Photo by Jay Castor on Unsplash
I’ve been thinking about age a bit lately. I normally don’t, how old I am isn’t really much of a consideration day to day (I certainly don’t believe in “dressing your age“), but some things are “hitting” me:
- my body seems to be “sore” all the time, especially now that I’m back to Pure Barre. Yes, I’m sore because my body isn’t used to the little movements we do at PB anymore, but aside from that, I have sciatic nerve pain more often, my lower back hurts in the morning (we need a new mattress…), and aches and pains just seem to stick around longer than they used to. My mother tells me I need to get used to it…it doesn’t get better! My foam roller and I are BFFs. That said, I’m impressed at how quickly my body has been able to bounce back and heal from my injury.
- social media. ugh. It makes me feel old, haha. I enjoy instagram, generally, but I’m getting so turned off by all the high-fiving and mutual back-patting that goes on constantly. (sorry, but I just have to scroll right through and ignore all the 10×10 posts now…) It’s feeling increasingly fake and curated to me, and I find that distressing, and isolating. Maybe also, I’m just old and curmudgeonly LOL
- My life is rather too solitary. I enjoy my solitude, very much. But I’m starting to realize that it’s not very good for me. And since I don’t have kids, and we live far away from family, I will need to create my own community to have some sort of social support. This is very hard for me though, and perhaps something I’ll write more about later…
Anyway, on to the questions!
- How old are you?
- How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
- Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
- Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
- What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far?
How old are you?
I am 45. It’s still so weird to say that/write it. I do not feel like I’m 45. Not that I know what that means. My body is healthier and looks better than it ever has. EVER. I look and feel better than I did in high school 🙂
Skincare/Style
Honestly, I haven’t changed my skincare much, except within the last month, I’ve realized I don’t want to use even as much as I had been using. Wash my face, some rosehip oil, and that’s it. I do wear “makeup” sometimes, all RMS, but mostly, just sunscreen and call it a day. I never did wear makeup much though, so it’s not very different. I guess up until about 5 years ago I thought I really NEEDED to wear makeup when I left the house, so I did, but not very much, and I started phasing that out when we moved to Texas.
My style is always changing. My penchant for neutrals is constant now (about ten years ago, I did wear some color), and the last five years I’ve changed the way I shop and what I buy in favor of smaller designers and natural fabrics. But you know that already. In terms of the shapes and silhouettes I wear, I still like them all and I love to try new things. Hopefully that will never change 🙂
I’ve been toying with letting my hair go and stopping coloring it (since it’s been a very long time anyway), but I don’t think I really want to do that. I don’t like my natural color at all, and there aren’t enough grays coming in to go full-on yet…
Would you go back to a certain age?
No way, not for all the money/Elizabeth Suzann in the world*. I wouldn’t trade where I am now for anything. I finally feel comfortable in my body, and in my self.
What would you tell your younger self?
Oh, I’d tell her to not even THINK ABOUT GETTING A CREDIT CARD AGAIN, and to let go of all her ideas about what life “should” look like, but I know she wouldn’t listen to me LOL – I’m old enough now to know that change never comes from outside…and no one ever really listens to what anyone else says unless it resonates somehow with what they believe or WANT to believe AND that it is something they are ready to hear. Most things you just have to learn the hard way and over years and years of trial and error.
Associations…
Leo is 4 years younger than me. Sometimes when we talk about our teens and 20’s there’s a disconnect, because I was in college when he was in high school, but otherwise, it doesn’t seem to make a difference in our relationship at all. I think my ex-husband was also younger than me? But I can’t remember haha…
I have two close friends, one is ten years younger and the other is about the same age. I worry just a teeny bit that I’m too old for my younger friend (I got mistaken for her mother once!!), but not really. Now that I think about it, I’ve always had much younger friends. Other than that, I don’t really have any other associations since I work at home. I would love to socialize/work with more women my age, but the women my age I meet either have kids, or a completely different lifestyle than I do, which makes it tough to socialize. Also, I don’t meet people. That’s a whole other thing.
Hardest part of getting older?
Thinking about losing my parents. I can’t even…
Best part?
Every single day 🙂 Also, not giving any fucks. Feeling more comfortable and content than ever.
Most meaningful thing I’ve learned?
the only constant is change. Ultra cliche, but the truest thing I’ve ever known
Your turn!!
*I wrote that, but now I’m re-thinking LOL – I might go back in time for ALL THE ELIZABETH SUZANN 🙂 But I probably wouldn’t have appreciated it then. Ahha!!
