6397 Shirtdress (sold out)
Birkenstock Arizona Exquisite platform sandals (sold out) | similar version with a white sole
Just what I’m wearing today. It’s hot now. And I feel 95% better today; I think I’m finally getting over my cold.
Yesterday I had a panicky moment since I hadn’t really felt the baby move much for several days and went to my dr. just to hear the heartbeat and ease my anxiety. He went ahead and did a sonogram also, and turns out he’s in breech position right now which makes it harder to feel him move, but his heartbeat is healthy and everything else looks great.
Now I have to start doing kick counts every day, which kind of confuses me? But I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it once I start doing it.
I really freaked myself out yesterday, worrying about him since I’ve been sick. Normally when I’m sick I don’t take any medication, or try to relieve my symptoms with homeopathic meds, but this time, I felt like I should be more serious about getting better since I’m caring for another human IN MY BODY. My dr told me I could continue taking the homeopathic sinus meds, vitamin C, etc., but I also added in Robitussin cough syrup and some benadryl at night for the deadly post-nasal-drip and to be more comfortable, i.e. sleep.
Then I started to worry that I was hurting him somehow with the medications, being sick, etc., and got anxious about not feeling him or seeing him move as much as I had before. I was scared that he was fading away somehow. Yesterday might have been the day when this finally became “real” for me? And that I finally became invested in the outcome.
That doesn’t sound quite right, but maybe you understand what I’m trying to say? I still know that literally anything could happen from now (almost 28 weeks) until term, and now, I think that I would be utterly devastated if “anything” does happen.
This is something I REALLY want now. I’m still nervous about becoming a mother, and unsure what to “do,” but I know now that I want him, as much as I wanted the very first pregnancy I lost more than 15 years ago. Not in the giddy, excited youthful way I did back then, but in a realistic, anticipatory, “natural” sort of way that feels more right to me now.