I have never been one of those people with pride of place. I don’t have an affinity for any particular place I’ve lived, just because I lived there, or grew up there, and beyond family, have no attachments to a certain city or geographic location.
My heart hurts for any people or animals who suffer, no matter where they live or what they look like.
But wow…Texas right now.
Everyone we know who is in the path of the storm is safe so far, but I don’t think we’ll even know the true impact until it stops raining and flood waters start to recede. But I worry so much about lost pets and animals who were left behind or can’t find higher ground. So I gave as much money as I can afford to right now to the SPCA of Texas. If only I had more to give.
I’d like to do more though, and not just when the need is acute. Since we adopted Dagny from our local animal shelter (and I had a complete breakdown from seeing all the dogs) I’ve wanted to save all the dogs. Ultimately, we’d love to do this by fostering and adopting more dogs and/or even in the long term, move to a place with a lot of land (farm?) where we can save even MORE dogs.
But I should also volunteer, I have time. I could go to the shelter and take dogs out to play, or help with adoption events. The problem is I get so emotional and overwhelmed just THINKING about dogs in shelters that I become paralyzed. I’m that person who has to mute or turn off the TV when that commercial comes on with Sarah McLachlan. You know the one.
I turn my head or don’t read or listen to news stories about animals in harm’s way. EVEN THE ONES THAT END WELL. It’s bad.
So I think the only way to get over that is to just do it; to just take a first step and help in some small way, other than just giving money. My personal distress and emotional discomfort is so small compared to the suffering that is out there. I feel weak and a little embarrassed to admit that I haven’t volunteered to help animals for that reason…but there it is.
So I ask you, do you volunteer? What is your cause? Have you always volunteered? (I am sad to admit that I never have – as a family when I was young, we never did, or even talked about the importance of volunteering. We did always donate, and provide money to causes we believed in, but never gave hands-on help.)
If you’re as emotional as I am, how did you get over it to volunteer in difficult situations anyway?
No matter where you live, I hope you and yours are safe.
I’ve been volunteering in nursing homes and with intergenerational community projects since elementary school. I was in choir, so we often went to nursing homes to sing around Christmas time. I volunteered with a community organizing group for a couple years more recently, but got completely burnt out. My day job is managing volunteers at a thrift shop, so I figure that’s as good as it’s going to get for the time being!
I tried to volunteer with the SPCA, but like you, I wanted to adopt ALL the animals and it was too emotional for me.
Yes, the past two years I have volunteered twice a week in a classroom to help first-graders who mostly speak Spanish at home learn to read in English.
I just decided I would do it and then I refused to let myself off the hook:). Took like two years to get all the paperwork done and the time committed, but, it has been enormously rewarding, if a lot of work.
I know exactly how you feel, Grechen. Our family really wanted to adopt a dog last year, but I was so afraid to go to the local shelter and see all the dogs, plus I knew it would be traumatic for my kids, too. So I started following a local pet foster group in Pflugerville who takes care of shelter animals, and that’s how we found Marnie. I saw a picture of her on Twitter and fell in love. The flip side of fostering animals is that you have to give them up, but we still keep in touch with Marnie’s foster mom so she can see how she’s doing.
I used to volunteer at a local food pantry when my boys started preschool and I had a few extra hours. It was hard work and emotionally taxing, but I enjoyed it, overall. Now, I volunteer with my sons’ school doing something similar to Lisa, reading with first graders. First grade is THE year to learn to read, because statistics show that, after that, the chance of becoming a fluent reader decreases significantly each year.
Anyway, volunteering should be fun and rewarding for you, too. You might be able to find something that suits your talents and personality and isn’t sad. I think it’s great that you know what will be emotionally draining for you, and there’s nothing wrong with avoiding those situations. Hopefully you can find something that you really like. What about one of those places that provides clothing and makeup for women who are job hunting?
I actually work for the agency that does the sad commercials and I can’t watch them either but I work with animals all the time so don’t let that stop you. There are many shelters that structure their volunteer program so you are really just dealing with mostly positive outcomes – adoptions, fostering, etc.
