Eileen Fisher slouchy pants | I’m wearing size LP
Acne Studios Bird Fleece sweatshirt | 30% off at LaGarconne with code SPECIAL30
Veja sustainable sneakers
Kara small dry bag
There is no such thing as perfect. But there is VERY CLOSE to perfect. And there’s the BEST I CAN GET RIGHT NOW. Sometimes it’s possible to find a very good substitute for the “perfect” thing – something we can be very happy with and even allow us to move on and forget about the other thing. Other times (more often for me) we search and search for the cheaper “holy grail” item, wasting time, and inevitably money, trying to find it and not.
I have learned this lesson by now, but still have a very hard time implementing it. I have come to terms with the fact that I have very particular tastes and ideas about the shapes and silhouettes I prefer, and as I may have mentioned before, they are usually NOT conventional or traditional in any way, and therefore harder to find done “right” and according to my standards*.
More on this next week in a new The Minimal Closet post, with some shopping strategies to deal with this little quirk I have (and maybe you do too), but as “research” I ran a couple of experiments this week on “holy grail” items to see what would happen if I did finally get THE thing I wanted:
- This ACNE Bird sweatshirt. I’ve been fixated on this style for a long time, but couldn’t convince myself it was worth it, or that it would work for me. I tried similar sweatshirts and/or cropped sweaters that were never right for me, so I decided to try this one when I saw La Garconne was offering 30% off, knowing that I could return if it didn’t work. As you can see, I ended up really happy with it. I LOVE IT. And it’s exactly what I’d hoped it would be. EXACTLY. Nicely cropped for me, easy to wear, goes with everything, etc., etc.,
- The ACNE calla merino sweater. I tried on an ACNE merino sweater early in the fall at Steven Alan and fell hard for it. It was beautiful, fit so nicely, and I knew it would be a staple in my wardrobe. But I never bought it because I didn’t want to spend the money. It only went on sale recently, having sold out at Shopbop before I could get it, and by then, was hard to find in my size. So, when I had enough credits at Shopbop to purchase the v-neck version in a lighter color, I just did it (it hurt, a lot, because there was NO DISCOUNT, even though I had credits…I know…poor me…), and am very happy I did.
So far, I’m two for two that the things I really wanted turned out to be the “right” things. It doesn’t always work out like that though, which I’m sure I’ll see if I start sticking to a more strict shopping strategy going forward.
How do you treat holy grail items? do you spend time & money trying to find the perfect cheaper substitutes? Do you end up finding pieces that you’re happy with so you can move on from your holy grail piece? Or do you still feel like you’re “missing” something, and keep searching and buying?
*I feel very comfortable with ACNE Studios’ qualifications as a company I’m happy to buy from: they are smaller, independent, focused on design & quality for the consumer, and have very well thought out and articulated corporate labor & environmental strategies.
I’ve been very curious with the ACNE brand b/c I seem to be seeing them everywhere. The price range is rather high though but the quality seems high too and they seem like pieces that will remain staples in ones wardrobe for a long time. To answer your question Grechen, nowadays if I’m coveting something that I consider my “holy grail”, I will usually save up enough for that item vs. finding a less expensive substitute. I have done that before only to continually obsess about the “real thing”!
my holy grail item is the No 6 mid heel clog boots in black size 38. Ironically I got turned on to these boots from your blog, grechen. It took buying a dozen boots to realize that these are it. BUT I’m not willing to spend $380… Yet. Steven Alan had the 30% off sale yesterday, which I found out again from you Grechen, but no size 38s. So I will keep scouring for used ones.
Mine is a merino black grandpa cardigan. I owned it once—and tragically, it was stolen one night while out at a bar. I’m making do with one from Everlane, but it falls just short of perfect (I find the band at the bottom to be too tight, preventing a smooth, sleek silhouette).
ok. i know you said you’ve tried a dozen boots, but have you seen the sandgrens clog boots I have? https://sandgrensclogs.com/for-women/clog-boots/new-york-high-heel/ – on me – http://grechenscloset.com/outfit-sandgrens-clog-boots/ ? i haven’t tried no6 clog boots (but i have multiple pairs of their clogs) but i can’t really tell a difference. they’re both made by swedish clogmasters, although sandgrens are made in sweden and no6 is made by Sven in the US. They’re about $100 cheaper…
no6 clog boots are hard to find secondhand, since they’re so ridiculously popular! also, as soon as they go on sale, they sell out quickly, since that’s a classic style. many of the other styles go on sale frequently; there’s a pair of wedge boots on sale at Totokaelo right now for less than $150, but the classic styles are harder to find marked down. i will keep my eye out for you though, in case i find anything!
how devastating!! i know how you feel about a great cardigan, they’re not that easy to find, they have to fall JUST RIGHT 😉
my only experience with ACNE before are the two column dresses I have in blue and black. those were pretty affordable, but i don’t wear them much, especially not the blue one!! i like ACNE because the styles are very unique, and hard to replicate (hence the commanding price tag, i think). goodness knows i’ve tried to replicate the styles…everyone else does too, but never quite makes it.
so far as I can tell, the quality is very high, but who knows until i’ve worn things often enough.
I am constantly searching for Holy Grail items. I nearly always find some flaw with everything I own. On the rare occasion that I find something I think is truly “IT”, I am too afraid to wear it in case I ruin it. Ridiculous. I am trying to wear the great things I have, or there is no point in having them.
