(Hawk is being his own independent little person lately, so it was a miracle that he actually came to me to snuggle a bit when we were all up in his room to play – I asked Leo to document it LOL)
I know I keep mentioning that I’m ready to jump back in and start writing again, but then I disappear for a week. The problem is on the one hand, I have so many thoughts/ideas/things to say, but on the other, I lack direction and the time/discipline to start writing them down. I also have so many emotional ups and downs during the days and week that sometimes all I can bring myself to do while he’s napping is play games on my phone (at least I don’t do instagram anymore – I limit it to five minutes a day, which helps a lot) or shop for things I can’t buy.
So as I was brainstorming yesterday (haha, I’m really good at thinking – it’s the doing I have a harder time with), I came up with a super-cheesy idea that just might serve as inspiration for me to sit down and write again: monthly themes. I know…I rolled my eyes too, but I think it might be fun. Who am I??? 🙂
OF COURSE since it’s February, the theme is LOVE. I don’t mean romantic love, because what even is that?? I mean love as a series of choices – love as a verb.
Here are some things I’m thinking about:
What does it even mean to “love” an item of clothing?
How I love my clothes – how I take care of them, etc.
How my clothes love me, or don’t
How I love my body – or not
How does style/how I dress express love
How I love my family
How the ethics of what we choose to buy is an expression of love
Any other ideas?
I’m currently reading all about love by bell hooks which is definitely influencing how I’m thinking about love. Or even that I’m thinking about it at all right now. I guess I’m like most people and haven’t really examined what it means to love, or to be loved; I’ve just taken it for granted that my family will “love” me and that I “love” them. I know that isn’t good enough, and never has been. Now that I have to be an example to Hawk and teach him how to love what do I do? What do I say?
I think I will start with “love is as love does,” as bell writes in the book. Love is a verb, not a noun. For me, love is a series of choices I make everyday; I can choose to act with love in mind, or not – sometimes it’s that simple. In terms of how I explain that to Hawk I think it’s about how he can express his love not just by giving hugs or kisses (although those are nice), but by helping with what he can, picking up after himself, and generally being thoughtful and caring. I know he’s just 18 months old, but it’s never too early to plant the seeds. I can hope anyway…
How are you doing? I hope you are well!! I’m relieved and hopeful that all of my family who is eligible has received their first doses of the vaccine – I hope yours have too.