Fostering animals is so great (would Dagny be able to handle a little of kittens in his house?) if you have the time and resources. I find with fostering that you do the bulk of the volunteering at home and then you bring them to an adoption event or the shelter and they will place them (or you can help place them). Granted, you have to let go of them when they’re ready to be adopted. I cry EVERY time I do it. I foster cats for my agency in my office and even though I facilitate the adoption usually I cry every single time they leave (not in front of the adopter, obviously, that’s just bad form!). Some of those cats have been with me 6 months or more and went from shut down and scared to being able to show well in front of strangers – it’s a hard thing to hand over that trust. But I feel like my options are to do it and help or not do it and not help. I’d rather they be helped. It gets easier. And you can’t adopt all the animals. I tried. I had 9 cats at one point! It’s not a reasonable or sustainable thing!
You can also help shelters in other ways – just working adoption events, helping with fundraisers, etc. You don’t have to have hands-on deep relationships with the shelter animals to help!
I volunteer for a number of organizations, mostly dealing with supporting vulnerable women and refugees, but then I am retired. I did very little volunteering when I was working/had young children. I was worried it would be too hard, too painful, but in fact the resilience and inner joy of people has been personally strengthening for me. And I find I enjoy providing a service, however small, even pouring a hot coffee or finding a tissue for someone. It may not be much, but it may be the only nice thing that happened to that person that day! I wouldn’t worry too much about being overwhelmed. I, too, cannot watch sad stories on TV about animals or small children. But I think when you are out there making a contribution, and you see how much fun the animals have and how much they appreciate it, you will find it something to look forward to and fully enjoy the time. Besides, there are always staff and other volunteers around who are sensitive to volunteers’ feelings and will provide support and a sounding board as you gain experience. You will not be in it alone!
Oh I will also say that I am careful to cultivate gratitude around this work and to celebrate all our “wins” — I have a framed collage in my office of all my former fosters currently in homes, adopted out from my office since the program started. Soon it will be two framed collages – I’m on my 12th cat and some of them took significant socialization work. I’ve had one-eyed FIV+ cats, FIV+ cats who liked people but didn’t like to be pet, two blind cats, etc. Mostly they’re just shut down shy cats from bad situations but it makes me SO happy to know that these guys were mostly able to show well and be placed because we got them out of the shelter and into an office environment which is more chill and I worked with them. Sometimes the hard work comes with so many rewards that it overshadows the bad days. <3
This is such a great and timely post, Grechen! I know it is heart-rending to witness the suffering of any living creature, and I feel so very lucky to have found two wonderful ways of volunteering.
First though, I feel it’s worthwhile to mention that I began volunteering when I was in the depths of a profound clinical depression. I felt such despair, I could barely get out of bed, and it got to the point where I would have been hospitalized had I not had children and a husband I wanted to stay around for. While I was diligent about remaining under the care of my neuropsychiatrist, I also tried to find things that would occupy me in a way that was not too challenging, but required me to be present and in the moment. At first, I was only putting one foot in front of the other, but over time, I have become completely engaged and now embrace all that being a volunteer has to offer. Thank goodness, the depression is at bay and I am myself again. And the most fantastic long-term benefit is that I found two great ways to be of service to others. I still volunteer two days a week at the Museum of Tolerance (see below) , and though I haven’t got any kittens at this moment (because we were traveling), I will be right back to fostering soon. To anyone who is fortunate enough to be able to consider volunteering in any way, shape or form, just know that you will benefit as much (if not more than) the causes you choose to support.
Here are the two ways I volunteer:
1. During kitten season (peaking between June and August, but really all year round) I foster kittens for the ASPCA. It is beyond adorable and so fulfilling to know that I am helping these tiny creatures get to the all-important 2 months of age at which they can be formally adopted. The ASPCA is just amazing — they provide all the medical care, food and supplies, and the fosterer just needs to take a free, hour long on-line course, fill out some paperwork and if you are approved, just love the kitten, play with them, feed them and make sure they are thriving. It’s a wonderful way to help out, and even though it is very hard to give them up when it’s time for them to be adopted, there are always more kittens that need help right away. Many fosterers end up keeping the kittens they’re fostering. And though you have to foster for a minimum of one month, there is no long-term commitment. I can’t say enough about how warming and fulfilling it is to be a kitten foster, and I highly recommend contacting your local ASPCA if you love kittens and would like to become part of the program.
