34 weeks today
Emerson Fry Organic linen caftan (many years old)
Birkenstock Birko Flor Arizona Sandals
I ordered a maternity/nursing bra from Kindred Bravely (thanks Jade for the endorsement!) this morning! I’m going to try and hold off on getting any more until after, and see how breastfeeding goes first. Val made a good point about leakage though, and I can see that I’d need a bra to actually hold nursing pads should that be an “issue,” so tank tops without any shelf support might not be enough for that (I have lots of tank tops). Ugh. So many THINGS TO WORRY/THINK ABOUT.
On breastfeeding though – I’m going to give it a good try for as long as I can, but I’m not going to go overboard trying to make it happen if it’s uncomfortable/I don’t produce enough/he doesn’t latch on correctly. We always think that breastfeeding is the most “natural” thing our bodies can do and should be easy, but the more I read about it, the more I understand it’s not so simple. AND anyway, according to Emily Oster’s research in Cribsheet, out of all that long list of benefits to mother and baby of breastfeeding, only a few are actually measurable and backed up by the data to BE benefits, so I’m also not going to stress about not being able to breastfeed if it proves to be too much.
Speaking of too much…I had a near panic attack at whole foods recently because I didn’t have enough reusable bags with me to hold all of the groceries and had to take a paper bag. I haven’t taken a paper or plastic bag (including for produce) from the grocery store, target, or any store where I buy anything in person in 5+ years, so it did stress me out, although it shouldn’t have; I am doing the best I can.
I think it’s all coming down on me now because I’m having to finally start GETTING READY for baby haha.
I’m going to have a diaper service for at least the first three months because I think it will make an already stressful time less so by not having to worry about laundering diapers. BUT, the cloth diapers have to go in a plastic pail liner to set out for the service. So is it a win because of the cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers? or a wash because of the plastic liner? or is it not so simple? (it’s the last thing…)
My husband is not excited at all about cloth diapering, so we will also have some disposable diapers, and/or disposable liners for cloth diapers available for him to use until he comes around, haha. And they might also be useful for outings, convenience, etc.
Finally…wipes. I am fine with using reusable wipes/washcloths, I think, but will also have disposable wipes on hand for convenience and outings.
There will be so many things to put in the TRASH, it’s overwhelming. And even if I buy/use biodegradable diapers & wipes, if they go in a garbage bag, piled under other garbage bags in a landfill, those things will NOT BIODEGRADE.
So, yeah. Intellectually I know that all these things I’m trying to do are not going to have a very significant impact. And on balance, my efforts may not yield many benefits for the environment at all. Think of the water it takes to launder cloth diapers, the transportation “costs” to get the diapers to the laundry, etc., etc.
Emotionally though, I have to try. And that’s the rub. Am I doing these things just to make myself feel better? So I FEEL like I’m doing something, whether or not I actually AM? But is that taking away from the larger work I could be doing to make systemic change?
Yes, yes, and yes. All yes, but at this point I only have the brainspace and physical capacity to do the “easy” things to make my specific household as eco-friendly as possible. That will have to be enough for now, and I am ultimately okay with that.
What are you wrestling with lately? 😉
Have a great weekend!!
I’ve always loved this caftan, especially on you! A mom friend told me she cuts her wipes in half, so that’s a cost saving/enviromental? savings time for you.
Maybe you already have cloth wipes, but if not, the ones sold by Green Mountain Diapers are great. We’ve used them for years-so very eco-friendly!–and they’re the perfect size to fit in a wipes warmer, if you’re using them.
Also, don’t stress about cloth diapers. I’ve almost exclusively used them, and we’ve loved them. My husband wasn’t sure about them initially, but I don’t think he would use anything else now. There can be a learning curve, but once you get a sense of how they work for you and find a good wash routine, it’s pretty simple. And I love not having to worry about running out of diapers and going to the store for more.
I will say, though, that breastfeeding, for me at least, is worth stressing about a bit. It can be challenging at first, especially since we’re a culture that doesn’t provide moms with a lot of prior models of it, but I believe it’s worth it if at all possible. I think Emily Oster doesn’t really take into account a few factors, including the fact that nutritional studies are extremely hard to do well. It’s wonderful we have formula for situations where breastfeeding really isn’t an option, but formula doesn’t/can’t replicate some of breastmilk’s unique qualities.
I highly recommend looking up Natural Breastfeeding for some ideas on how to make it a little easier at first; the Birthful Podcast also has an episode about that, if you’re interested. And talking to others, including lactation consultants, can make a big difference.
I agree wholeheartedly on breastfeeding, J! I nursed all 3 of my girls, 2 years each for the first two and almost 3 years for my youngest (before you all get squeamish, she was only feeding at night before bed and if she needed “security”…they’re all well-adjusted and successful. 😉 ) I think it’s worth striving for, partly because it’s a perfect food source for baby that’s right there and FREE! But also, it was an amazing feeling of empowerment to know that my baby was thriving on breast milk only for the first 6-9 months, in spite of the naysayers voices I encountered. And promptly ignored. Not everyone is able to make it work, but with support and instruction, we’d have a better chance.
I second the breastfeeding advice with a caveat. My first son was born at 36 weeks and was quite small. I nursed exclusively at first but he regularly fell asleep after nursing for just a few minutes. The lactation specialist thought he worked so hard nursing that he fell asleep after taking the edge off his hunger. He lost more weight than any of us felt comfortable with, and the pediatrician recommended pumping and supplementing with formula from a bottle to make it easier for him. I jumped at the idea because he was very scrawny and not thriving.