How old are you? I am 54
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color? skin: pretty much stopped with most makeup, only wear a tiny bit. Skin is drier so moisture is important. Style, fuck that, I wear what I want, what I think looks good period.
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older? No. I realize that YOUTH IS TOTALLY WASTED ON THE YOUNG
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters? I work in high tech so it is the land of the young. It seems like men can get old but heaven forbid women do. I remember feeling invisible walking into an event with a younger co-worker, all eyes on her, I was invisible…My spouse is older but he is aging better…sigh, why is that???
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part?? I like the attitude but some of the aging stuff is hard. Basically men get better and women, well it seems like we just dry out! But, it beats the alternative…
How old are you?
40 this year. yikes!
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I was never big on makeup, but now I use zero (other than brow pencil). SPF is the most important to me now (I wish I had been wearing it everyday sine my teens), and I also use retinol occasionally at night, but usually I forget.
Style-wise, I have grown more averse to trends in general (unless they are “timeless”/flattering for me specifically – like high waisted pants).
My hair has not changed. I have never colored it, and my grays are not yet noticeable (to others), but I do fantasize about going all gray. Just not sure if it will grow in crazy and spindly!
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
I look back on my early 20s fondly because I traveled a lot and did so alone a lot, and it was brave and unforgettable. But I would not go back in terms of where I am emotionally. No way!
I would tell myself to leave my eyebrows alone and wear SPF!
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
My friends range in age from 10 years younger to 10-15 years older (and even more extreme in some cases. I have a 15 year old friend, and a 70 year old friend, for example.) I do gravitate to other childless people, but only because they are rare/special in my world, and so much easier to make plans with!
I am a few years older than my sig other, and it’s noticeable culturally only because he is the oldest child and I’m the youngest – I was an old soul and he was a young soul. But other than cultural references, no, it matters not at all. We have equal disdain for social media, although our peers are all on it, so it’s not an age thing (I hear you big time with the instagram 10×10 stuff. It can get very icky very quickly.)
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
Hardest = Aging parents, financial planning
Best = Owning personal choices, the ability and desire to be only around people who are worth my time and energy, having a partner to get though it all with.
What a great post! Very interesting to read. Thank you for sharing it!
Here’s mine…
1. I’m 33, about to turn 34.
2. My skincare is way different. When I was 14, my mother insisted I start wearing makeup (like foundation, blush, the whole shebang) because I had “bad skin” (lots of acne). I went to a myriad of dermotologists who kept treating my “oily” skin. In reality, my skin is very dry, and it was overreacting to all the medications and constant wearing of makeup. It was a vicious cycle and my skin was oily in some places and flaky-dry in others, makeup always looked terrible on me, and I was never happy. After I married, my husband suggested I just stop all the products and see if my skin would heal on its own. And it did! I stopped wearing any and all makeup about 7 years ago, and my regime is morning face wash with shea butter soap and an organic lotion bar. That’s it. Nothing else, and my skin has never looked better. I don’t think my mother was trying to be vicious, but she is an extremely anxious person who never leaves the house without makeup, and felt her daughters should be made up the same way.
My style has gotten a lot more androgynous, and that goes for my hair too. I am happiest in gender neutral clothing. I mostly buy clothing cut for women, but the style is very neutral. I feel very uneasy in anything feminine. I don’t mind looking feminine – impossible to get around that since I’m quite hippy – but dressing feminine just feels wrong to me. I tried a million styles when I was younger, and, shocker, my parents always wanted us to dress very feminine and modest/ladylike. That never felt right to me, and I’m happy to be an adult who can make that decision for myself. Same for my hair – I now have a rather avante garde/non-feminine hairstyle (though the color is back to my natural) and I love it. I’ve tried ALL the hair colors because it’s fun.
3. I don’t really want to go back to any age. I’m happiest/content now. I have a wonderful husband and toddler, and another babe on the way. We have dogs and cats. I do what I want. I live how I want.
4. I don’t have a lot of friends, but they are mostly my own age. I do have a couple of mentors who are older, and I am close with my in-laws. Most of the people I work with are either older or younger, not much around my age. I feel a bit like my boss, who is in his 50s and has a daughter close to my age, sees me as a daughter figure…but that’s only worked out in my favor, so I can’t complain too much.
I’m younger than my husband by 4 years, but I never felt like it mattered. We both still don’t believe our own ages and often feel as if we’re 17 and still trying to figure things out.