Also hugely important to me:
2. Two days a week I volunteer at The Museum of Tolerance (MOT) here in Los Angeles. It is such a marvelous place with a message that has always been of the utmost importance, and seemingly even more so now. The MOT is the educational arm of the Simon Wiesenthal Center for Human Rights, and promotes tolerance, respect and understanding for all human beings. We have over 150,000 school children who come through the museum each year, as well as training for law-enforcers, teachers and other administrators. It is such a unique, amazing and valuable place and I love volunteering there.
The Museum of Tolerance and kitten fostering just happened to be the perfect balance for me. I know that every city or town has countless ways in which anyone can be of service, and there is no better feeling than doing so. Go for it!! xoxoxox
That is so awesome, Holly! I love that you have found the perfect balance and also that it’s so fulfilling. <3
Just because I know it can be confusing for others – the ASPCA is American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to animals. It's a national group that works with local shelters but is not a local shelter or related to them in any way except possibly grant funding or assistance with programs group-to-group. Just like the HSUS is the Humane Society of the United States. Neither are umbrella groups – the larger groups are just groups who work on a national platform and have some efforts with other shelters or disaster response, etc across the US.
Locally there are HS (humane societies) and SPCAs (Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). So any experience with a local SPCA and HS might not be the same as the next SPCA or HS…and not the same as the experience at the ASPCA or HSUS (and even NYC programs and LA programs under the ASPCA have different requirements). They're each kind of different and have their own program requirements. So, totally depends on where you volunteer! 🙂 It is so great that they make it so easy for you to volunteer!
My husband and I volunteer with Saint Vincent de Paul, making calls on our neighbors in need. We help with rent, utilities, and food… We also donate money to many causes. I am very lucky that my employer has a generous matching plan for donations!
I volunteer at my local shelter and I foster dogs for a couple of rescues here in the northeast. These rescues pull most of their dogs from southern high kill shelters (many in TX!). There is an overwhelming need for local fosters because most dogs need to be pulled, vetted and held locally for 10-14 days before they can be transported north to find adoptive families. Every time a dog is pulled it makes room and gives more time to another dog in the shelter. It seems to be a never ending problem. There really needs to be a lot more emphasis and education on spaying and neutering and changing the mindset of pet owners. You can’t let yourself be consumed with the fact that you can’t help them all. You do what you can and hope eventually it will make a difference.
I have a hard time volunteering. I am not great with new people and situations (yay anxiety!!) and volunteering stresses me out A LOT. So I donate. I have regular monthly donations to the causes that are close to my heart. I used to feel bad about it, but now I accept my limitations. I do what I can and that’s the best I can do.
that’s perfect cathy –
I volunteer every Saturday afternoon at the county animal shelter, mostly socializing cats and doing adoption counseling. I know it’s hard for many people to volunteer at a shelter. You can probably look online at what volunteer opportunities appeal to you and see if anything clicks. As you have a pit bull mix, you could be a great ambassador for larger dogs or even walk or supplement their training. If you aren’t comfortable in the shelter environment yet, you could always help with follow-up calls on adoptions to see if the adopter has questions on behavior or needs some encouragement while a dog settles into its new home with a new family. Volunteering with a rescue group by helping at adoption events is usually welcomed. Fostering is always needed, but I don’t know how Dagny would feel about this : )
I get overwhelmed at the animal shelter, too. Fostering could be fun, and would also involve less time looking at all the animals in cages.
I love volunteering with an organization called LGBT Books to Prisoners. Incarcerated people send us requests for books, and we put together packages for them from donated books. We always include a note telling them why we chose which books we did. Books are such a source of comfort and enlightenment, and for some people, the note we send is the only personal letter they receive. It’s also fun to buy books really cheaply, like at a library sale, and bring them to the office, knowing that they’ll be sent to people who really, really want them.
thank you carole – i know that anything i can do will help, if only a little. it all just makes me so sad…
holly, thank you so much for sharing! you are incredibly inspiring 🙂
i’m going to do it.
oh! i love this so much!!! what a wonderful thing you’re doing.
yes, you’re right – i’m not sure how dagny would do with foster dogs, it might be too much “change” for her to handle…since she’s moderately anxious already! thank you for the suggestions !
thanks for your comments jesse! i love kittens but am SO ALLERGIC. having a cat in our dorm room in college put me in the hospital for a week 🙁
i think i’ll start with a more hands-off role, and try to work my way into working with the animals? the thing is…i like animals more than most people a lot of the time LOL
clothing, i can do. makeup, probably not haha!! there are so many options out there, i just need to do more research on my options and schedule time for me to volunteer…
you guys are all so amazing 🙂
thank you lisa, i need to do that too: just decide what i’m going to do and do it. no excuses 🙂
i always feel most rewarded after hard work, so i definitely get that. i used to teach pre-school and THAT was hard. but i loved it so much…
oh, i’ve thought a lot about volunteering at nursing homes recently too…but i think that would also make me sad 🙁
ugh….
