(posted on Instagram a few days ago, Dagny jumped up on the back of my chair and got in my face, trying VERY hard to get me to stop working…)
Thursday is The Minimal Closet day, and I try to come up with something insightful and helpful on shopping, minimalism & personal development. But today, I got nothing.
I had a mini-breakdown yesterday while I was actually writing a thoughtful post on shopping sales, and couldn’t continue. Nothing life-threatening, or very bad in the scheme of things, but so much hit me ALL AT ONCE, and I just had to stop. And come to terms with the fact that I probably wasn’t going to get a significant post up for today.
My struggles/breakdowns seem to always revolve around being so far away from my family & friends, not having enough money right now to see them more often, and my own need/desire to fix everything and everyone <- this one is sort of new, but very concerning...gotta work harder on this... And you know what I wanted to do when everything hit? Well, after cry a lot? Eat candy and go shopping. Yep those are always my first reactions to any pain, boredom, frustration: eat or shop. So I thought, I could go to James Perse and use the rest of my credit, or go to Whole Foods and get more of those "natural" candy corn I LOVE... But I didn't do either one, immediately anyway. I sat quietly for a little while and finished my tea, and then talked with my husband, who was exceptionally understanding. Then I called my friend who quickly set me straight (thanks friend!), as she always does, reminding me that I can't fix everything or everyone, and to concentrate on the things I actually do something about. Which by the way, leads me to the other little thing that's slightly concerning, and that I can't really control either...I'm flying to Atlanta on Saturday, and in case you haven't heard, we have a couple of ebola cases here, and the last case FLEW recently. Now, I'm really not one to obsess over these things, and I do understand HOW ebola is transmitted, that a person cannot get it via breathing...but still...I'm going to try and avoid public restrooms as much as possible, both in the airport, and around here. An adult diaper might be in order. It's a good thing I don't drink coffee anymore 🙂 Back to candy and shopping though. It amazes me every time that hits, and I'm so grateful that I can recognize that now, and be proactive in countering those knee-jerk reactions. I wasn't entirely successful, though, I did go to Whole Foods anyway, to get a roasted chicken to have for dinner (and those candy corn I like...), but I did it consciously, and fully aware of what I was doing. Not just blindly doing whatever I could to ease the pain. A step in the right direction, I think. But certainly not perfect. Because there’s no such thing.
I appreciate your reading.
*I’m much better today, focused on moving forward, and getting ready for my trip on Saturday 🙂