5. I guess the hardest part is this feeling of time flying by. There are things I want to do, like travel, and I don’t have the money or time for it, but I’m afraid I’ll be too old to enjoy it. But what is that fear anyway? Too old, like in my 40s? That’s not old! I think it’s more of an anxiety that life will pass me by, and also just being jealous of friends and family my age who are getting to do things like travel, while we’re spending our money on things like paying off debt and having another baby. All good things, but sometimes I wish I could just plan a trip to Scotland on a whim!
The best part is, like you said, not giving any fucks. I care soooooooo much less about stuff than I used to, and it’s freeing. Like the makeup thing. Even though I looked terrible in makeup and it was terrible for my skin, I used to feel paralyzed at the perceived judgement of others if I left the house without full makeup. Now I go to interviews, weddings, etc with zero makeup, in my androgynous clothes, with my weird hair, and I love it. My mom hates it, but that’s part of the fun. 😉
I am usually much too lazy to do your questions topics…..soo very lazy….but I think I can do this pretty quickly. 😉
1. Over 20 years older than you, Grechen! And yet we dress rather alike. Except for colour. Does that make me a cliche? Hope not!!!!
2. Of course my style has changed! At least once a decade lol. As for skincare: less cleansing more lubricating. My skin was always thin and dry, but now it is practically crisp! Oh, and now use sunscreen. Didn’t even exist except for thick, white zinc oxide (used by skiers on their noses) during my formative years. I am going grey, but not fast or evenly enough so am helping it along artificially.
3. Do not want a do-over. What would be the point? To prove a point that I can do better? With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes acceptance.
4. Younger self? Do not buy stuff. Any stuff. You will inherit stuff, from your older relatives when they die, from your own children when they leave town and don’t want to take their crap with them, from your friends who have downsized or moved before you. If you are not using it daily or weekly (seasonally, where that pertains,) do NOT buy or take it on.
5. Old friends are around my age within a decade usually. New work associates are in their 20s, 30s. Sometimes teens! Keeps me young. I am mostly really impressed with how together they all are, I was not at all together at their ages, but I do feel a little nauseated when they start chatting about the latest Bachelor episode or whatever. Or when they assume I have led a staid and prudish life because I look like a librarian. Hey! My librarian look is ironic! In so many ways the new generation has come so far, but still in some I feel like they have regressed. I find myself saying all the time “I thought we had resolved that issue/barrier in the 60s! Why is it coming back to haunt me NOW?” All in all they are role models for me in many respects, and I am from time to time, I hope, a bit of a role model for them. And for that I am supprimly grateful.
I’m glad you feel similarly with all the 10×10 things going on on social media. More power to you if that’s your jam, but it feels gimicky to me, another way of commodifying a particular lifestyle. Also just a way to signal you belong to a certain tribe. Seeing what you can do with 10 items is a worthwhile mental exercise but perhaps doesn’t need to be actually rolled out in real time? I don’t know, it seems excessive and maybe not respectful toward the rest of your wardrobe. Like, if you have more than 10 things, maybe work on wearing all of them instead of just some?
But I digress. I’m 30 and wouldn’t go back to any other age. I have really fond memories of other times in my life but I’m willing to bet in another 10 years I’ll have other fond memories of this time in my life. We always want what’s gone. I have built under myself a fortress of stability and self-awareness that I wouldn’t want to trade, because it means I’d also have to take the insecurity and pain of figuring things out that comes with your teens and 20s.
I wash my face with water and makeup remover if necessary at night and in the morning. In the morning I follow by lotion and maybe makeup, in the night I follow with a light overnight mask. I wear sunblock when I’ll be in the sun. That’s it.
When I started at my office I was the youngest person, 25 years old. Now thank goodness there are other people younger than me. The rest is a mix of 30s, 40s, 50s. My friends and partners have always skewed older than me though. Does this make me an old soul?
I think the hardest part of getting older is the same thing that’s hard about life in general — letting go of the moments. They all pass, especially the good ones. Having lost my mom when I was in my mid twenties, I too fear losing more of my family. I watch my dad aging and it makes me sad and anxious about his future and thinking about when I will need to take a greater role in his care.
The best part about getting older is the stockpile of experience you can build your life around. Less anxiety over the things you’ve been through — you made it out to the other side and lived to tell the tale.
Good questions!
1. How old are you?
I’m 45. Not gonna lie, this hit me harder than 40, mostly because it’s halfway to 90.