Oh I do that too absolutely. But I make myself wear stuff now. I didn’t want to wear my acne sweater yesterday but I did. And I didn’t ruin it LOL Baby steps!!
Thanks for keeping an eye out for me. The process of buying — and selling– boots has made me realize that No 6 boots are for me. I had a pair in the string /taupe color and loved them. But sold them because I realize I needed black ones. I would of course be open to Sven since they make No 6 clogs. I’m DYING To go to their outlet in MN. Haven’t tried sandgrens but I don’t really like the nail heads.
I’m sure they are great clogs but I would feel like I’m “settling”.
Btw based on your blog I have purchased frame Le Garçon jeans, goldsign virtual high rise jeans , Eileen fisher harem pants, everlane ,& Emerson fry. And now I must get these No 6’s
Thank you for your insight !!
Don’t settle!! I totally understand everything you’re saying – having been there myself so many times!! Even doing the “wrong” color thing thinking id be okay with something other than black. It never works…
I TOTALLY get what you mean about the search for the Holy Grail item and the concessions we make when we can’t find the idealized piece. I’ve been searching for a slightly oversized crewneck sweater that has a bit of a hand knit/vintage look to it. You know it when you see it because it’s always on Pinterest with the perfectly ripped jeans, but alas, NEVER with a link to said sweater. I’ve scoured the Internet obsessively only to come up empty handed. The closest I could come was one by Swedish brand “Cheap Monday” but it’s acrylic and probably doesn’t meet ethical standards that I’m trying to stick to. Yes, I’ll go to sleep tonight dreaming about that damned perfect Pinterest sweater. 😉
Christine, I mean this in a “been there, done that” myself kind of way….but isn’t it interesting that we convince ourselves that the lower priced “copy” will fill the need that we have for the original, only to find that it doesn’t and we repeatedly buy more of the same? I could buy the REAL thing if I’d be patient and save up for it instead of paying smaller amounts (Apparently, that doesn’t strike us as very painful! ;-). ) and wasting my money! Just food for thought…And I’m wondering about the “psychology of purchasing.”
hi from south africa! I am interested in having few but good quality clothing, however, it seems very indulgent to spend so much money on clothing if there is a cheaper ( but well made) alternative. Do you really feel/ see the difference?
Hi Grechen-
Do you have any comments about the sizing? I am interested in the Fiera Sweatshirt Dress and I’m not sure whether to go with a S or M?
What are your thoughts…
links: https://www.ssense.com/en-us/women/product/acne-studios/pink-fiera-pullover-dress/1420063
https://www.ssense.com/en-us/women/product/acne-studios/black-fiera-sweatshirt-dress/1237503
oh…i was looking at that too, in gray at la garconne (it’s gone now…) – it depends on if you want it to REALLY be a dress i think – in that case, i’d go for larger so it would be a little longer and have more room. i’d wear it as a sweatshirt/tunic and probably be inclined to get a small to give it room to stretch a little and still “fit” and not look huge.
also, it would depend on if you have hips or not…that’s what always trips me up and i end up order larger because of my hips because i wouldn’t want it to stick to them.
honestly, the way it looks on ssense would make me want to get a medium anyway, because it looks rather slim. and here on shopbop, it looks quite small for a small, and not really oversized: https://www.shopbop.com/fiera-sweatshirt-dress-acne-studios/vp/v=1/1535830524.htm?extid=SE_Google_DSA&cvosrc=dynamic%20search.google.311125697_aud-133279784417:dsa-46845332537&cvo_crid=70778941217&ef_id=VDdCWAAAAA1krnzN:20160201180714:s
then on acne’s site, it looks long and BIG: http://www.acnestudios.com/fiera-fl-dark-grey-melange.html
if I were ordering, i’d default to medium honestly, after looking at all of this. just to be safe.
does that help? lol, probably not a lot…but i love it, and would have gotten that one instead of the bird if i hadn’t wanted something cropped so badly. the pink is so good too…
HI 🙂
Thank you for the well thought out reply! I knew I could count on you.
I think you’re right. I found it on sale in navy on the Acne site and TheCorner, so I will go with them medium.
Thanks again
haha! well thought out, or obsessive?? lol –
please let me know what you think of it…might be a future purchase if it’s not too long…
yes!!! so agree! I’ve often settled & a year or 2 later carted off the 2nd choice to goodwill. for my 50th i felt i had to exercise some hard won wisdom (isnt that a good way of putting it?) & i bought my insanely expensive first choice leather jacket. although there are many good quality knockoffs i never regret spending crazy $ for my favorite clothing item. the only downside is when someone recognizes it & knows the price. its such a personal choice – how much to spend on a piece of clothing & i hate justifying it to anyone.
i hate that we feel like we have to do that too – justify what we spend on clothing.
and yes, “hard won wisdom” is a great way of putting it! it is absolutely true, and often quite hard won…after many many mistakes and regrets, it’s so wonderful to feel like you got it right for once. i hate regrets, i’m tired of living with them, so anything i can do to minimize them, i try to do.
happy 50th, whenever that was 🙂
You misspelled “outfit” in the title. It’s a glaring mistake. And your constant use of “baby steps” is also annoying. You’re not a tiny toddler, you’re an adult. There are other ways to express that concept in a more mature manner.
This is the kind of mean spirited comment that seems to block real communication. Why didn’t you stop reading if the title error is such a turnoff? Why bother to comment at all? Maybe you can find someone to pay you for copy editing and make some money at it.