Wow, I’m impressed at how active everyone is, helping others (with time or resources) is such a rewarding experience.
Right now I feel guilty that I’m not volunteering. I was mentoring through the local Boys & Girls Club for the past few years, but had to stop due to my health (it was a hard decision as my mentee is an amazing kid) . My spouse coaches a robotics team through the same Boys & Girls Club, so I try to help him with things here and there. We actually started volunteering at the club to help with his anxiety, it shakes up his routine and is so overstimulating that he can’t get anxious about his normal triggers (there is nothing predictable about a room full of social awkward middle schoolers). Most Boys & Girls Clubs are thrilled to get volunteers, even if it is coming in once a month to help kids with homework for an hour.
Right now I’m washing all my old work (slacks, suits, dress shirts, etc.) and am going to drop them off at the local homeless teen center (so they have outfits to wear to job interviews). I’m hoping I can maybe work on volunteering for them from home (contacting business about donations, or something like that).
I really wanted to foster kittens this spring, but I don’t think my dog could handle having the kittens in quarantine for two weeks before being able to interact with them (he is obsessed with cats and would have chewed through a door to get a chance to groom them). My dog loves people and cats (even rabbits, not so much dogs though) and is hypoallergenic, so I want to eventually suck it up and take him to classes so he can become a therapy dog of some sort (not really a strong interest for me, but he would love it and be good at it).
It is amazing how you can incorporate helping others into things you might already be doing, or like doing (like perusing book sales…what a simple but impactful charity by the way, thank you for helping people that most of society ignores). My spouse travels quite often for work, so he collects all the toiletries from the hotels he stays at to donate to a charity that helps run a migrant farm worker camp (this is an issue in CA wine country as the all the grapes are harvested by migrants, but the cost of trying to live in the greater SF Bay Area is insane).
Ideally most of us that are financial stable would donate a percentage of our income to reputable charities, but if that isn’t happening, little efforts here and there are important (budgeting well is a work in progress for many, myself included). One thing I’ve been trying to work on is helping people when the ask for “change” (a buck or five here and there is doable most of the time). Yes, there is always a chance that it will be spent on something you don’t believe in (drugs, etc.), but helping others shouldn’t be about passing judgement (just think of all the unnecessary impulse purchases you make, cough cough, $15 lip gloss, $15 hipster magazine, tenth billion reusable grocery bag, $10 herbal tea with a pretty tin, whole season of a show on iTunes because you can’t wait a week until it is on Netflix, etc.).
What a thoughtful post Grechen and, like all of us, we’re all overwhelmed and looking for ways to help the people in Houston. That said, I am also comforted. Not only with your post, but with your listener’s. Everybody commenting, you’re amazing. I’ll return to your blog even after you’ve posted Grechen to ready your commenters who are all amazing (BTW!).
Long time volunteer. I have never seen the twin towers during September 11th. I can’t.
Your post is so honest and I loved reading it!
I volunteered as a dog walker for a rescue and got bit really bad by one of the dogs. Even after hearing my ear piercing scream, the dog acted as if nothing happened and walked nicely back with me as I clutched my painful hand. No one could figure out what had happened – he was totally fine with me petting him previously! That dog is now happily adopted but I’ll probably never get rid of this huge scar on my hand!
I guess this long story is just to say, volunteering isn’t just a feel-good, do-good thing. There’s time and risk involved for sure. My sister was volunteering for a long time feeding the homeless downtown and there was a shooting right on the same block one of the nights – all the volunteers were frazzled to say the least.
I try to support my friends and people who are more experienced with whatever volunteering, missions, etc that they try to do. I do feel guilty that I’m not doing more!