2. How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I’ve been using Noxema as my cleanser since I was 13 and I like the continuity. I do use a face oil now and a moisturizing mask regularly. It’s amazing — the last year was the year things seemed to dry out. My style has been monochromatic and trend-independent since I was in my 20s and discovered the idea of a uniform a la Steve Jobs. And my hair now has more gray in it; I’m thinking of doing a denim- or forest-green rinse. At this point, middle-aged ladies with purple or electric-blue color seems a bit cliche; I like the idea of a more subtle take.
3. Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
I loved my twenties for the abundance of opportunities and new experiences, and if I could be guaranteed to listen to older me, I’d go back and say, “Travel on a shoestring more. It’s okay to adventure alone. And for the love of God, chuck all that graduation money into a Roth IRA.”
4. Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
I work with people who are all ages. It’s highly instructive because it helps me age better — to keep from getting stuck in a rut, and keep me out and about in the world as it is now, not as it used to be. I think being able to understand things globally requires one to keep moving forward and seeing how people invent or reinvent their daily realities. My SO and I are two weeks apart in age and I love being able to share pop culture references with him. It’s one more layer in our bond.
5. What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
I miss the days when I had seemingly unlimited energy and a lot more physical resilience. These days, I have to practice good sleep hygiene, eat well and hydrate in order to maintain a modicum of energy. And if I get the flu, it’s no longer 48 hours and done — it lingers for four days. But I love now having all the emotional tools for handling my stuff. I feel so much saner, calmer and competent than in my wild and adventurous twenties!
How old are you? 31, rapidly approaching 32.
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color? Well, the easy one: my hair hasn’t changed a bit. I go back and forth between a pixie and a bob. I’ve done it enough times that I now enjoy the grow-out period (I just trimmed off my baby-mullet today and cleaned up a bit around ears/bangs; I think it looks pretty good!). I never dye it, but I try to henna it once or twice a year for the volume/conditioning effects. I have a handful of greys, but I rather like them. Skin-wise, the biggest change is wearing sunscreen. I started about 3 years ago, when I was living in the desert southwest. I use an SPF30 zinc CC cream for daily use; or Badger Sport Block if I expect to be sweating. I went through a heinous bout of eczema last winter (first one back in New England, with wood heat = extremely dry skin). I tore out all the carpet in the house and replaced it with hardwood, and put high quality air filters in the bedrooms. This seems to have mitigated the problem, but I also totally changed up my skincare routine, lots of trial and error, but the end result is I have a regimen I’m super happy with. I never wore make-up when I was younger (too cheap, and I had mostly decent skin). These days I’ll wear some for fun, or if I want to add some “polish” — most days now I apply my tinted day cream, comb my eyebrows, and throw some colour on my lips with a lip crayon — I have one from 100% Pure that’s my favourite. As for personal style — I think it’s always evolving, but there’s a consistent core. I’ve re-embraced black after thinking it was “too boring” for a while in my 20s. Overall, I’d say my look is more streamlined and intentional, but that’s because I actually buy my clothes instead of just acquiring things randomly from thrift stores and free bins. 😉
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older? Looking back, I had a great childhood. I would’t go back to it, but I was very lucky and had access to a lot of cultural capital, despite growing up pretty poor. My last year of high school was fantastic, as were my last two years of undergrad. And the year I met my husband I look back on very fondly — we were both thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail solo and ended up hiking it together. I wouldn’t go back to that year, but I think we’ll do another thru-hike together once DS is a bit older. But, in an overall sense, my life is much happier and lower-drama than it ever has been. Which is good, but sometimes feels… boring. My only advice to my younger self would be not to worry so much about what other people think, and not to compare myself to others. I mean, I still have to remind myself of that everyday, but I think I’m less anxious and self-conscious than I used to be.
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters? I work with kids — who are much younger than me, of course — but the teachers I work with tend to be quite a bit older (in their 50s). I think it suits my personality; I love mentoring and being mentored. I can be really competitive in a group of same-age peers, which probably isn’t healthy. DH’s coworkers are mostly 40s-60s too. We both have a handful of friends our age, from college and previous jobs, but they don’t live close to us. DH is 3 years older than me; it feels pretty insignificant most of the time. We grew up in different countries, speaking different languages, and took pretty different paths in general before we met — so age is sort of the last thing we think about when it comes to our differences.
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part?? The hardest part — um, worrying that I’ve missed the boat on a “career” — I teach, but it’s very much just a bunch of gigs right now, not something full-time with benefits. I realize that will all change as DS gets older and I have more time, but it does cause a lot of anxiety. The best part — everything else! Being healthy, strong, smart, capable, talented, and raising a little person to be the same. Financial stability. A vastly improved relationship with my parents. Being in a really stable, supportive partnership with zero drama.
