Rag & Bone/JEAN skinny jeans (secondhand from a friend) | similar style, not distressed 😉
James Perse brushed jersey turtleneck
James Perse cashmere coat
AlllBirds wool runners
Admonish custom leather bag (made by a friend)
Some random things bumping around in my head lately…
I’m not really interested in spending money on anything but travel to see my family, paying off debt, and saving. But mostly on traveling to see my family. Ideally I’d see my mom and/or dad once a month. And since they live in separate cities, that’s a lot of traveling. The hardest thing I deal with every day is being so far away from my parents.
I don’t really want any new “things” or clothes. But I become tempted or think I do “need” new things when I spend any time on social media (Instagram), and/or I’m overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated. Why? Because social media leaves me feeling inadequate and lacking. Every.single.time. I wish I could quit it altogether, or “cure” myself of those feelings, but I do enjoy it sometimes, when I don’t come away with bad feelings. But that doesn’t happen very often…
I would like to be able to get dressed in a slightly more “artistic” way. To me, some of the outfits I styled for slowre recently were really interesting, easy outfits I’d admire on anyone else, but felt contrived to me for some reason, even though they were not. The irony is that the outfits I actually wear are MORE contrived; I think WAY more about them than I do when I’m just playing around. And I loved the feeling of just playing around and throwing things together. For example, today, I could have worn my white Frazier & Wing dress over these jeans, with a pair of platform oxfords (something I don’t have, but always wish I did), and a sweater or cardigan on top. I would probably have been pleased with the result and would compliment it on anyone else, but then if I was just going to whole foods, or running random errands that day, I would have changed into an outfit like what you see here to be practical, “quiet,” and much more boring. Ugh. It’s frustrating that I can’t seem to get dressed “for myself.” I am clearly also stuck in an all black rut. I want to be more creative in my everyday life, but can’t seem to do it.
I am getting better at embracing the flow of things as they are, but still get overwhelmed. I have a real problem with expectations; I expect to be able to do more than I can, and when I try and can’t I get stuck. Sometimes I get stuck before I even TRY. This week I was in Atlanta on Monday for my mom’s birthday and then my sister, niece and I were supposed to fly back to Dallas on Tuesday afternoon. Our flight to Dallas was cancelled so we flew to Austin and were scheduled to fly to dallas from austin later that evening, and then that was cancelled, so we stayed overnight in austin and flew out to dallas at 6 Wednesday morning. We lost a whole day, and Wednesday was tough because we had to get up at 4 AM that morning, but otherwise, all things considered, it was manageable, and not so bad. Now, my niece is here with me (she’s 11) while my sister is working and it’s harder to get things done with her around than I thought. She’s helping me a lot with certain things, but it’s just not possible to get everything done I thought I’d be able to with her here. (all you moms are probably nodding your head right now LOL) And I’m just embracing that. I understand that I can’t work as usual right now and that’s okay – I never get alone time with my niece and I’m really enjoying it.
I am so sensitive to weather. I wouldn’t like to be, but I am. It is abnormally rainy lately, but it is depressing and frustrating, and I just can’t with the cold. Atlanta was really nice while I was there, and we enjoyed a lot of time outside, so I am really grateful for that, but coming home to nonstop rain and freezing weather is hard. I know. Poor me. I’ll wish for it when it’s 100 degrees this summer…or not.
Madelyn and I in 2010
I guess ultimately it’s always really tough for me to leave my mom or my dad after visiting and it takes longer and longer to get over every time. I’m still adjusting to being back home, and it’s been compounded by everything happening here. I am so thankful for my life, my husband and the friends I have here in Texas though, I really can’t complain. I just feel sad to not be closer to my parents.
Happy Friday!!!!!!!! This weekend I will be going through all the new boxes for slowre that have arrived lately. What do you have planned?
Just some work planned for the weekend – But that’s ok, I’m working from home and enjoying it. Some thoughts about getting dressed – I share a lot of your feelings about dressing a bit more “contrived” for my actual life rather than “sporting” the more artistic/styled outfits we admire on others. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I tell myself it saves me a lot of money while still having the pleasure – thanks to social media – to admire what’s out there , like art in a museum!!
