Just so it’s clear, I’m a fucking person. Not just a pretty face 😉
I have fears and insecurities, and I guess you guys probably know them all; I share them here. BUT STILL. That does not make me immune to feelings of anxiety and frustration when people judge me, simply because I have a blog, and are sure they have a right – nay, a responsibility – to share/voice their opinions about me, and the clothing I wear. I make myself vulnerable here every day, and that is something I’ve chosen to do, but it doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming sometimes.
So I had a little temper tantrum – I needed to feel frustrated for a minute.
And now I’m going back to not giving a fuck thank-you-very-much, but because I share everything here, I do also want to say that sometimes I do GAF, and that’s okay too. I’m at the point in my life, or getting there, where I think I should continually not GAF, but I’m also of the age where I don’t pay much attention to “shoulds”, so fuck what I should, or shouldn’t feel, I’m going to feel it, and then move on.
Oh, but before I do that…I also want to say that just because a person shares of themselves, online, in a book, on a screen, whatever, doesn’t automatically mean that they are “fair game” for criticism and analysis. Who decided that, exactly?
I returned all the stuff I bought last week, which was a lot. Not because of any external opinions at all – I WANTED to keep that Rachel Comey dress, and wear it with my white birkenstocks, but I WANTED more to have that money to spend on other things on my “things I want to spend money on” list.
Here’s my list as it is as of this morning (I try to re-write it every morning):
- platinum hair
- teeth – whitening, straightening
- flying lessons – I forgot about this one for a while, but I really do want to learn how to fly. a plane LOL
- elizabeth suzann clyde culottes in clay
Anyway, it’s done. I’m not over finding pieces with patterns or colors, in fact I’m kind of tired of black pants. The shipment of my latest Elizabeth Suzann order of black silk andy trousers is imminent, but I’m not very excited about it – I wish I’d ordered them in rust. I wanted to order the rust, but I decided to play it “safe” and try black first. If I like the black, then, I thought, I’d order the rust.
Ah well. For the weekend in Charleston, I’m working with what I have – my James Perse dresses for dinners and these pants and a tee with Birkenstocks for walking around during the daytime.
Have a great weekend!!