Thank you for sharing your story in such an open way, Holly. I also suffer from bouts of severe clinical depression and one of the pieces that has helped me get back on my feet is being ACTIVE in my community.
I grew up in a church-going, volunteering family. We also donated to a lot of organizations and it’s a lesson that Bill and I have passed on to our kids, one of whom is in the Peace Corps in Colombia and another who served on the board of Gilda’s Club Chicago before having 3 kids. I’ve had times in my life when I’ve volunteered more: Teaching Sr. High Sunday School and Youth Group when my oldest girls were babies (the kids loved to keep them occupied!), visiting inmates in prison (along with my husband…talk about scared!) to lead Bible studies, but I decided that one wasn’t for me, forming a weekly women’s group for support, prayer and (yes) Bible Study…we often made meals for one another when a new baby arrived or someone had surgery or illness. I miss that! But I did enjoy reading with a first grade native Spanish speaker when we lived in Rochester, MN and helping out my daughter’s 4th grade teacher with grading papers. (Wow! That was a long time ago…Anna is a sophomore in college!)
Since having a lot of health issues, surgeries, a severe back injury compounded with depression, I’ve backed away from volunteer work. I’m still active at church, but I want to be out in the community more as a volunteer. My work schedule, which has been a lifesaver in the summer, will soon wind down since it’s based on the summer tourist season. Schools always need volunteers, and our food pantry is quite active. So maybe it’s time for me to find something new!
Grechen, you sound like you’ve found your niche! Thanks for this post! 🙂
Yay to the doggie rescue! My kitty is also a rescue (she was a feral kitten I took home from my prior workplace). There are many ways you can volunteer Gretchen. Organizations need help in all areas/tasks including office help, fundraising, etc. For example, if your humane society has an annual gala to raise funds, you could be on the planning committee or be just a volunteer for the day of the event as an extra pair of hands at the gala checking people in, etc. I work for a museum and we have many different types of volunteers at all capacities. We have docents who work regularly each week giving tours to visitors. We also have volunteers who come just a few times per month to provide office assistance (like filing documents in accounting). If you click on “volunteer” of our local friends of the library website, they will inquire on what you are interested in (working in the used bookstore, being a day volunteer at the annual book sale or helping to organize incoming donations). Bloggers or those with social media presence can also help by providing exposure and publicity for the organizations they support. Many not for profits have limited resources and need all types of support. We don’t always have enough room in our labor budgets to meet the needs of the organization without the generosity of volunteers. So, if hands on with the animals is tough, there are still so many ways you can give your heart and your skills to help a charitable mission. You can find something that is a good fit for you and your schedule.
I’ve volunteered for not-for-profit organizations since I was a teen. My dad is an avid volunteer. In his retirement he coaches the Science Bowl team 4X per week at the high school he used to teach at. My mom was a “Big Sister” for Big Brother/Big Sister but is mainly a rescuer in her home life (of animals/children) rather than doing formal volunteering. I’ve walked for whale research, solicited silent auction items for the American Heart Association fundraising events and helped to organize a WordPress conference (WordCamp). I’ve also been on social media teams for various fundraising or local maker events. Right now, I’m not volunteering for anything because my full time job is for a not for profit. I also switched 2/3rd of my charitable giving budget to my employer but will still give the remaining 1/3rd to other organizations I support.
Since there seem to be a lot of animal lovers contributing to this post (yay!), I would just like to take a moment to mention the group comfortforcritters.org. It is an organization that allows volunteers to crochet, knit, or otherwise assemble blankets for shelter animals, so that the fur-babies have something warm and fuzzy to call their own before they are adopted into their forever homes.
I am going through an impossible time in my life right now: leaving an abusive marriage, moving 1200 miles away, enduring a high-conflict divorce, taking care of my two fur-babies on my own, the loss of my income….and so on and on (I’m sure that many of you can relate to a difficult life phase). I simply don’t have the mental or emotional stamina to make it to a shelter to volunteer right now in person.
But…I can crochet blankets for the fur-babies in the shelters. It is highly meditative to sit and crochet; it calms my mind and soul, and I love knowing that I am creating something that will make a doggie or a kitty feel better and bring them some comfort. I am doing something, and that is what counts.
Be sure to check out the website if you are interested in helping, but maybe can’t make it to a shelter!