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far? When you’re on the fence about something, just say yes to it. There’s rarely anything to lose. It’s better to make a mistake than miss an opportunity.
1.How old are you? Just turned 31!
2.How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I’ve never once dyed my hair, and actually have a semi-resolution to try and style my hair more this year. I like letting it air dry but admittedly have zero patience for styling it. We’ll see how this “styling” trial goes (not well, so far!). My style tends to flow somewhere between preppy and artsy. When I was younger I wore ALL the colors. From my college love affair with the beat generation up to currently, I wore/wear neutral colors and mostly black (gradually branching out from this with navys and browns — rebellious!). I tried up until recently to just pick either artsy or preppy since I don’t think they *always* mix well, but I’ve given up as it’s really just what I gravitate towards. I figured out my skin type as “combination” back in my early twenties when I had time and money, but my skin changed once I turned 30 and I haven’t quite figured out how to work with it yet, although I think my diet contributes to it… such as suddenly becoming lactose intolerant on my 27th birthday!
3.Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
Ummm I don’t think I’d go back to any age. I look back fondly at many times in my life but I value the wisdom I’ve accumulated over the years and prefer that to a younger age. I think if there was something I’d tell myself, I think it’d be to live within my means and save during my first job! Still paying off the debt from it. I’d probably also have dove into my personal spirituality a bit more, as I’m focusing on that a lot this year.
4.Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
Many of my friends are my age or 1-2 years older, and my husband is 6 months older than me. I actually found that in dating I prioritized dating someone close in age to me. I don’t think it’d matter much now, but when he and I met 8 years ago I really wanted to date someone who was in the same life stage as me and it did actually make it much easier to relate to someone who was also adjusting to post-college life. In many ways because of that experience, I feel like I “grew up” with him. I don’t think age matters much as I often relate well to women in their late 50’s and 60’s (yay for loving antiques, reading and learning to knit!), but my husband has many friends in their 40’s and the generational gap feels more apparent with them for whatever reason.
5.What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
Hardest part is dealing with the sometimes sudden bodily changes! I was a runner in high school and have the knees of someone twice my age, so that I’ve been dealing with for a while. I think I’ve hit the age where things like facial hair becomes darker, I can’t eat the things I used to be able to, and my skin is more reactive. I’m at the age where my grandparents are passing but I agree losing my parents or any extended family will be a big shock for me. Not looking forward to that.
My favorite part is the wisdom and just life experience. I love Sage archetypes of wise older people, and I think I aspire to be like them as I continue to age. Continuing to learn about myself, grow and become a better person is something I strive for daily and it’s one of the things I treasure most in this life.
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far?
Learning to be my own best friend, and realizing that growing, learning and changing is my purpose in life. Also, I am a very serious Capricorn and my husband is a fun-loving Gemini, and he’s taught me to not take everything *so* seriously, which has seriously improved my quality and satisfaction in my life 🙂
PPS: agreed on the 10×10 challenges. I’ve done them before and even a 30×30 which I liked better, and I do find them helpful for myself but I don’t really find them all that interesting to read about/see pictures of.
How old are you? 29, turning 30 this year.
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I messed up my skin with strong acne skincare in high school and now I just try to appreciate the process. A problem here or there is better than ruining my skin permanently. So I just use Cetaphil and some face oil.
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
I really enjoyed 18 and 19, but I would NOT go back. I would tell myself that it’s ok to not have everything figured out, that it can be an advantage to not have a clear trajectory because a lot of self discovery happens when you’re not sure where you’re going next.
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
I work pretty much exclusively with women age 70+, which is a blessing. Seriously, they are just so chill compared to people my age. It makes me feel very young in contrast, but I think a lot of their wisdom and fashion sense has rubbed off on me. I care less about what other people think.
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
I have had a lot of back and knee pain since high school. It’s genetic. So I worry about that pain amplifying as I get older. It’s also hard to adjust as a woman because I think you start to become invisible as you approach 30+. The best part is having a better sense of reality and being able to find peace in that.
P.S. I also hate Instagram. I wrote a full post about it that I’ve been weirdly afraid to post. I might give up Instagram for Lent.
oh, publish your post!! i love to read your posts.
i love being around older people, i miss my grandparents so much. i really loved being around them as much as possible, which i feel lucky that i was able to do. they were really enjoyable. well, except one of my grandfathers, he wasn’t so chill LOL – i think it’s wonderful that you’re around older women at work!
First time commenting!
