(posted on Instagram a few days ago, Dagny jumped up on the back of my chair and got in my face, trying VERY hard to get me to stop working…)
Thursday is The Minimal Closet day, and I try to come up with something insightful and helpful on shopping, minimalism & personal development. But today, I got nothing.
I had a mini-breakdown yesterday while I was actually writing a thoughtful post on shopping sales, and couldn’t continue. Nothing life-threatening, or very bad in the scheme of things, but so much hit me ALL AT ONCE, and I just had to stop. And come to terms with the fact that I probably wasn’t going to get a significant post up for today.
My struggles/breakdowns seem to always revolve around being so far away from my family & friends, not having enough money right now to see them more often, and my own need/desire to fix everything and everyone <- this one is sort of new, but very concerning...gotta work harder on this... And you know what I wanted to do when everything hit? Well, after cry a lot? Eat candy and go shopping. Yep those are always my first reactions to any pain, boredom, frustration: eat or shop. So I thought, I could go to James Perse and use the rest of my credit, or go to Whole Foods and get more of those "natural" candy corn I LOVE... But I didn't do either one, immediately anyway. I sat quietly for a little while and finished my tea, and then talked with my husband, who was exceptionally understanding. Then I called my friend who quickly set me straight (thanks friend!), as she always does, reminding me that I can't fix everything or everyone, and to concentrate on the things I actually do something about. Which by the way, leads me to the other little thing that's slightly concerning, and that I can't really control either...I'm flying to Atlanta on Saturday, and in case you haven't heard, we have a couple of ebola cases here, and the last case FLEW recently. Now, I'm really not one to obsess over these things, and I do understand HOW ebola is transmitted, that a person cannot get it via breathing...but still...I'm going to try and avoid public restrooms as much as possible, both in the airport, and around here. An adult diaper might be in order. It's a good thing I don't drink coffee anymore 🙂 Back to candy and shopping though. It amazes me every time that hits, and I'm so grateful that I can recognize that now, and be proactive in countering those knee-jerk reactions. I wasn't entirely successful, though, I did go to Whole Foods anyway, to get a roasted chicken to have for dinner (and those candy corn I like...), but I did it consciously, and fully aware of what I was doing. Not just blindly doing whatever I could to ease the pain. A step in the right direction, I think. But certainly not perfect. Because there’s no such thing.
I appreciate your reading.
*I’m much better today, focused on moving forward, and getting ready for my trip on Saturday 🙂
Oh what a cute dog ! Unconditional love…
I do hope you have a better day today: we all have those days, I know I do. I live north of Atlanta and my spouse had to fly out of Hartsfield yesterday and I stocked him up with Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer and said DO NOT use the bathrooms. I probably overreacted, but you never know. Enjoy your trip 🙂
I love this honest and thoughtful post. It is such a relief to have someone out there write about not being able to write, about being lonely and vulnerable (and we all are, right? it is part of what it means to be human in this weird world), and then doing the hard work of being attentive to it. Come to Atlanta! You’ll be super safe. I booked a flight home for the end of next week because there is only so much friendlessness I can take. Thanks for talking about it with us.
I know exactly how it goes, when you REALLY want to get your blog post done, but your brain just falls apart around a bunch of other issues. But rest assured, your faithful fans will stick with you through these times, and be here for you when you’re back to yourself. And we ALL send you a lot of love and hugs to help you through the stress- although it sounds as if you pulled yourself together beautifully!
hugs,
Janice
Hi Grechen,
I read your posts everyday and rarely comment, but know my silence does not come from not being affected in some way by your words. Thank you for always being transparent and real; that is why I continue to visit your site.
Take care of yourself Grechen, and thank you for sharing.
I looove your dog! She is so adorable and sweet!
I second what you said, and couldn’t have expressed it more eloquently. Go, Grechen!
I agree with Juli Bird & RJS. Your blog and insight has brought tremendous value into my word. Thank you for all that you do! Your voice is heard and appreciated 🙂
Dagny is magnificent!
Glad you’re feeling better today. It’s good to learn your triggers – I’m still learning. One of my big shopping triggers is boredom (at work). Another trigger – sales. Good lord these friends and family sales have me in an uproar. Three orders in…must stop.
Safe travels.
I do the same .. candy (good stuff Sees or Godiva), shopping, and cosmetics. It helps if I can just “wait it out” and then those “shop/eat to satisfy myself” goes away ..
And some weeks I find myself without blog content .. if I don’t like my photo’s or don’t feel inspirational .. then there’s no content .. like this week .. lol.
I’m sure you’ll be fine on your trip .. officials are taking the disease more seriously and taking better pre-cautions.
Monica.
I’m glad you’re feeling better today too, Grechen. That’s why I love your site so much…b/c you are not afraid to be you and to be REAL and honest.
