REALLY never know until you try; and you should always try. A lot of things won’t stick, or look like you want them to on you, but some will, and you will be changed for it. In life, as well as in your wardrobe.

Thank you guys for always pushing me to try – and supporting me whether it works out, or not 🙂  I do it for me, and I do it for you.  If you’re on the fence about trying a bikini, or something else sartorially new-to-you, please try it.  Just try.

**Oh, and I also ordered two “basics” pieces from Hackwith with the code, the dress and the long sleeve top. I LOVE both of them, but am conflicted about the material. They’re both 100% polyester. The dress is a thicker, slightly heavier fabrication, and much nicer than you would normally consider polyester (I’m definitely keeping it). But the top is thinner, and has that slick polyester feel to it. I am IN LOVE with the fit and the style; it’s exactly what I am always looking for. But I don’t understand the fabric. Why not rayon? or viscose? I’ll post pictures of those soon, but in the mean time, if anyone has any Hackwith polyester pieces, can you please let me know your thoughts? Reader Diane actually had a very good review of the dress, which gave me a significant push to order it, in spite of the polyester…

Tagged With: , Filed Under: made in the US, Outfits
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Comments

  1. 1

    Thank you for showing that it is possible to get beyond what we start thinking about ourselves as pubescent girls when the comparing starts. I felt the pain and rejoice with you.

  2. 2

    Hi Grechen! Love your blog — your style and shape is quite different from mine, but I find what you wear so inspirational, and it’s really helping me stretch my own style and think hard about purchases.

    I’m in my late 40s and first started wearing a bikini a couple years ago — I think they almost always more flattering and comfortable than a one piece. I’m in the market for a new one, and I love the high waisted bottoms on this suit, but they seem to be reeeeeally short on the back of the model on the web site. What do you think of them, are you happy with the bottom coverage? Or maybe you are so unself-conscious you don’t care?? 😀

    Thanks!

  3. 3

    oh, yeah, i think maybe that’s a matter of preference? my bottoms don’t fit like that, they cover me ALL THE WAY if you get my meaning! maybe they have them just pulled way up?

    i’m not unself-conscious enough to let my ass hang out LOL – there’s a line 🙂

    thank you for your comment jennifer! i think you would love the bottoms, and they’re returnable if you don’t!

  4. 4

    Just wanted to say that you look amazing! I always struggle to find high-waisted bottoms and these look perfect.

  6. 6

    You look absolutely fantastic.

    And, FWIW, at 58, I’m still wearing bikinis and I think I look better in them than in one pieces. Shows more shape, plus the sun feels so good on my skin (in short bursts, needless to say) Our bodies are our bodies – if we are living in them happily the rest of the world can bite it.

  7. 7

    You look great! And what a cute bathing suit—stylish but functional with a retro feel. I love it and even more, I love it that you put it on and posted a picture.

  11. 11

    Also–another suggestion for a small US designer with a similar aesthetic to Hackwith, but all-natural fabrics:

    elizabethsuzann.com

    She also makes everything to order. I haven’t ordered from her, but probably will in the fall. Most everything is cotton, linen or silk from what I can tell.

  12. 12

    oh, nice! thanks for the link…
    what are your thoughts on the polyester from hackwith? i’m definitely keeping the dress – it’s has a nice drape and feel to it. but the top…i don’t know if i can get over the feel of it. but i LOVE LOVE LOVE the fit. ugh.

    and editing to add that i’m very impressed now with the elizabeth suzann stuff – this silk top is pretty similar to the hackwith one – but what i love so much about the hackwith top is that it’s a V NECK. LOVE V NECKS.

  13. 13

    What a great looking bikini and suits you very well. The age old saying about putting a bikini on a body to get a bikini body is proven again.

  15. 15

    This is the first bikini you have ever worn?? Dayum! Well welcome to a whole new world of possibilities & don’tgiveash*ts! You look awesome & I bet you feel like a superhero right now as well!

  16. 16

    I love it!! That top suits you so nicely! I really don’t like triangle halters (and not just because I’ve never been able to wear one 😉 I think that shape gives you a lovely accent on top that “flat” triangles never would.

    I walked by the Malia Mills store in NY on Sunday and thought of you 😉

  17. 17

    Ha! I can’t cross that line either, which has nothing to do with the amount of confidence I have! 😀

    Thanks for the input, suit is on order!

  21. 21

    Grechen – that bikini looks amazing on you! Happy you “bared” all.
    I love Hackwith and Elizabeth Suzanne (she weaves a lot of her own fabrics)
    Another designer I love is Kate dePara
    http://shopevens.com/

    Can you share the review of the Basic Dress please? I have had it in my cart all week and trying to decide.

    Thanks

  22. 22

    i’ll take pictures this afternoon, and post tomorrow, but i wore it today and love it – i’m going to have the sleeves shortened though, because they’re just too big/long for me, but otherwise, the medium is fabulous. it’s knee length, and does narrow a bit at the knees, billowing out at the hips, but still is very flattering on. the black one is 100% polyester, which i was worried about, but it was very comfortable today (100+ degrees) and nice and “breezy” so i felt good in it. definitely recommend trying it!! haven’t washed it yet, but reader diane who originally wrote me about it said it washes nicely (hang to dry)

    if you have any more specific questions right now, please ask!!

  25. 25

    That Hackworth tee looks like a very simple garment made from two pieces of fabric wide enough to create sleeves cut on to the body. If you wanted to go that route, your tailor could probably make you up one in linen or rayon–with a V-neck– and for about the cost of that tee.

  27. 27

    thanks kelly!
    love the malia mills stuff, but i figured i should get used to just wearing a swimsuit first before spending a lot on one. maybe for a nice beach vacation. which is NOT happening this year!

  29. 29

    Grechen, you are my hero! You look incredible…oh, yes you do.

    I don’t have the fitness to pull-off a bikini. Heck, sometimes I even feel self-conscious in my ruched one-piece from J Crew. But in my heart of hearts, I know that Lisa is right: My body is what it is, and after the health struggles of the past several years, I’m just happy that I can MOVE!

  30. 30

    I’ve been keeping a close eye on both Hackwith Design and Elizabeth Suzann on Instagram. The simplicity of the designs is right where my style eye is focused lately. And, as Marilise pointed out, these would be SO easy to make! I haven’t purchased because it would make me crazy to buy something that I could so easily sew. As for fabrics, I concur with you, Grechen, that polyester is not very appealing.

  32. 32

    i didn’t weigh in on your last post but i’m so glad you chose this over what you posted! it’s so much more “you” and you look great!!!

  33. 33

    Well, I am so impressed with Elizabeth Suzann that I’ve ordered three pieces (also partial to the fact that she and I are both in Nashville)! Fingers crossed!

  35. 35

    oh, laurie, please report back and let us know how you like them! what did you order??
    also loved that she’s in nashville. lots going on there now apparently…

  36. 36

    I ordered the Cecilia pant, Marlena dress and a belt. Hopefully I got the sizing correct. I will report back!

  38. 38

    You look wonderful. That company should be thrilled you modeled the suit – it’s phenomenal on you! It’s very tempting to me now, and I usually don’t like high-waisted suits.

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