1. I am about to turn 39, and I have finally reached the age when I can’t keep track of how old I am other than that I know I’m not 40…yet!
2. I was just thinking that I need a serious skincare routine. I hate washing my face because my hair gets wet, so I use those wipes. They don’t really work to get off makeup. I have switched to all natural products and makeup and seems to help a lot. I finally found hair products that work for my fine thin hair this year, but my hair will always be the bane of my existence. I try to be thankful I have no grays yet. One goal for this year is to figure out my closet and personal style.
3. I actually loved high school. I was very awkward and generally had few friends in grade school. In high school, I really came into my own and had a big social circle and cute popular boyfriends. In college, it was like I reverted back to my grade school self, so I do tend to romanticize high school quite a bit. If I could go back, I would have more fun and get drunk once or twice. I would have also focused more on my art and writing and less on trying to prove I was smart.
4. I have one good friend from high school, two cousins who are my age who are good friends, and am close with my siblings who are younger. But, through work/business I associate with women of all ages…some older and some younger. I also teach at the university level and am friends with students as they graduate. They are all at least 13 years younger, so that can be weird!
5. I agree about the parents part. I am more motivated than ever to get in and stay in shape (just had baby). My mother and aunts let themselves go and I want to be active and fit for my son so we can golf and ski and play tennis together. My favorite part of getting older is being more sure of myself. I’ve never done a word of the year before, but this year I chose “confidence”. I want to go into my 40s knowing who I am and being proud of it.
yes, to “growing, learning and changing is my purpose in life” – it’s weird, but i now feel so free and content in the knowledge that things can change any minute, and WILL change, and that’s okay. it’s something to look forward to LOL – for most of my life until recently i spent way too much time having anxiety about things not turning out the way i wanted them to or thought they should. i’m so glad to be (mostly) finished with that.
oh, and on the 10×10, i totally agree, sure it can be a wonderful exercise, but it’s turned into something sort of ewwwww
oh, welcome!! thanks for joining in 🙂
just an aside, for makeup removal, i like to use cleansing oil, rub it on my dry face, then rinse it off a little, and then rub it off with a soft washcloth. then i cleanse again with a bar soap. double cleansing is the only way i’ve ever found to get makeup off. even the natural stuff!
OMG YOU HIKED THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL???
that has long been a dream of mine. my husband and i talk about it every once in a while, although i’m not sure we’ll through-hike, more like breaking it up into pieces…and also, i’ve never camped in my life, other than with the girl scouts LOL
i love that about saying yes, you’re right, most of the time if you’re on the fence, it’s fear of the unknown that’s holding you back, and i don’t have time for that shit anymore 😉 that’s a hard lesson to learn though, i’m only just getting it…
45 is only just hitting me LOL – like last night hit me, and my birthday was november. i think just everything that’s been going on lately, and now, finally i need to start behaving like an adult!! 😉
talia, i’m so sorry you lost your mom so young. that must have been incredibly hard. i can’t even imagine. i do consider myself very lucky to at least be able to “prepare” somewhat. my mother lost her mom when she was 30, very suddenly 🙁
letting go of moments is really hard. i try to stockpile them when i’m with my mom or dad, but i know you can’t do that! lately, i’m just trying to really feel and live in every single moment, the ones i perceive as “good” and the ones that are bad, they will all pass…that is for sure.
YES to all you said about 10×10. for me it’s about rules, like sure, i can live with 10 items, no problem! but why would i WANT to when I have more, and i love all of them?? i just don’t get it. it also feels very attention-and-approval seeking to me. ugh. i hate this though, because otherwise i love looking at most of these ladies’ instagrams …
yay!! i love it whenever you comment 🙂
thank you for taking the time LOL
This will be my first time participating in a “5 Questions” but so much of what you asked are things that regularly swirl around in my head.
How old are you? 45
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I take MUCH better care of my skin now than I ever have. I have always had good skin. In my teens friends were always irritated that I rarely suffered from any kind of acne. I have been lucky. My care routine now accounts for how aging is affecting my skin. My style has finally settled down and it is so much easier to buy and get dressed because I just know what I like. After 40 I began to accept some things about myself like my height (5’0″) and stopped wearing uncomfortable heels. And my shape (curvy with no ankles), so certain cuts of pants and dresses aren’t ever going to work for me, but plenty of others make me feel great. I have never dyed my hair, I like its color (unless you count that unfortunate summer of Sun-In when I tried to become a red head and ended up an orange head.) No grey so far….good hair genes. My mother is 70 and naturally has almost no grey.