Jesse anne, thank you so much for your kind words. And also for the clarification!! I made contact with the ASPCA through the internet, so I hadn’t really grasped the distinction between that and the local SPCA and others (though I ought to have – lol). You’re so right, though — they do make it easy for you to volunteer. And it’s great, because the ASPCA arranges for the kittens to be delivered to you.
xoxox
Oh Grechen, that’s wonderful! Thank you for your kind words. It warms my heart to hear that I might have inspired you, because you have inspired me for so long with your awesome blog. You are such a well-intentioned person, that I know that whatever way you find to volunteer, you’re going to be a tremendous help. Just choose whatever speaks to your heart.
xoxoxo
Mamavalveeta, you are extraordinary! Thank you for your kind words, and also for sharing your challenges as well. I so empathize with you and the strength it takes just to function while ill with the crippling-ness of depression (let alone the relentless awfulness of back pain – which can also color dark your every waking moment), I really applaud how much you have done regardless, and the beautiful example you and your husband have obviously set for your children. Our world needs people and families like you and yours.
You know, I can’t remember whether or not I’ve ever commented on your comments on this blog, but I have read them over the year and a half that I have followed Grechen, and I’ve always been struck by how kind and lovely and supportive and humorous your posts always are. And cheerful! You clearly volunteer every day to project sunshine into the world despite your own challenges and pain. You are a gift.
God bless.
xoxoxox
Thanks SO much, Holly! You made my day…my week!!! (I’m wiping away the tears. You’re so kind!) It’s quite the supportive community that Grechen has built here.
That’s AWESOME, Nora! What a wonderful idea that really continues to give as a book makes its way from an inmate to the prison library, opening minds and hearts.
this times a million 🙂
Can you delete “?”…it was supposed to be “happy face blowing a kiss” emoji!!!
Haha. Done! Emojis don’t translate well all the time…
I am always late to these posts but my two cents:
I am not currently volunteering because work is crazy, but if my schedule allowed, I would. Instead, I donate $20 here and there when I can, and usually to local rescues for specific dogs in need. I regularly donate to Safe Humane Chicago – they have a great program “Court Case Dogs” where they rehab and look for rescues for dogs caught up in court cases (i.e. a felon is found with unsterilized dogs, and of course much worse), they have the VALOR program Veterans Advancing the Lives Of Rescues wherein vets learn dog training skills which helps them as much as the dogs.
I’ve volunteered in the past through Pets for Life (which is through the Humane Society) doing a community event where we helped folks in a specific neighborhood here in Chicago get vaccines for their dogs, bags of food, scheduled appointments for spay/neuter, etc.
If we were able to, I think we would foster. Re Dagny’s anxiety, you never know – one friend with a pittie got another and they’re BFF and I think comfort each other very much.
At any rate, good luck and let us know what you decide!
I volunteer read/tutor with early readers here in Vancouver too! I’ll be starting my third year at it. I see 6 kids one-on-one once a week during the school year.
I also volunteer with my 11 year old daughter with a charity called Backpack Buddies. They provide food for the weekend for elementary age kids who receive breakfast/lunch from the public school board. In other words, they don’t go hungry on the weekend. They receive two breakfasts, lunches, suppers, snacks and drinks.
We donate $ to a variety of arts charities. TIFFkids (the international kidsfilm festival in Toronto so that underprivileged kids can see good film), TIFF, etc. Our main focii overall are helping underprivileged kids enjoy the arts plus literacy.
Aww, you are so welcome and deserving, Mamavalveeta. I spoke from my heart. And you are also very right about how supportive and constructive Grechen’s community is.
xoxoxo
I foster kittens at my local animal shelter. The reward is priceless!
Jennifer – I wish I had the skill to crochet blankets for animals. A soft warm blanket can make a big difference, especially when many animals might be sleeping on concrete or in metal cages. Thank you for doing this. I hope that all gets better soon as you go through this difficult time.
jennifer, i’m sorry for what you’re going through right now.
thank you so much for what you are doing, and mentioning that organization – it sounds perfect! i only wish i could knit/crochet; i would do that in a second…
This is such an inspiring post to read. I can be overwhelmed by indifference and cruelty in the world, and this brings me such hope. Thanks so all of you.
I’ve been volunteerign with the local Food Bank for two years!