Rag & Bone/JEAN skinny jeans (secondhand from a friend) | similar style, not distressed 😉
James Perse brushed jersey turtleneck
James Perse cashmere coat
AlllBirds wool runners
Admonish custom leather bag (made by a friend)
Some random things bumping around in my head lately…
I’m not really interested in spending money on anything but travel to see my family, paying off debt, and saving. But mostly on traveling to see my family. Ideally I’d see my mom and/or dad once a month. And since they live in separate cities, that’s a lot of traveling. The hardest thing I deal with every day is being so far away from my parents.
I don’t really want any new “things” or clothes. But I become tempted or think I do “need” new things when I spend any time on social media (Instagram), and/or I’m overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated. Why? Because social media leaves me feeling inadequate and lacking. Every.single.time. I wish I could quit it altogether, or “cure” myself of those feelings, but I do enjoy it sometimes, when I don’t come away with bad feelings. But that doesn’t happen very often…
I would like to be able to get dressed in a slightly more “artistic” way. To me, some of the outfits I styled for slowre recently were really interesting, easy outfits I’d admire on anyone else, but felt contrived to me for some reason, even though they were not. The irony is that the outfits I actually wear are MORE contrived; I think WAY more about them than I do when I’m just playing around. And I loved the feeling of just playing around and throwing things together. For example, today, I could have worn my white Frazier & Wing dress over these jeans, with a pair of platform oxfords (something I don’t have, but always wish I did), and a sweater or cardigan on top. I would probably have been pleased with the result and would compliment it on anyone else, but then if I was just going to whole foods, or running random errands that day, I would have changed into an outfit like what you see here to be practical, “quiet,” and much more boring. Ugh. It’s frustrating that I can’t seem to get dressed “for myself.” I am clearly also stuck in an all black rut. I want to be more creative in my everyday life, but can’t seem to do it.
I am getting better at embracing the flow of things as they are, but still get overwhelmed. I have a real problem with expectations; I expect to be able to do more than I can, and when I try and can’t I get stuck. Sometimes I get stuck before I even TRY. This week I was in Atlanta on Monday for my mom’s birthday and then my sister, niece and I were supposed to fly back to Dallas on Tuesday afternoon. Our flight to Dallas was cancelled so we flew to Austin and were scheduled to fly to dallas from austin later that evening, and then that was cancelled, so we stayed overnight in austin and flew out to dallas at 6 Wednesday morning. We lost a whole day, and Wednesday was tough because we had to get up at 4 AM that morning, but otherwise, all things considered, it was manageable, and not so bad. Now, my niece is here with me (she’s 11) while my sister is working and it’s harder to get things done with her around than I thought. She’s helping me a lot with certain things, but it’s just not possible to get everything done I thought I’d be able to with her here. (all you moms are probably nodding your head right now LOL) And I’m just embracing that. I understand that I can’t work as usual right now and that’s okay – I never get alone time with my niece and I’m really enjoying it.
I am so sensitive to weather. I wouldn’t like to be, but I am. It is abnormally rainy lately, but it is depressing and frustrating, and I just can’t with the cold. Atlanta was really nice while I was there, and we enjoyed a lot of time outside, so I am really grateful for that, but coming home to nonstop rain and freezing weather is hard. I know. Poor me. I’ll wish for it when it’s 100 degrees this summer…or not.
Madelyn and I in 2010
I guess ultimately it’s always really tough for me to leave my mom or my dad after visiting and it takes longer and longer to get over every time. I’m still adjusting to being back home, and it’s been compounded by everything happening here. I am so thankful for my life, my husband and the friends I have here in Texas though, I really can’t complain. I just feel sad to not be closer to my parents.
Happy Friday!!!!!!!! This weekend I will be going through all the new boxes for slowre that have arrived lately. What do you have planned?