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
I would go back to my mid-30s. I enjoyed that time, but I would also like to take more risks and be bolder. I had an unfortunate melt-down when I turned 30, at a friend’s wedding. I would tell that self to calm down and stop being so conservative with decisions. I wish I had taken a teaching post overseas or traveled more.
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
Because my SO and I are child-free most of our friends are older since their kids are grown. Though the children of people our age are becoming teens so we have gotten back in touch with friends from long ago who are taking back their lives. I am two years younger than my SO, but this does not seem to matter. It did when we dated back in HS because we broke up when he went off to college. But 27 years later we got back in touch and the difference doesn’t matter any more. At work we are all sorts of ages, which I like.
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
To echo some others, the hardest part is facing that my parents are aging. They are very active and in good health, but that will not always be the case. I am also not too thrilled about how long it takes a bruise to heal or the hair that grows where I would prefer it not to. The best part is the wisdom. I feel like I know myself and understand the world so much better now. Though I suspect at 55 I will think about how naive I was at 45.
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far?
I have learned not to take everything so seriously and to take more risks. At 40 I made a major life change by ending a long-term relationship, quitting my job, and moving from the suburbs to a big city. I wish I had been bolder when I was younger.
Please share what you found for fine, thin hair. I have tried soooo many different products over the years and just cannot seem to land on the perfect choice.
When 10×10 rolls around, I am glad I’m not on instagram for exactly the reasons you state.
How old are you? I’m 30.
How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color? I’m focusing more on moisturizing my skin than ever. I’ve also embraced the things about my style that aren’t conventional or traditionally feminine. I have short hair and wear mostly black, and in the past year or so have stopped caring when people criticize either of those things!
Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older? I love being 30. People told me that the 30s are a good decade for women especially, bringing a lot of confidence and less giving a fuck, and I already feel that. I always struggle with the “what I’d tell my younger self” question… she was headstrong and wouldn’t have listened to advice!
Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters? Most of my friends are within a few years of my age. My husband and I are within a few months of each other. I’d like to have some more age diversity in my friends group, I think. I especially want to befriend more mothers, because I plan to have a kid in a few years and would like to see what it’s really like for my peers.
What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part?? I love gaining confidence and not giving a fuck! Well, giving less of one. Maybe the hardest part is the narrowing of possibilities for my life. Like, at 20, it was literally like “my life can be ANYTHING!” and now, I have a sense of what’s possible and what most likely isn’t. Which is fine, but it’s a different perspective.
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far?
I guess that the way I am is fine. I think a lot, I’m quiet a lot, I try hard and care deeply about things. I like to wear black and I only want one kid and I like living in the city and I like having a 9-5 job. All these things caused anxiety and self-consciousness for me at one time or another, but they are all fine. I can stop fighting them.
Too funny you girls and also lovely. I feel like your old auntie
1. How old are you? Clocking in at 54
2. How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? I use all the Ordinary serums and scrub! Hello Nandine on Youtube
3. Your style? Very American 70’s Girl; jeans, loose fitting tees. Sandals in summer, Cowboy boots and wedge booties in fall and winter. Havent really changed those go-to’s .
4. Hair color? Natural with a little help from my friends.
5. Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to?Loved my late 30’s -40’s I had three hot boyfriends that I rotated literally and figuratively- lol!
6. What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older? Don’t sweat the small stuff- cliche, but no joke
7. Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? We are a mix at work my grade in my school is 2nd mostly in their late 30’s -early 40’s We crack eachother up!
8. Are you older or younger than your SO? Same age- he is 6 months older
9. Do you think it matters? No
10. What is the hardest part of getting older? Not being able to see without glasses!! The best part?? Yes, the not giving a F—.
BONUS QUESTION: What’s the most meaningful thing you’ve learned thus far?
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
1. How old are you? Forty. Almost forty-one.
2. How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color? I use more specialized products – an eye cream, a neck cream, a nighttime moisturizer, a daytime moisturizer, different lotion for my hands than my limbs… it’s kind of a lot. I have stopped wearing foundation because it highlights fine lines. I usually wear a tinted moisturizer for balance on days when my skin is rosy. For makeup I only wear undereye concealer, eyeliner and mascara. (And lip gloss – never matte lipstick for the same reason I don’t wear foundation). I color the gray out of my hair and while I’m there I usually get my brows tinted so I don’t have to mess with that either.
3. Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older? I really enjoyed college and grad school but that was more about the lack of real-life responsibilities and excitement of learning/academia than being a twenty-something. I wouldn’t tell my younger self anything about getting older. I wish I had a better perspective, but I pretty much hate all of the changes my body has gone through (aging skin, slowing metabolism, ease of injury, etc.). I have led a relatively healthy life so I don’t think many changes in diet or daily habit would have slowed down the aging process for me. I would have fret about it if I’d realized it was coming so soon. Better to not have known.
4. Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters? Most of my friends and past SOs have been roughly the same age. I’m on the tail end of GenX and seem to get along best with other GenX-ers. I once read an article about people my age, born in the mid- to late-70s, characterized as the “Oregon Trail” generation. I thought it was an apt observation. (Check out the article by Anna Garvey!)
5. What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part?? For me the hardest part about getting older is accepting things that are out of my control. (Like getting older – I hate how vain I am when it comes to the aging process). The best part is feeling fewer consequences or pushback for being assertive. As a woman, at least, the “bossy” or “bitchy” label starts to wane after a certain age and people are just glad you’re the person who gets things done, or speaks up when other people would rather stay quiet, whether it’s at work or in family/social life.
i know what you mean about being “too old to enjoy” things, but definitely, 40 is NOT old LOL – i think that a lot too. but then, my mom is in her late 70’s and she has traveled and enjoyed doing “fun” things more than ever. but i get the anxiety…and the feeling that life is passing you by. but it’s really not !! 🙂
Function of Beauty! You can customize so I did strengthening, volumizing, and minimizing oil. My hair has always been super oily until I started using this. And then I use Aveda Phomollient and sometimes their thickening spray. They work best together but sometimes I don’t have the budget for both.
Yes, do it! The AT is a great crash-course in hiking and camping. Lots of people start with little-to-no experience. The community along the trail and in nearby towns is hugely supportive. Definitely pick a section and give it a go, see how you like it. In all honesty, even if you’re doing the whole you only ever spend 2-3 nights at a time in the woods (maybe a bit longer when you do the Hundred Mile Wilderness in Maine), then take a break in town/at a hostel to shower, buy groceries, etc. I found approaching it as a series of consecutive short trips made it much less intimidating. In terms of age-demographics: most of the people doing the whole thing at once are either college-age/twenties, or 65+ and fully retired. For the most part, the 30/40/50 somethings I’ve met on trails are doing it in sections, because they have to plan around work schedules.
Thru-hiking the AT is a bucket list item of mine too. My kiddo’s still in elementary school but I’m thinking that perhaps the first year she’s in college, I’ll do it. It gives me lots of time to dream and prepare!
I’ll be answering these questions in a blog post next week! Age has been on my mind a lot, now that I’m in my late 30s. As always, you inspire me so much!!
1) How old are you?
I’ll be 39 in July
2) How have you adjusted your skincare as you’ve gotten older? Your style? Hair color?
I’ve actually stopped slathering a million different products on like I used to and my skin is much happier for it. I was always trying to fix problems with more and it turns out that all I need was less. Same goes for my hair.
Style-wise, I tried to be a girly-girl (dresses and skirts and makeup and nail polish and accessories) and that’s just not me. I work with soil, I ride horses and bikes, I get sweaty and a bit gross most days. So I’m back to jeans and tees and sneakers, that’s what works for my life right now. Fantasy me still wants to wear heels and skirts and silk blouses though.
3) Is there an age you really enjoyed and would like to go back to? What would you try to tell your younger self about getting older?
I really enjoyed my late 20’s even though it was a time of massive upheaval for me.
I would tell my younger self to be more careful – don’t go throwing yourself down hills at breakneck speed on a bike or volunteering to ride that crazy horse that no one else wants to ride…..
I would tell myself to follow my dream, that the only one I’m actually going to hurt but not doing so is me.
4) Do you associate/work with people your own age mostly, or younger? older? How does it make you feel? Are you older or younger than your SO? Do you think it matters?
Most of my friends are older than me. I think I’ve gravitated to older friends because they’ve had their children (i.e. their kids are at a point where they have their own lives) and so now my friends have more time for adventuring. Friends my own age and younger still have young kids.
My SO is the same age as me. Well, he’s 3 months older and I make sure he knows it 😉
5) What is the hardest part of getting older? The best part??
The hardest part for me is all the injuries I carry from doing dumb stuff when I was young!
I also have a lot of regrets which I don’t know how to let go of.
The best part is that I’m finally learning that IDGAF. Also I’ve been a nice person most of my life, I’m now focusing on being kind (google nice versus kind if you don’t know what I mean)
Just wanted to say that I love to hear your thoughts on this.
<3