In your case, I think the ability you have to play around with Slowre stuff and sharing outfits with us gives you the best of both world: you can get creative and share with us, even if you would not wear these outfits outside of the house – At least they inspire us and that’s what matters, and that’s part of your work, how lucky you are !!
My parents will be 87 next month. My mom is frail and my dad has dementia, together they almost make a fully functioning human being! I live 3 hours away. I visit them once a month or so, and also when my mom falls and breaks her pelvis, or my dad has a heart attack and doesn’t understand he’s in the hospital, I go to them. It’s so hard to see them get older and to know that probably in the next few years they will be gone. I also have step teenagers with lots of issues and feel like I am the classic sandwich generation; elderly parents on one end and challenged teenagers on the other! You are not alone.
Your niece is adorable. Seems like a lot of people feel the same way about social media, especially instagram. I haven’t met anyone yet who talks about how it’s improved their lives. On the other hand, there are times where because I am not on social media, I’m unaware of big events like when an old friend gets engaged or something… but I’ll take that over the daily negative psychological impacts of instagram. But nowadays it seems like people almost don’t have a choice but to be on IG.
I think your outfit looks great today. It looks comfortable, sensible and very YOU. Also, I really like how you always smile in your photos. So many fashion blogs have posts of people posing and smiling, but it’s kinda obvious their smiles are either posed or feel kinda fake in a way. You almost always look directly at the camera and smile and it always feels genuine. It makes me think that maybe I need to try smiling a bit more often myself.
The only people on my IG are friends and a couple designers I like and that’s it. I use it more as a way of just knowing what’s going on with the people in my life. I know it’s easy to add a lot of people who make their lives look a lot more glamorous, but I just can’t stomach the BS that comes through on most of them.
FB can be soul sucking for me but IG is always a pleasure. I would suggest changing the types of accounts you follow or using the search function to search hashtags. I love looking at the art, photography, travel and creative shots. I unfollowed a bunch of fashion bloggers years back after one NY fashion week where they kept posting pic after pic of themselves and other bloggers . When I do feel like looking at outfits I enjoy The Sartorialist or other Street style sites where I don’t know what they are wearing specifically so the inspiration is for my own closet vs. running out and buying something. YouTube is the worst for making me feel like shopping, all those bag reviews! But I do like I Love Paris which is all street style in Paris with music only .
I understand about being away from family, I do try to see my parents monthly or every other month (I have to fly from Honolulu to Maui). I miss them too.
This weekend we are hosting a Purim party. Most of our guests will be non-Jews, and my friends always love to perform in the telling of the story of Esther with all the stomping and hooting & hollaring. I’m planning to go dressed as Vashti, who some now posit was the original #MeToo activist when she refused to entertain her husband the King’s guests wearing only her crown.
Tomorrow, a friend and I will be going to a fix-it meetup at a local repair cafe with a group called Zero Waste Chicago. I’m hoping the volunteers can help me convince my printer to take paper again!
With the help of your writing, I have also been realizing I feel most confident in a more avant- guard style. I’m carefully considering how to accomplish this. I feel stuck, though, because I recently re-gained a bunch of weight I had lost and I am conflicted between not wanting to invest before I lose the weight vs embracing how my body looks now and dressing to make myself happy.
I love that you’ve posted a few old photos for us lately. Your total dedication to Pure Barre has really paid off! And the strength you have now…amazing!
Have fun with your niece. I remember swapping kids with my brother and his wife. It was fun having my shopping-crazed niece to hang out with.
I understand what you’re saying about finding it harder and harder to be away from aging parents. Every time I see them, some new issue pops up, whether it’s health or something they need help with. I feel like I should be there to help all of the time, as the oldest. But my 2 brothers live close by, so in reality, they CAN help more. It’s just very sad to face your parent’s mortality. It happens to all of us, but it’s heartbreaking.
Good idea about unplugging from Facebook. Tania. It just gets me mad these days!
Bless you, Zanna, for being there for them!