I LOVE that pic of you and Dagny 🙂
Thanks for the heads up on the Whole Foods candy corn, btw. I heart candy corn!!
she’s so sweet 🙂
the candy corn is SOO GOOD. tastes like real candy corn, but better. it’s still candy (with sugar!), but it’s non-GMO, gluten free, and no artificial ingredients, so i feel better about wanting to eat the whole bag. although i’m trying not to LOL
thanks monica – i’m not very worried, really, but i do want to avoid the public restrooms as much as possible. honestly, i like to do that anyway! i hate public restrooms…
and it’s OKAY to not have content for days, or weeks at a time…it’s important to only write when we have something important to say, i think. not to just fill our blogs!
oh…the sales…and that’s what I was writing about! my post this week was going to be how to navigate this “silly season” of holiday sales & shopping. i guess next week will still be okay! not too late, i hope 🙂
thank you so much.
thank you!!! how was your birthday??
thanks renza, she IS the sweetest. melts my heart, even when she’s being a little pain 😉
thank you so much juli – i truly appreciate you!
oh yes…thank you janice! i try so hard to be consistent, and not take too many days off, but it catches up with me and i just have to take a second… as i’m sure you know! i appreciate your taking the time to comment, and all the hard work you do on your blog every day. it never ceases to amaze me!
thanks christina. isn’t it so difficult being away from the people you love? not that i don’t have my husband…but still…as i get older, i think i really need people more than i ever did. or wanted to admit when i was younger.
thank you jennifer! i’m loading up on wipes and sanitizer spray! and will avoid the bathrooms at all costs. i don’t do well dehydrating myself though…luckily my flight is first thing in the morning, so i might be okay until i land and get to my mom’s!
It takes a lot of courage for a professional writer to tell her readers that she’s having an emotionally induced writer’s block — even if it’s just for one bleak day! Thanks for trusting in us — just as we trust you. And feel better.
It was great, thanks for asking! We had to postpone our day trip to Vermont, but will go next week. I’m hoping that the fall foliage is still there.
Aww Grechen, I don’t think you ever have nothing…thanks for this post.
And I get what you are saying about needing people more than you thought you did when you were younger. I have been feeling old and sentimental and miss my sister a lot (she’s in Boston, I’m in CA). For the first time ever my mom, sister, brother-in-law, my boyfriend and I are getting together for Thanksgiving at my sister’s new house in Boston (it’s also my mom’s first Thanksgiving since my step-dad died). I am looking forward to it way more than I ever would have before.
When you get around to it, I would like to hear what ideas you have for resisting sales. To be honest, all the “Friends & Family” sales are worse for me than the holiday sales. And I haven’t done as well as I’d like to resisting, but I’m trying to take it one day at a time…
Having lived on the border of NY and VT for eleven years (about a half hour from Manchester and Benington, in opposite directions!), I am SOOOOO jealous!! Enjoy your trip, RJS!
Oh, Grechen, you may not realize it, but you DID give us something today in teaching us to remember that “there is no such thing as perfect”! Thankfully, you’ve got a great husband, a dog that crazily adores you, a bunch of readers who think you’re “da bomb”! ( I’ve never said that before in my life…my daughters are cringing!)…and a really cool wardrobe 😉
You give us SO much of yourself each day. So tell yourself it’s OK. Take a break to go see your family (I’m already planning my next trip to Chicago…a granddaughter is a powerful draw.), and relax, laugh, have fun, and we’ll be here when you get back. Everyone needs a vacation!
Grechen, with you, even “nothing” is something special! Thank you for trusting your readers enough to be “real” with us. This honest and insightful post brings me as much food for thought as another minimal closet post (although I do love those!) Here’s hoping you’re coping, and that your trip to Atlanta is more relaxing than stressful.
We all have those moments and those days. It is really great that you have the support and insight of your husband and friend. It’s never easy dealing with distance from your support network and the feeling that you can’t do it all. But time, reflection, and more good ”ol talking to the right people do wonders!
thank you so much! i’m so excited to go to atlanta…my dad is coming up from florida for weekend, so i’ll get to see EVERYONE !!
lol, i don’t think i’ve ever been referred to as “da bomb” before!! – thanks val, as always…
Thanks, Val! Manchester is dangerous for my credit cards. I love the outlets. Perhaps we need to meet there sometime for retail therapy. And we can have lunch in that cool bookstore, too. But we won’t tell our husbands that we’re going shopping;).
Oh, I LOVE Northshire Bookstore! I have a friend that works there as a graphic designer. I’m so jealous! (I think I already said that before, but I really am!)
Well, now I’m out on the tip of “Lawn Guyland” so it’s a pretty big trek, but I’ve certainly got friends I could visit…Hmm…..this sounds good! 🙂