It worked, and we did the nursing formula combo for the first year. He was a very healthy child and now adult.
Here’s the caveat. A well-meaning work friend, I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt here, pretty much shamed me for ‘giving up too early’ on exclusively nursing. Do what works for you and your child and don’t ever feel badly about it. You’re his mother and nobody will know or care more about him than you. Don’t doubt your instincts.
We’re lucky to have so many choices that help us raise healthy babies. It’s kind of a miracle we survived as a species when the choice was limited to nursing. ?
You’re gonna be a great mom.
Breastfeeding is so worth the discomfort in the beginning. I can’t quantify the closeness it had afforded us. And my son, now 1.5 years old, has only had a fever once.
I have to add my two cents worth about breastfeeding too. From all I have read the benefits are significant, and although it wasn’t as easy and didn’t come as naturally as I expected with my first, I am so glad we stuck with it. I nursed him for 2.5 years and am still nursing my almost 4 year old who is undergoing cancer treatment. Her treatment team truly believed that the breastfeeding has helped her do as well as she has, particularly in terms of not getting as sick as often as other little ones. I realize this is a very rare case, but it is a good example, I think! On the note of discomfort, I used a “nipple shield” with both my kids when they were newborns and it as a huge help in the first month or two. I actually recommend having one at the ready- it was a saving grace with both and there was no issue with taking it away once they were ready to latch more easily.
Again, truly my two cents worth. You are going to be a wonderful mom and following your intuition will also be a good way to go. I also grapple with “eco anxiety”, especially when I have to spend time in the hospital where quite literally everything is disposable. It’s downright disturbing, but that’s another issue. We used biodegradable diapers and wipes and that worked well for us. We live in the desert, so I did consider the water that would go into washing cloth diapers, etc
It’s going to be a wonderful ride and this little one is so lucky to have you as his mama!
Sorry for typos! On my phone in the dark. 😉
Your story is beautiful and very moving, Lala. All the best to your daughter!
Grechen, honey, you’re glowing! Love the caftan and Birks. And I can’t get over how conscientious you are about the environmental impact of all of your choices for baby and you and this thrilling new chapter coming up in your life. Sounds like you have the right ideas about it all. Do try hard but NEVER torture yourself over breastfeeding – it’s incalculably special should you and baby get the hang of it. I was blessed to be able to nurse both my boys, but neither of my beloved sisters was able to breastfeed (they tried hard) and it didn’t diminish by ONE IOTA their powerful bond or closeness or love or joy in nourishing and mothering their babies – my nieces and nephews are vibrantly healthy and grown now, so do not listen to the La Leche nazis or anyone else who passes judgement either way. There are so many marvelous other facets of motherhood – I’m excited for you! Wishing you health and an easy rest of your pregnancy and delivery.
xoxox
Thank you so much! She is the strongest person I know. ??
Typos again…not sure what is with the ?? at the end of my comment!
I really loved the experience of being pregnant and breastfeeding, too. Everyone has a difference experience, though, and it really is a difficult time for a lot of women, especially in the U.S. where maternity leave is so short or non-existent. Having a newborn in general takes a shift in expectations, but I found breastfeeding really calming. It’s one of the things I really miss most from that time.
La Leche League are not nazis, they advocate doing what works for you.
Please forgive me, Megan. I probably should not have written that. I’m glad they are now advocating doing what works for you. That was not our experience when my sisters had their kids 29, 27 and 21 years ago. The local La Leche league chapter was not soothing or supportive at all when they had to switch to formula – with thinly veiled judgementalism the league compounded their guilt and tears even more, and I remember being furious on behalf of my sweet, beleaguered sisters. I’m truly pleased that’s no longer the case.
You could try potty training your kid early, speaking of eco friendly! 🙂 I come from that part of the world where kids potty train before they crawl. I started to potty train my daughter when she was 4 months old. By the time she was 6 months, she never pooped in a diaper. She would make this funny coughing sound whenever she wanted to go. We never had to struggle with stinky diapers. When she went to daycare at the age of 1.5, she was fully potty trained. Her teacher was shocked and started potty training other kids early, saying if Ayla can do it, they can do it too 🙂
It always puzzled me seeing 3-4 y.o. kids wearing diapers when I first came to the states. The process is not easy; it takes time and perseverance. But with your flexible schedule, I think you can do it. Let me know if you need more info, I’d be happy to share.
You look gorgeous and I adore that dress!
Just wanted to comment positively that I was just certain I wouldn’t be able nurse because my mother had an awful time with it, and just the general horror stories I was told/read. And I was just fine with that. But it turned out (for me!) that nursing came so naturally. I didn’t even have any pain with my first daughter, and just a couple of days of sore nips with #2 (which surprised me because I’d only stopped nursing 9 months before). I’ve even kept drinking wine etc and doing all the the things they say will make my supply drop and it just…didn’t. So I wanted to chime in to say sometimes it goes off without a hitch. I know I would’ve switched to formula if it had stressed me out even slightly, and I DEFINITELY don’t think breastmilk is a miracle food or necessary for bonding etc, but for me breastfeeding turned out to be less stressful in terms of getting sleep and feeding on the go. Honestly now, having never used bottles for either babe, I feel like bottles may even be harder because you have to sterilize them, keep track of them in the middle of the night, etc. Whatever happens for you and baby, you are so thoughtful and conscientious, you will make an amazing mother. <3
Nursing pads will fit in everything. The reusable ones are great. You might not need them ever, or only at first, or only in public. Worry about something else! :p xo